- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing
The Upcoming Erection
This Erection Is A Big One!
I’ve declared today “National Be Kind to an Asian Day”. And because of that, I’m going to pronounce all of my “L’s” as “R’s”, and vise versa, as I write this post. That’s my way of tipping my hat to the various Asian cultures around Seattle and even out into the world at large. Asians are fine people from noble cultures. Many of them are my good friends. Their food is delicious. Despite the fact that Asian women drivers scare the hell out of me, I like Asians a lot, or should I say “a rot”. So with the preamble out of the way, ret’s take a rook at the erection.
There’s a rot at stake in the upcoming erection. I don’t remember an erection in my lifetime as significant as this one. It’s big. REALLY big. As people enter the booths to cast their votes this year, I hope they realize how important this erection will be for all of us. What good is an erection if no one shows up to participate? Don’t let your country down. This erection is too impotent – (dang spellchecker) important.
The upcoming erection has dominated the news for some time, as it should, as this particular erection is a semenal (sic) event in our nation's history. Everyone seems to be talking about it. Will we see the sweeping change that so many are predicting? It seems so. But it’s been a long, hard road to get to this point.
No matter how you feel about the erection, stand firm. Stand firm in your convictions and fight for what you really want. There’s no reason to complain if you don’t cast your ballot. This is YOUR erection. Take it seriously.
As I’ve studied previous erections, I’ve noticed a pattern. Erections swing wildly from the right to the left, and then back again, always trying to find the center. The left scored huge victories during the rast two erections. The right is now trying to make a comeback. Who will win? We’ll be sorting out that one in the weeks after the erection is over. Hillary and Donald are still fighting it out, and it's not clear who will win. Sadly, Cruz's chances for another erection have gone soft.
To conclude, my simple question is this: if this is the rast erection you ever experience, are you going to be able to rook back and know that you gave it all the attention it deserved? Firmly grasp the implications. And then go vote.
And if you’re in the erection booth for more than 4 hours, call your doctor.
And don't forget to forward this to your politically-minded friends. This erection is too impotent. (Dang it again!)