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The Writer and other Poetry by Faye Constantino

Updated on September 20, 2010

I am a Writer

I've been a writer since I was thirteen. I walked into the classroom of my 10th grade English teacher knowing that I wanted to be a writer. I had met a character in a book over the summer, and I knew. I didn't know yet how to write, but my mother was a writer, so how hard could it be.

This teacher was amazing. While standing in the hall on the first day of school, the door locked, waiting for her to let us in, we could see her room did not look like your normal English class. Instead of books there was art everywhere!

We started out the year with life size artwork depicting Starry Starry Night: it was a standing Van Gogh figure with the painting reproduced on the body, but you could look at it and hear the song in your head. There were artistic representations of poetry and songs in every corner of the room. Over there was Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, and in this corner Bowie's Space Oddity. There were murals, as a border, along the tops of the walls.


Around the room, on counters and window sills, were framed pictures, reproductions of artwork that might be found in a museum as well as pieces produced by art students in our own school. There was no seating chart this time. We were instructed to sit where we would have a good view of a piece of art that caught our eye and moved us. Moving your desk to get a better view of a particular work of art was encouraged.

It's no wonder that she was quickly our favorite teacher. Entering this class made the world go away, almost literally. When we entered her classroom, the rest of the High School life effectively disappeared. The only thing that could not yet be controlled was the bullying and ridicule that goes on in schools around the country to this day.

We had several projects that year. The first was to read our favorite poem or song lyric to the class. It had to be one that we knew by heart, that meant something to us. No one was allowed to choose one that was already chosen, so I turned in one no one would choose. I chose "See This House" by Michael O'Martian.

See This House by Michael O'Martian

See this house I've built.
It stands so strong,
It took so long.
Placed so high on this hill.
No one sees in,
They never will.

Board by board I willed the walls into place,
And the roof went on with my dreams.
As nice as it is on the outside,
You know it's still not all what it seems.

Inside it's all run down.
Lonely and bare,
Dark everywhere.
Confusion all around.
Things to be sold.
Love to be found.
Down the hall, that room's been locked up for years.
And neglect has misplaced the key.
It's full of old memories I bought for a price,
At a time when nothing came free.

But you.......
Opened the door.
And there was light like there's never been before.
Then you......
Gave me the key.
And there was love there to set me free

And until you........

I was like sand,

Blown out of hand

See this house I've built.
It stands so strong,
It took so long.
Inside it's been made new.
It's all I have.
It's all for you.

Of Course...

Yeah, I got picked apart for that one. They didn't get it! They thought that I was dedicating myself to them, and that I thought I looked good on the outside.

What teenager really thinks that?

I could feel the stares and hear the murmurs as I made my way back to my seat...

I still have the tears in my eyes and the lump in my throat at the memory...

The one place I could be accepted, the one place where we were all equal, the one time I could trust everyone to actually see me...

And I blew it.

Years later...

I'm an adult now ( I think) and it has been many years, more than I care to count. I never became a published author because I was afraid of what people would think of me and say about me behind my back, or worse, to my face.

I started about nine years or so ago, writing on Poetry.com. They went under and now all of my poetry is owned by LULU Poetry. I have tried to retrieve it. They still haven't given it back, but at least they have gathered it all in one place, under my real name.

Now, here, among my peers, I have grown to a place where I can show my face, my feelings, my history and my art. 

So, see this house? It's all I have, it's all for you... Thank you Hub Pages writers, for being the friends who live inside my computer. Thank you for allowing me to publish my work here. Thank you for supporting me, reading me, sharing me, daring me to do better! Thank you for treating me with respect when I deserve it and kid gloves when I need it, and thank you for the ready supply of shoulders to cry on and crutches to lean on. 

If you are new to Hub Pages, just go to the tab marked "Hubbers" at the top of the screen and click on any name, and you will see who I mean. There are thousands of writers here who will love and accept you, nurture you and protect you. Even those who may seem fierce in the forums will become a teddy bear rather than a grizzly if you need help from them.

If you are new here. Welcome to Hub Pages, you'll find a happy home here... If anyone gives you any trouble, just let me know, they probably didn't mean it...

One of my old poems, now on LULU Poetry

The Writer

by Faye Marie Constantino

Before a blank page I sit, quite daunted.
By scenes of dreamlike specters, I'm haunted.

I try to form the words in my mind,
to instill in the reader the vision in kind.

I want to take you by the hand, and lead you,
To this magical place I've been to...

But I can't seem to find the map or the way,
With hands poised o'er the keyboard I pray.

When my eyes are closed I see their faces,
and when I am not thinking I hear the traces,
of phrases spoken between lovers entwined.
But I ask, should I let them out of my mind?

What repercussions might there be,
if I dare reveal the hidden essence of me?
Will I be ridiculed and mocked?
Should I leave these stories locked
up in the cages of my inner managerie?

Or should I with my magic key,
Open wide the gates and set them free?

Would you still respect me in the morning?

Another, called "Seeds of Sorrow"

The seeds of sorrow were planted in me,
oh so long ago.
Many came to tend the seeds,
to feed them and watch them grow.
When e'er a wildflower dared to bloom
it was cut down by shovel or hoe.
Hence the garden you now see,
is filled with despair and woe.

The garden next door is filled with light;
with fragrances and colors bright.
It was sown with seeds of joy,
tended lovingly by one small boy.
He was always laughing and running,
while my gardeners were shamefully cunning.

