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The list of fun things to say

Updated on May 22, 2012
Source

Ever Wished You Could Say What You Really Want To

I do not have this problem most of the time. I just say it.

Not really . I work with the public often. Sometimes as an install tech, And sometimes as a karaoke Jockey.

I bite my tongue so often that I have a callous. If I did not I would have black eyes all the time. If you have read my hubs , you know I have a sarcastic side a mile wide.

In the last few days I have worked with fellow Hubber Sunshine625.

We have each made lists.

50 things real men don't do Sunshine625

another 50 things men don't do Me

50 things real women don't do Sunshine625

Another 50 things real women don't do Me

This project got me thinking about things I say . And things I want to say but don't. So here are a few I say. or would like to say. Enjoy.

I Can't Help Myself.

This is one of my favorites . When I am in a restaurant. I order a steak or eggs. When the wait person says" how would you like your steak." I always say "free". Then just wait. It always takes a few seconds for them to react . When they do it is always with a smile.

Someone will say "how are you" I answer "Can't complain ,nobody listens any way"

Another one for the restaurant. The wait person will ask " Can I get you anything else" Then hand me the bill. I say " I didn't want anything else." They always say " Oh you get this anyway.

In people's homes, I some times drop a remote control or other small part. I will say. " The gravity check it a free part of our service. We need to be sure the remote won't float away."

At the grocery store. The clerk will ask " would you like your milk in a bag" I always say." No leave it in the jug ,It always leaks out of the bag."

Some one will say they are going to run to the store. I say " You should drive it's much faster."

At the gas station / convenience store. As I get to the counter the clerk will say " Do you have gas" I say " No I just took some rolaids."

When I enter someones house they ask " Do you like dogs?" I say " I love them, especially with hot sauce"

These Are A Few

I have shared the ones I use most. I say most things on the spot. They just pop into my head. I can't help it. My father always said my mouth out ran my brain.

He also would say " Boy if brains was gas , you could not power a mini bike around the inside of a cheerio."

OR

Good thing they don't pay you what your worth. You would have to pay them to work there.

OR

Boy you crapped your brain out in your first diaper.

OR

If I want any crap out of you I'll squeeze your head.

No wonder I'm warped.

Comments

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    • bmcoll3278 profile imageAUTHOR

      bmcoll3278 

      6 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      Tirelesstraveler Thanks for the nice words.

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 

      6 years ago from California

      It's raining out, which makes it a good day for a laugh. Glad you put the disclaimer about your dad into your comments

    • bmcoll3278 profile imageAUTHOR

      bmcoll3278 

      6 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      Thanks for the comment. Unknown

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 

      6 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      Lol..we sometimes do that..saying funny things and people have to smile if they get it..

    • bmcoll3278 profile imageAUTHOR

      bmcoll3278 

      6 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      I like free steak. Thanks for reading.

    • quicksand profile image

      quicksand 

      6 years ago

      Lol! Who wouldn't want a "free" steak? :)

    • bmcoll3278 profile imageAUTHOR

      bmcoll3278 

      6 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      Thank you Katyzzz

    • katyzzz profile image

      katyzzz 

      6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Lot's of fun, LOL, all the way through it, well done bmc

    • bmcoll3278 profile imageAUTHOR

      bmcoll3278 

      6 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      Thank you very much.

    • r jayanthi profile image

      r jayanthi 

      6 years ago from india

      That was a very funny eye catching hub.they made a crisp read. I enjoyed it very much.Love to follow you . oted up and funny.

      jayanthi

    • bmcoll3278 profile imageAUTHOR

      bmcoll3278 

      6 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      Thanks for the kind words. In the us we would say "plaster your mouth shut" Funny how words are used in different ways in diff. places. Never heard "have a plaster for every sore" That's funny.

    • LadyFiddler profile image

      Joanna Chandler 

      6 years ago from On planet Earth

      Hey this was SUPER FUNNY. I laughed alot and shared the jokes with someone. I will be using the one with "How are you" ha ha. My mouth is pretty witty to. Granny always says i have a plaster for every sore. LOL.

      Thanks for the good laughs loved it

    • bmcoll3278 profile imageAUTHOR

      bmcoll3278 

      6 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      Thanks pmorries.

    • pmorries profile image

      pmorries 

      6 years ago from Golden, CO

      The hub was good, but your last comment was better.I look forward to reading more hubs from you.

    • bmcoll3278 profile imageAUTHOR

      bmcoll3278 

      6 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      upon reflection, I feel I need to add a disclaimer.My father was a great and loving man. Who taught me , You can be a man and still show your feelings. He passed 17 years ago, and I still miss him every day.

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