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The Wrong Write

Updated on March 23, 2012

Comfortably Numb

 source: Michaels mind
source: Michaels mind
Source: Michaels Mind
Source: Michaels Mind

Depression

This will be my different Write,

there are no meaninful words in here

that were meant to cause hurt

or words to bring you cheer.


I only need... a few words

just so many, I won't have to count

as I feel the anxiety to write

the hurt inside.. constantly mounts.


Where is this place I come from

you could never understand

a place of loneliness and depression

a place of a strange dark land.


Somedays,... they are so happy

others I can't stand.

a different person... and a foreign place

a world of shifting colorless bands.


"Is there anybody in there ?

just nod if you hear me",

in my head... a song, I hear

Please give me words that pick me up

a few words that will.. alleviate my fear.


There is no pain, only heartache...

for a love.. that never arrives

a joke.. I always tell to myself

in order to survive.


When my God looks down upon me

I ask him .. why do this to me

i never hear an answer

so I go on unhappily.















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    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      "Are you going to be busy impressing the whole room?" She asked.

      She couldn't help asking, after all. It had made her feel as if she was unimportant and she didn't like that feeling.

      "If you think you could focus your attention, I would love to grab a burger with you before a nice, gentle movie."

    • bellawritter23 profile image

      Erica Sanchez 5 years ago from California

      Oh so I see I'm not the only vagabond who travels to this land . Oh time in n time out have my feet astrayed and failed me at the very moment of arrival. Hope all is going better for you at this very moment Mr. Cleaner.

      Smile :)))

      Bella

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      I have been alright but a little busy. I have thinking of you all the time . i just want you to know that i respect you totally and would like to apoligize if you thought Iwas out of order. how about we just grab a quick bite and go take in a movie howw does that sound?

      he waited for her to answer. His mind was racing now, he wanted to tell her that he was falling in love with her but he actually didn't know how. He waited for her answer.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      The shock of hearing from him closed her throat and did not allow for her to answer him. He sounded as if he were in uncharted water and feeling adrift in it.

      She was nodding her head, but he could not see her. She had to force something out of her throat, or he would get the wrong impression...

      "Hello. Yes, more casual would be good. No, I don't think my apartment would be the best place to watch a movie." She choked out, "How are you?"

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      Ooh! I found it! This is the poem with our human lust story! Yay! lol

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      "Hello" he said, the silence from her on the other side of the call was unbearable . until he heard her voice answer. "Hi, well you decided to call me? The way you snuck out, I didn't think you would ever call me again."

      Treading cautiously he answered coyly.

      "I didn't want to wake you, You were sleeping so soundly."

      "Well, would you like to go out again? This time it will be more casual,since we know each other so well."

      Damn it, he thought he sounded like an Idiot again.Don't blow this, he thought to himself. slow down and play it by ear. "do you want to go to movie or I could go over to your apartment again with some takeout and we could watch a movie there?" again the silence, it was killing him. He was not comfortable in this position, he was used to being in control. he was used to dictating what was going to happen, he was very confused and felt so helpless.

      Is this what real love was like? is this what he had alwways stood away from, keeping his emotions inside staying aloof and carefree? Now the ball was in her court.!

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      He would dial her number several times and get to the last number and then lose his nerve and hang up. Damn it he would say to himself, this time i will, with the same result. what if she blew me off, if I asked her out again? maybe, I should just take her to a movie, do something normal? No thats not his style. He was confused, she had him shook, well i am going to do this ,I can't wait no longer. After all she can't hurt me other than telling me to go to hell. He picked up the phone and punched the numbers and waited for her to answer..

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      Her apartment seemed hollow to her now. As if some important item had been removed and she could not figure out what it was. Her concentration was taking such a deep dive, even her gossiping co-workers noticed her lack of attention.

      Maybe she caught some kind of virus...

      Her mind continued to replay the events of the night before and then wandering into possible future events to come. She would forcibly return her thoughts to the present moment, only to find herself doing the same thing again a few moments later.

      What was she going to do? How could he have hooked her so well in such a short period of time?

      She berated herself for allowing a diversion to take up so much of her thoughts, then continued trying to remove him from her mind.

