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The list of fun things to say
Ever Wished You Could Say What You Really Want To
I do not have this problem most of the time. I just say it.
Not really . I work with the public often. Sometimes as an install tech, And sometimes as a karaoke Jockey.
I bite my tongue so often that I have a callous. If I did not I would have black eyes all the time. If you have read my hubs , you know I have a sarcastic side a mile wide.
In the last few days I have worked with fellow Hubber Sunshine625.
We have each made lists.
50 things real men don't do Sunshine625
another 50 things men don't do Me
50 things real women don't do Sunshine625
Another 50 things real women don't do Me
This project got me thinking about things I say . And things I want to say but don't. So here are a few I say. or would like to say. Enjoy.
I Can't Help Myself.
This is one of my favorites . When I am in a restaurant. I order a steak or eggs. When the wait person says" how would you like your steak." I always say "free". Then just wait. It always takes a few seconds for them to react . When they do it is always with a smile.
Someone will say "how are you" I answer "Can't complain ,nobody listens any way"
Another one for the restaurant. The wait person will ask " Can I get you anything else" Then hand me the bill. I say " I didn't want anything else." They always say " Oh you get this anyway.
In people's homes, I some times drop a remote control or other small part. I will say. " The gravity check it a free part of our service. We need to be sure the remote won't float away."
At the grocery store. The clerk will ask " would you like your milk in a bag" I always say." No leave it in the jug ,It always leaks out of the bag."
Some one will say they are going to run to the store. I say " You should drive it's much faster."
At the gas station / convenience store. As I get to the counter the clerk will say " Do you have gas" I say " No I just took some rolaids."
When I enter someones house they ask " Do you like dogs?" I say " I love them, especially with hot sauce"
These Are A Few
I have shared the ones I use most. I say most things on the spot. They just pop into my head. I can't help it. My father always said my mouth out ran my brain.
He also would say " Boy if brains was gas , you could not power a mini bike around the inside of a cheerio."
Good thing they don't pay you what your worth. You would have to pay them to work there.
Boy you crapped your brain out in your first diaper.
If I want any crap out of you I'll squeeze your head.
No wonder I'm warped.