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The Woman With the Pants and the Man Who Wears Them: A Humorous Tribute to My Parents
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I love my parents. They are wonderful people, and they both have a fantastic sense of humor. They are also very smart, and “with it.” Both of my parents worked for our local university; dad for over 40 years, and mom for 26. They retired 3 years ago and have been enjoying their freedom ever since.
During the last days of work; prior to retirement, my parents were very busy, as their work units were each preparing for a huge loss. Mom and dad had both contributed significantly to their workplace over the years, and were both well-liked and well-known. I suppose somewhere in those last days between the hustle and bustle of work and thoughts of lazy days ahead, dad decided to go on a brief mental vacation (like senioritis, a.k.a. the last year of high school). What I mean, is that I believe he was probably spacing out a bit. Kind of like “the lights are on and nobody’s home” (this was and still is one of his favorite sayings).
One morning, mom and dad were in a hurry to get out the door for the daily treck into work. They were running behind so my father scurried to get dressed. His usual attire included a t-shirt, flannel or plaid shirt, jeans, steel-toe boots and a work jacket. Mom had to dress up for her job, so she did not wear jeans to work. She did, however; do the laundry…
As soon as they were in the truck and on their way to work, dad started to complain to my mother about how she was shrinking his clothes in the dryer. My mother did not think too much of this, I suppose because she was thinking about the busy day ahead. Dad dropped mom off at work, parked the truck, and began the walk to his office. Over the course of walking two blocks he began to notice first, that it was difficult to move his legs; then he was having difficulty breathing so he tried to pull at the waist of his jeans to loosen them. I think he was having to take really small steps because his jeans were so tight.
The rest of dad's day was the same. He had a hard time moving around and continued tugging at his jeans in an attempt to stretch them so he could breathe better. At the end of the day my father walked back to his truck (still very uncomfortable in those jeans), picked up my mother, and drove back home. When they arrived, dad decided it was time to change into some pants that were actually comfortable. He told mom that he wanted to get rid of ”them pants” and left them for her to deal with. Mom picked up the jeans and was deliberating about what to do with them when she noticed they were not my fathers jeans, they were hers!
I am sure you can imagine the conversation that took place following this grand discovery.
What did we learn from this experience?
· Women’s pants make the world go ‘round.
· Behind every man is a good pair of pants.
· The man may wear the pants in this family, but the woman is the one who owns them.