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      The next day he had thought about her all the time, he wanted so much to call her again, but he didn't know how to start the conversation. why do I feel this way he thought . he had had sex with many women as fine as her some even better but there was something different this time. no woman had ever made him feel like this, although even he had had a hard time admitting this to himself. He was in denial.

      He was going about his business, but his mind was elsewhere, always on what to say when he called, he had already decided that he would call her but had to build up the courage . He felt so empty, a feeling in the pit of his groin that seemed to grow, the more he thought of her.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      She awoke in the morning to an awful noise. What the hell was that?

      Oh, the phone. Damn!

      "Hello?" She said into the phone.

      "Well?!? How was it?" a voice on the phone said.

      "Tremendous! Except he was trying to impress everyone in the place..." She said.

      "Oh, that sucks!"

      "He was good enough to satisfy, so I got my efforts worth." she sighed.

      She looked through the open bedroom door and found herself wishing he was still there.

      Great! Another broken heart to mend. Her only comfort was that she had not kept him around long enough to have reminders of him in her apartment, once she laundered the sheets, remade the bed and cleaned the couch...

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      He had dozed off for a while then he awoke again when he heard movement in the other room. He listened to see if she was coming back to the bed but when the noise stopped he didn't know what to do. He turned on a small light and found his clothes. He slowly opened the door to the living room and saw her sleeping on the couch.

      Well he could look at this two ways, either he was so good he had worn her out or she had just used him the same way he had used many women he had taken home. As he closed the door to the apartment, he figured it was the first one because his ego would not let him think of the other to long.

      He walked out without leaving a note for her to call him, because he knew she wouldn't.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      She spent an hour sorting through her emails, before she awoke to her head hitting the desk with a soft thump. She should get some sleep.

      Halfway to the bedroom, she remembered he was in there. Damn! Now what? If she slept on the couch, he would be insulted. If she climbed into bed with him, he would think he would have further access.

      He had insulted her by looking at those other women while he was on a date with her...

      She arranged the cushions on the couch to make it as comfy as possible, then she lay down and began her descent into sleep.

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      he wasn't sure what startled him awake. Was it a noise or just the thought of being so comfortable, that he didn't realize where he was. he looked around at the dark bedroom where he lay with the soft blanket on top of him. oh yes, now he remembered, he was at her apartment. he was alone, he didn't want to get up. he didn't want to go and face her, he didn't know if she would want to have sex any more, it would be awkward only because they were like two animals that wanted to try to outdo each other. he wasn't sure if he could be a normal man again with her . she had challenged his moral character , it was like she was treating him like a piece of meat, like something he had done to many women himself. he knew exactly how they felt now.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      In spite of the quaking of her insides, she knew this man was going to be trouble. He was way too hot for her to handle. She would simply chalk it up to a one night stand and let him move on to the next ride. After all, isn't that what this kind of man did best?

      After a few moments, she realized he had not said anything. She looked at him.

      He was extremely handsome... He smiled in his sleep.

      The smile endeared her to him, but she stiffened her resolve and covered him in her bed. Then, she went to the hall closet, pulled out an extra blanket and wrapped herself in it at her computer.

      At least she could catch up on some email or something...

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Wow, She kissed him deep after he had kissed her neck with a few soft nibbles. then she raised up and led him to the bedroom like a little puppy on a leash. she was trying to make this something to remember the way she took charge of their love making. she almost tore off his clothes, as he hungrily kissed her neck and fondled her full breasts. It was if they knew exactly when to make certain moves, she kissed him so deep, he thought a few times he would lose his breath. it was a movement of syncronized motions,as if they were one. the lovemaking continued back and forth like they would never be satisfied with each, other always wanting to try to find the explosion of passion that seemed to engulf them whenever they touched, or looked into each others eyes. He wondered when the night would end, hoping she would not want it to.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      Their time together was hot and heavy as they migrated from the couch to the bedroom and back again.

      Exhausted and fully satisfied, she understood why this male was as arrogant as he was. However, she did not want to make a regular thing out of it. The last arrogant man she was with took several years to get over...

      "That was fantastic." She sighed, falling onto her side.

