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The Vanity of Hair

Updated on March 14, 2011
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The Vanity of Hair

Hair is a dilemma
within my family...
It sprouts like wild, unbridled weeds
Or grows too scantily.

Those who have more than their share,
by now should own Gillette...
the rest are prone to baldness,
much to their fond regret.

Neither side is happy
and whine about their lot...
the hairy and the bald alike,
both jealous and distraught.

Now as for me, this writer,
I support Gillette...
How I love my razor...
As a female and brunette.

My sons, they are my nemesis...
receding one and all...
They shave their heads to hide the fact...
so they don't have to bawl.

One day, it was not long ago,
I dared to whine out loud...
I exclaimed, " I hate my hair!"
At the response I got, I cowed...

My oldest son, between clenched teeth,
said, "Mom, I'd buy the farm...
To have your hair upon this head!
Yes, I'd give my right arm!"

And it was in that instant
that the realization came...
that I had best be grateful
and bit my tongue in shame!

I suppose, the sin at hand
is none but vanity...
one of the seven Deadly Sins
this hair insanity!

"Copyright 2011, All Rights Reserved."

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    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 6 years ago from California

      No_Clue, this was super adorable!!! lol great work lol

      smiles :)

      bella

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      I was blessed/cursed with a head full of curly, wavy hair that I still retain (although it is now mostly white.)

      It all depends on what it looks like in the morning.

    • justom profile image

      justom 6 years ago from 41042

      Haaaa, very funny! How about those guys that do a comb over. I once laughed at our congressman Steve Chabot right to his face. Not to be mean but I looked at his do and just busted out laughing. I say a lot of hair or no hair but taking 5 strands and thinkin' if you comb those bad boys right across your noodle you're gonna' look good PLEASE look in the mirror:-P Peace!! Tom

    • profile image

      No_Clue 6 years ago

      A thousand thanks, bella! It is a true tale!

      WillStarr...one thing that can be said for the baldy...no bed head there...lololol!!! The silver lining shines bright in this cloud!!!

      justom...it is so funny you mentioned that...my departed father, God rest his soul, was a Sasquach with a bald pate...who sported the comb-over. The excess hair was HIS gene!!! But not on the dome...he got teased mercilessly about that and it was a sore spot for sure!!! Thanks!

    • jamiecoins profile image

      jamiecoins 6 years ago from ireland

      cool hub

    • No_Clue profile image
      Author

      No_Clue 6 years ago

      jamiecoins, thank you!

    • profile image

      janbee 6 years ago

      Great work,No_Clue....I so enjoy reading your hubs! They make my day.!

    • No_Clue profile image
      Author

      No_Clue 6 years ago

      Thank you, janbee...I so appreciate your visits and great support and comments!

    • Radioguy profile image

      Radioguy 6 years ago from Maine

      This is very funny and full of wisdom. In Biblical times, a woman's beauty consisted of having beautiful hair as you know. But even today, when there's a handsome man arriving on the scene, many women give themselves away by fussing with their hair the moment they lock eyes. And, if you want any woman to smile, simply say, " Oh,I like your hair."

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 6 years ago from Isle of Man

      Hair today gone tomorrow, Delilah!

      Thank you for that great poem.

    • No_Clue profile image
      Author

      No_Clue 6 years ago

      Radioguy, I thank you kindly, Sir!

      Spirit Whisperer, Good one! It was actually a therapeutic write, finding some humor and owning an issue that has long been one!

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      You're the lucky one, No_Clue, as even the richest, aka, The Donald, can't buy what's not there! Humorous and grateful words about a subject that plagues those without.

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikkij504gurl 6 years ago from Louisiana

      make the best of wat you got! be it lots of hair or lack thereof. you could always cut some off and donate it.

    • No_Clue profile image
      Author

      No_Clue 6 years ago

      Well now, Amy, you have certainly "Trumped" me! lol...Hugs!

      Nikki, you got it, Girl! Thanks!

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 6 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      This is cute, I guess you learned a lesson from your son! They have a way of teaching us a thing or two! I have two of my own! Crazy photo! Good laughs!

    • No_Clue profile image
      Author

      No_Clue 6 years ago

      Fossillady, my sons, all three, God bless them, have been and remain, my greatest teachers...! and not all fun lessons, either! Thank you for your kind audience!

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 6 years ago

      No_Clue...I love this poem..I laughed so hard because me and my hair battled for years..different colors, short or long.. I just cut it short pixie and no more color..I am very happy that I will not battle anymore..well I might let it grow abit but thats IT! haha

      Thanks for a great poem that we all can relate to.

      Sunnie

    • No_Clue profile image
      Author

      No_Clue 6 years ago

      Ahh Sunnie, I am happy to bring a laugh! My dilemma is that when my hair is short, I want it long and when it is long, I want it short...but I don't complain, anymore...lest my hair disappear for lack of appreciation!

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 6 years ago

      lol I am the same way..so the battle goes on..maybe I should be just thankful for the hair I do have..:)

      Sunnie

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Adorable poem, sweet and delightful, how true! It's kind of like with Dr.Seuss - 'be happy with what you have, and what you have will make you happy' LOL we wish for the things we don't have all the time =)

    • No_Clue profile image
      Author

      No_Clue 4 years ago

      Many thanks, Max! I fear it is human nature to want what we don't have, i suppose. Hugs!

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