Sometimes I wonder, if I pray,
Might I have a little boy one day,
who'll bring me a bit of life's spark,
to chase away the awful dark?

Comments

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  • epigramman profile image

    epigramman 7 years ago

    ..and yes I am here for you ..... as you have been here for me!!!!

  • Faybe Bay profile image
    Author

    Faye Constantino 7 years ago from Florida

    Thank you Epigramman, you keep me going so much of the time. It's as if you know I need you, and then you're here.

  • epigramman profile image

    epigramman 7 years ago

    .....in reference to the comment above ..... "and I will read your work forever!!!"

  • Faybe Bay profile image
    Author

    Faye Constantino 7 years ago from Florida

    Thank you for that Glendoncaba. I have been told numerous times that I need a thicker skin. I have seen it in other artists... One wrong step and everyone wonders where and why they "left". All it takes is one bad review and all the Kudos ever written seem to disappear. I had someone on YouTube who verbally attacked me for commenting that a singer "couldn't" sing the old songs anymore. This was a true statement, that he had decided long ago to stop because his voice was no longer "true" to the original sound of the song. Man did I catch h*ll for saying it, but listening to interviews and recalling his retreat from the public eye, it was obviously because of a single incident when his future as an artist was questioned... Some never recover from that question... He could still sing the songs, just not in the same way as in his early youth, but that wasn't good enough. I prefer to think that our art will improve as it changes. Maybe that is why I can write now, no apologies, so much less fear. I'm here, and me, and love me or not, I am a writer.

  • glendoncaba profile image

    glendoncaba 7 years ago from Somewhere in the hubverse

    The trouble with writers and artists is that we are such sensitive souls, yet to succeed we must become warriors for our feelings, our opinions, our genre.

    Go ahead. Write.

  • Faybe Bay profile image
    Author

    Faye Constantino 7 years ago from Florida

    Yeah I did, I don't know what took me so long! Thank goodness and all that's holy for Hub Pages, or I'd still be scribbling in notebooks!

  • heart4theword profile image

    heart4theword 7 years ago from hub

    That is so great! You knew exactly what you wanted to be at such a young age:) Nice Poem Too!

  • Faybe Bay profile image
    Author

    Faye Constantino 7 years ago from Florida

    No, still trying. In the mean time I figured at least there's a link now to that page. I just did my Hub 100! I am so excited!

  • lorlie6 profile image

    Laurel Rogers 7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

    That business with LULU is crazy. Do you have any recourse at all?

  • Faybe Bay profile image
    Author

    Faye Constantino 7 years ago from Florida

    Wendy and K9, you are both so sweet with your compliments! I have read some true masters and as they say we are hardest on ourselves, we are always our own worst detractor.

  • K9keystrokes profile image

    India Arnold 7 years ago from Northern, California

    I could read your work forever.

    K9

  • Wendy Krick profile image

    Wendy Krick 7 years ago from Maryland

    You are a very talented writer! Love it.

  • Faybe Bay profile image
    Author

    Faye Constantino 7 years ago from Florida

    My head's up, Lorlie. I love Hub Pages! I just don't know how LULU Poetry can keep my stuff against my will. They lied to me repeatedly stringing me along with e-mails telling me I could claim it, and then the site told me it didn't exist! I can google it, but I can't sign in and edit, it's my stuff.

  • lorlie6 profile image

    Laurel Rogers 7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

    You are among friends, Faybe Bay! I adore the HubPages community and am honored to read your writings.

    Hold your head up high, gal!!

  • Faybe Bay profile image
    Author

    Faye Constantino 7 years ago from Florida

    Hi Timorous! Thanks for the pep talk. I had written so much on Poetry.com and was really happy with that, but this thing with LULU Poetry, and if I use my poetry here it's "Duplicate content" got me kind of upset. I am a writer, and the copyright is in my name. I don't understand why LULU won't give me my poetry back. I didn't write it for their site. They've let others use it, and they make the income (if any) from it being there. It should be here, so that's what all this is about. It's the only way I can have people look at my poetry. Clicking on my name in the hub takes the reader to all of my poetry on LULU.

  • timorous profile image

    Tim Nichol 7 years ago from Me to You

    Hi Faybe; Nice poetry..and they say so much. You really need to open up the windows, and let the light shine in. Don't be so hard on yourself...don't take everything to heart..be confident.

    There's yer pep talk for today. Cheers. :)

  • Faybe Bay profile image
    Author

    Faye Constantino 7 years ago from Florida

    Thank you Breakfastpop, it means a lot to me to receive such high praise from you. I love your writing, it enthralls me, so to think my writing brings you pleasure is truly a boost to my confidence.

    @ Dobson, Thank you for your input, it's true that I love creating visions for others to see through me words. You are one of my heroes here at Hub Pages. You write serials which was what I wanted to do in my early days as a writer. My first love is serial fiction. When I first came here I couldn't find anyone doing that and wasn't sure if it could be done, so I'm watching you and plan to start publishing some of my work in serial format.

  • Dobson profile image

    Dobson 7 years ago from Virginia

    Writing unleashes the creator in us. I think everyone wants to create in some way, but writers have the most awesome ability in the world, the ability to creat new thoughts to share with the world.

  • breakfastpop profile image

    breakfastpop 7 years ago

    You are supremely talented and it has been a pleasure and a privilege to read your work.

working

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