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      she had walked back into the room wearing a pink neglige that showed her beautiful body. She carried a tray with something to drink on it, but he couldn't look away from the sight of her as she leaned down and poured a drink from the tea on the tray. The neglige fell open at the top revealing her full bosom. Then she sat down next to him and said,"cream, sugar, honey?"

      we will have time for that later, he said as he got up and walked to the doorway. As He turned the lights down he walked back to the sofa and sat right next to her . then he put his hand on her soft neck and softly brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. he leaned over and whispered in her ear, " is your neck one of your erotic places?" Ummmm, you smell so good.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      She put the teapot on to boil, then she went to her room and selected a comfortable neglige. When she was finished with that she braided her hair, so as to keep as many tangles out as possible.

      As she returned to the other room, she took the serving tray down and put two cups on it. Then, she placed the sugar, honey, and creamer on it. Finally, the teapot whistled and she poured the water into a carafe.

      She carried the tray with all its trimmings into the living room and set it down on the coffee table. She glanced at him and asked, "Cream, sugar, honey?"

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      When she led him through the apartment door he stopped to size it up. he looked around and seen that it was very clean,he liked that. she took off her jacket and asked him if he wanted some tea or something. he knew she did not drink now from the restaurant, so he said yes, he'll take some and sat down on the comfortable couch. As she walked into the other room it looked like a bedroom to him , she said I am going to change into something more comfy, relax I will be right back.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      "Just for the fun. I see no reason to string this out any further than necessary." She replied, standing.

      She hoped he was as good in bed as he looked.

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      I'm game he said . do you got anything to drink or are we just going for the fun.?why not he thought.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      "How about my place?" She smiled, "It's nearby and, if we make it quick, you can catch you another when your finished with me."

      Her temper always got her into trouble. Damn. Oh, well... She could always go get Ben & Jerry to get her through another night...

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Hey , take it easy, he said. Lets go relax just for a little while at the club. We'll have a drink and then we can go to my place for a night cap O.K Unless you want to just go to my place for a couple of drinks.?

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      She watched him look around. She was just another in a long line of women. Hmm... Could she deal with that? No.

      "If you are more interested in one of them, be my guest. I will have no problem finding my way home. I have done it before." She said, "You are not serious about taking me to a club, are you?"

      She hoped he was joking. The arrogance of this man was wearing on her already, how was she going to get through the rest of this evening?

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Oh, I own a couple of cleaning businesses. I started out with one and my business grew so I had to expand into other parts of town. Thats the way you make money, he said. He swallowed his wine and proceeded to gobble his steak. After he finished his food he sat back and looked around again . he did that a lot to see how many women were staring at him. he wanted to make sure that he was looking good all the time. He said Are you ready to go to a club? As he was trying to focus back on her. Wow he thought as she started to get up. she looked so good. Even he was thinking now, I wonder if she knows how to have sex? He always said that the best looking, sexy girls aren't any good in bed. Well he would test his theory tonite.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      'He owns a few clubs and a couple of other businesses? What other businesses? Well, there goes anything lasting...' she thought.

      "Oh, that sounds... interesting." She said, "What other kind of businesses do you own?"

      She quickly ate her salad, now in a bit more of a hurry. If she was lucky, she could have him and have him gone by sun up... She wondered if it was possible for her to be around someone like him for very long... She didn't think so.

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      "I am a businessman, I own a few clubs and run a couple of other businesses," He said the server brought the salads and he smiled at her. she was cute, but not his style. As he hurriedly ate he noticed she was staring at him . she looked puzzled . Whats wrong he said

      Even though he knew already what was on her mind. Her eyes were giving her away.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      "I will have the chef salad with extra ranch dressing. I would like a ice tea with dinner." She said, smiling.

      She allowed the waiter to raise his eyebrows at her bosom before she blushed and pulled her jacket back over it.

      Her date removed his coat and stretched his arms out and her mind immediately returned to its previous state of take me home now! As she handed the waiter the menu, her jacket fell back open, but she barely noticed. She was entranced with her date.

      Then, his leg brushed hers and she nearly jumped out of her skin. The electrifying pleasure this created was nearly more than she could take. She found herself caught in his eyes. He was playing with her. He knew she wanted him and he was going to drag it out.

