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The Wrong Side of Town

Updated on November 24, 2014
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In a smoky bar on the wrong side of town,

The urge for a drink and some tunes turned me 'round.

Walking in from the rain and the cold, with a stare,

Surely made the locals of the village mighty aware.


Trouble was afoot there ain’t no denyin’.

The die was cast, and none were relyin’.

The first glass to break, was chancy at best.

Then came the signal to bust up the rest.


Until I saw something I never had seen,

If you saw her, too, you’d known what I mean.

Her eyes were of green, no, they were blue.

I was entranced, just didn’t know what to do.


I forgot where I was and what I was doing,

I saw for myself, more trouble was brewing.

She looked in my eyes and I was double-duty bound

For the girl was bad news while I was around.


She walked over to me and stared in my eyes

Her beauty was exquisite, I tell you no lies.

Her perfume was an essence of what I had dreamed

My legs were locked, and my body was a machine.


She smiled in a way to entice, her habits were clear

She nodded her head, down the bar went sailing a beer.

Smoke rings filled the air, you could cut tension with a knife

Little did I know, she would suck out my life.


She walked out the door with my heart in tow,

I was putty in her hands, yet how did she know.

When she vanished into thin air, I awakened in smoke

My life flashed in front of me, and that ain’t no joke.


The headlights of that car was bearing down on me,

I had nowhere to turn, for I couldn’t flee.

Only I could see the apparition of the girl

Whose disappearance snuffed out my world.


The headlines in tomorrow’s newsprint read,

"Sober Subject Run Down with Senses Mislead"

Let it be a lesson to you, when your addictions call,

You’re on the right side of town minus the Devil’s doll.

© 2014 Deb Hirt

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    • aviannovice profile image
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      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Peg! And let that be a lesson to you on why to keep away from the wrong side of town...

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 2 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      The title drew me in and I stayed, entranced by the imagery and rhythm along with the story. It was intriguing. Nice one, Deb.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      She sounds wonderful, Siti. Sounds like you're a great parent.

    • profile image

      Siti 2 years ago

      Each day can be different..but most days she loves budiilng castles for her dolls, then she changes her mind & builds a roadway for her cars..

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Kevin! Thanks so much. They always just come to me.

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 2 years ago

      That is terrific Deb! It has pizzaz and it is a beautiful piece of artwork. Either it took a lot of thinking or it just came to you. I voted it up, shared and Tweeted it.

      Kevin

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Took me less than 45 minutes. Thanks, perspy, I thought I was a bit better than that, too.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 2 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      There is a term "barista" (generally associated with Starbucks coffee these days) but I will put you down as a "poetista" for this one. Free flow? I doubt it. Too well crafted for that. How long did it actually take you to write it?

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Nell. Sometimes you never know what will turn up in a bar, eh?

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      That was a great poem Deb! those addictions will get you, or maybe a ghost? voted up!

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks so much, David. I never know what I will get once I begin something. All it takes is the idea and watch how it plays out in my head.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Kim, but I am a lover, not a fighter...

    • D.A.L. profile image

      Dave 2 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      Hi Deb,

      You never fail to amaze with your talent. Great poetry glad I made this enjoyable visit. Well done.

    • klidstone1970 profile image

      இڿڰۣ-- кιмвєяℓєу 2 years ago from Niagara Region, Canada

      Your talent never ceases to amaze me, Deb. Talk about grabbing your reader's attention by the throat with this one! Great job.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Hey, Alicia! I never know where my pen is going to take me on these explorations. Glad that you found this piece of merit.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is an interesting poem with a great surprise ending, Deb! Thanks for sharing.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Cris…I see LOTS of things…you should walk with me sometime.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks so much, Smilealot….there's also other poetry in my repertoire that you might like. Take a walk on the wilder side!

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Mary…I'm always getting some new electric jolt through my fingers. To be honest, I never know how they will end until they end...

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      So, you see dead people too? Lol Deb! I was so curious to find out what happens in the end.

      Great, enjoyable read!

    • profile image

      Smilealot 2 years ago

      This was an enjoyable cautionary tale...a great read:-)

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      Deb you are so multi-talented. This was quite a poem. At first you're not sure of what's happening but then it hits you, kind of like an addiction does after its too late. Great poem.

      Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks so much, Billy. Now, all we need is your Dead Man's Curve, and we're back in business. Hope you have enough smokes...

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh, that was sooooo fun, Deb! Excellent read and just an enjoyable poem. Well done my friend.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      I will use extreme caution, manatita…(grin)

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 2 years ago from london

      Careful Deb. The other members of your psyche may become jealous and go on strike. I know that you are a good Team-player, though. Great poetry.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      I appreciate that, manatita. But actually, thank my fingers. They did most of the work.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 2 years ago from london

      Extremely beautiful Deb. Awesome, in fact. Really enjoyed this piece.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Sha…I've done a few others that you might like, too. Thanks for the support.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      Wow, Deb. This is deep! What an important message put to the tune of poetry. You're a poet, too and I didn't know it!

      Excellent!

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      ChitrangadaSharan, thanks for reading, as well as the critique, which is always helpful.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      I appreciate that, Jodah. My creativity was really flowing for that one.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, Suhail. As always, it just popped into my head.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 2 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Nice poem and you kept the interest from start till the end.

      The last four lines are very nicely expressed with the right message.

      Thanks!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      What an interesting read, gotta be careful of those addictions .. and look out for the "devil's doll" :) Well done.

    • Suhail and my dog profile image

      Suhail Zubaid aka Clark Kent 2 years ago from Mississauga, ON

      Wow! What an advice! I loved this poem. You are definitely a great poet. For some odd reason, I remembered Eagles' great song Hotel California too.

    • aviannovice profile image
      Author

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Thanks, schoolgirl! If you like that, you might enjoy some of my others. I appreciate you're reading this...

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 2 years ago from USA

      Love the flow and rhythm, very talented poet you are!