I watch as the pain was injected in my skin. I felt it trickle down my nerves in no time. I felt my breathing pattern change. My heart raced. Each muscle, each membrane in my body felt so weak to the touch that it almost made me feel disconnected with the real world. I was fading. But this fading was almost physically real. It was physically manifested as some parts of me fell off. It was not a mere metaphor of how I used to feel years before I was trapped in this metal chair and suit.
My life is flashing now before my eyes. I can’t even tell if it is hallucination or if this projection does exist in reality. All the more I felt empty. The pain now succumbs my whole being. Even the death angel wept watching. And all the while I thought the being had no emotions. As I recall how it strapped me on to this chair. I was unwilling. Begging. But it showed me no sign of mercy.
I thought that projections of my life will help ease the pain that the vial and the entrapment in this metal chair brought me. But no. It only showed me the parts of my life I never want to go back to. Pain after pain. Rejection after rejection. The brutal but sour reality I lived in. It added to the hurt that was physically torturing me. It weighed.
And then it hit me once again. Slowly yet surely. That vial of pain formulation has completely overcome me. My feet unrest. My organs bursting. I was experiencing excruciating pain. Even my eyes are hurting. It felt like someone’s fingers are plucking them out from my eyeballs. My throat slitting in half. My lungs poked. As I hear the clock’s second hand ticking which I did not notice due to panicking a while ago, I noticed that breathing was becoming more and more difficult. As if the second hand knows for sure that with each passing, my death becomes more and more certain. I am slowly losing the sound of it ticking. My ears now hurting as well. I heard a loud ring and then it felt like all the nerves in my ears burst. I tried to scream. I tried so hard to scream to let out a cry for help.
Why me? Why is this happening to me right now? And why now? Questions surround my slowly melting brain. And as I opened my eyes and glance at the screen once again, I saw me summoning. Summoning death to befall. And I willingly took its hand when it came. The questions faded. All the pain seemed to stop. And then, I saw me. Still strapped on the metal chair. Blood dripping everywhere. But now I feel free.
© 2019 Stjrna Cristobal