      She smiled at him once again and pulled herself together.

      'Stop acting like your in heat!' She told herself, then said, "Remind me again what you do for a living?"

      This could very well turn out much better than she imagined...

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      "I'll have a steak, give me the filet mignon please, well done. And all the trimmings, with a salad and another glass of wine to wash it down" he said. "You look stunning, he told her, "All the men wish they were me!" This time he looked at her ample bosom when she had moved her menu out of the way to look around. The waiter was even trying to look down her low cut dress. He took off his jacket showing his broad chest as he stretched his arms out. She was looking very hard, so he knew that that they would be making love tonite. but he was going to let it come nice and slow, there was no hurry, but as he sat down again his leg brushed her leg and their eyes met. Right away he knew he was in trouble. her eyes were saying lets go, why are you wasting time, take me here and now. "And you, miss are you ready to order"? the waiter asked her.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      "Please, you first." She said, smiling brightly, "I have an couple of things I am choosing between."

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      I would not miss this for the world, I am so happy I called you and asked you out again, he said. He remembered how their first date turned out, they were not on the same page.He was intimidated by her beauty. He had never went on a blind date before and he was so nervous to be with such a fine sexy woman he did not know how to act. This was going to be a different story, He told himself. I will be in control this time. the waiter came over and asked if they were ready to order.Yes he said. Do you know what you want? he asked her

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      She looked at him as much as the menu, wondering what she could eat that would not require chewing and would be quick. She wanted this dinner over yesterday, but he was apparently more interested in taking care of her.

      She relaxed and waited for him to order, if it wasn't too much she would order the same thing. If it was too much she would order a souffle.

      "I was wondering if you would be able to make it tonight." She said.

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      He was aroused by her choice of words, she said "our desires". This made him realize that they both had the same thing on their minds. Yes,lets have a drink, he said. I'll take a glass of wine, something light, because I don't want to spoil my appetite. Plus I want to have my wits about me when we go back to my place for a night that I'm sure i will not forget,he was thinking. They ordered their drinks and moved into the dining area. He noticed that all the men turned to look as she entered the room. She was gorgeous he thought as he walked behind her staring at the shape of her sweet behind wrapped tightly in that light blue dress. the waiter escorted them to their table and gave them menu's.

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Blossom, thank you for your comments, snd your support of my writing. I read your lastpoem and it was very good and reminded me of my own mother. Thank you for the moving words.

      Michael

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      Poetry, people, or creatures you are all about the romance! lol

      It was very impressive that he continued to look in her eyes, rather than lower. Though, she felt a twinge of disappointment and wondered if he was attracted to her at all.

      She smiled at his conversation. He was putting her first. She liked that!

      "I am well. How are you?" She replied, "I think a drink while we discuss our desires for the evening. I will have a Shirley Temple."

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 5 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      You express yourself so well in this poem. We all have down days - King David certainly did and look at how he expressed himself, too - for all of us down through the ages. Hope you are having some up days as well, especially as it is spring in your part of the world.

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      Hi, how are you ? he said to her. just trying to break the ice with small talk. can i buy you a drink or do you want to go out to dinner? Wow, he thought she is a stunner and she looked even hotter from up close. He could smell her perfume which lightly wafted through the air towards him as if it was saying hold me, take me now. Stay cool man, he reminded hinself. you haven't been with a woman this beautiful for a while . Play it nice and slow, enjoy it, don't rush. Her low cut dress showed her ample bosom and it was very hard not to look down , but to keep his gaze on her eyes. she was waiting for him to be just like the rest. To stare down her chest to say something stupid.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      She smiled to herself as she noticed the other women looking at him appreciatively, even the bartender smiled!

      She felt intense heat inside as his smile politely turned the bartender down.

      How long would it take to get him to take her home? How much small talk would she be forced to endure? Would he insist on eating or could they have an appetizer and get to the good stuff?

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      He stood up sraight as he walked toward her with an air of confidence. Damn, he thought to himself, she sure does look sexy. I don't know how long i can make it through this night, before I ask her to go home with me. The sexual tension was huge that he was feeling. Her body radiated with a glow that he felt from across the room. As he saw his reflection in the mirror walking past the bar he noticed that he was very handsome in his suit. Looking back at her, out of the corner of his eye he caught the female bartender smiling at him. he turned and gave her that smile that said, sorry Honey but i have me a fine sexy woman already waiting for me, maybe next time. right now He wanted her , the devil in the tight blue dress.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      He was wearing a suit. He must have read her mind while she was dressing. She knew how much he hated those things, she smiled as a wave of warmth filled her. She was special enough to wear a suit for!!! Could he endure it without complaint? Was she worth that as well? She could not wait to find out!

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      when I walked into the club , there she was. she was wearing that hot blue dress that hugged her like it she was born with it on. her long legs went all the way up to her rear end which stuck out from the bottom of her back. all the men were sraring at her but i knew she was there for me.

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      Giggle, your so awesome! lol

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      @ raciniwa, thank you for visiting.

      @ dreamer, Dreamer, Dreamer, you should know me by now. I am you

      you are me

      two are who

      we will be

      the future is only ours to see

    • BrokenDreamer profile image

      Jen Christopherson 5 years ago from Oklahoma, USA

      I was beginning to think you might have been a cheerleader or something, always bubbly, smiling and happy! Whew! Thank you for your insight into my pain (oh, wait... It was about your pain. Sorry!) lol Anyway, beautiful, inspiring, compassionate! I love it!

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      I hear you Michael...and so does God...God bless!!!

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      @Ruby , thankyou for visiting my hub and for your concern. I was just having a bad day and feeling down.

      it's a new day so here we go.!!!

      @teaches , thank you for your comments. and your support.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Brilliant Michael; you have such a natural way of composing each and every one of your poems.

      So an up up and away for this gem withut a doubt.

      Enjoy your weekend my friend.

      Eddy.

    • kathryn1000 profile image

      kathryn1000 5 years ago from London

      I like your poem and your art work is very good.You can spend an hour now and then experimenting and you wil be surprised how much you can learn using a simple tool like that.Good luck.Learning helps when we are sad.

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      @ my lovely Princess. Thank you for your words of insight. Now that you have seen inside my tortured soul, pray for me.

      I search for peace

      I look for love

      when will the lord

      from up above

      bring her home to me

      and answer my prayers

      this we shall see

    • cleaner3 profile image
      Author

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      @ Katrine, thanks for your kind words of encouragement.

      @MzTarrah, sometimes you try to get the words out but don't really know if they make sense to anyone who hasn't been through what you go through constantly.

      Thanks for the comments and support.

      @ Cort, thanks for the comments . glad you like it.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Such deep thoughts and ones that seek answers to lift a burden. It is not easy to talk about it when you go through depression. It always seems like no one can understand how you fee and you can't seem to get motivated, as your poem suggests. This is a time to seek out support from others who can be there for you.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Michael could you be suffering from Bi-polor? Up one day, down the next. I have a friend who has this. There is help out there. If you are just feeling low, it will get better. Tomorrow is another day. ( Scarlett Ohara ) Cheers...

    • Princess Prisca profile image

      Princess Prisca 5 years ago from Heaven living on Earth

      cleaner3,

      This, in my opinion, is a great poem!

      You have opened youself wide and allowed all readers to take a long look inside of your being.

      This is the first step, to either changing what is seen or letting the pain mount 'completely' out of control.

      KEEP asking God for answers, He will give them to you. Don't ever give up, that is what satan wants.

      God hears and answers prayers.

      John 14:1

      New King James Version (NKJV)

      Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.

      Peace and Blessings be unto you!

      Ciao...Princess Prisca

    • MizSpoken profile image

      MizSpoken 5 years ago

      Terrifc! Michael, it's beautiful, quite different from the others and inspiring.

    • MsTarrah profile image

      MsTarrah 5 years ago

      I'm nodding my head. I can certainly understand. I think exploring your feelings, and writing is an excellent way to deal with your pain. It's also helpful for others who may have similar feelings to come across something they can relate to. God bless you Michael.

    • profile image

      KatrineDalMonte 5 years ago

      Michael, yes it's a very different poem from your others about love. Don't let it get to you, there is always something to live for :-)