- Books, Literature, and Writing
The mystery of the disappearing underwear
Suspecting nothing I always hung my clean wash to dry outside. Every day, but the last months there was less wash to hang outside. Strangely enough there was always something missing, so after a few weeks I had to go out and buy new again. Underwear.
First I thought my washing machine was eating my lingerie. Socks that went in as a pair often came out a single, so why could it not be that it liked my underwear so much, that it wanted to keep it hidden somewhere. But no, I counted what went in and what came out. The machine wasn’t the guilty one. There was only one possibility left. Someone was taking the underwear from the line while I went to work or was asleep.
This mystery had to be solved. If I had to buy new underwear every month, that would cost me more than I wanted it to cost me. So I hid myself behind the curtains, holding my flashlight, watching if I saw any movements towards my underwear. But I could not keep my eyes open and fell asleep at the window. And yes, the next morning the towels were still there but the rest was gone. All four were missing. When I told my family, they just laughed. “Do you have to walk around without your panties on now?"
My neighbor didn’t have the problem I had. But I didn’t want to wear the same big woolen underwear as my 85 year old neighbor. After being robbed from my underwear for the third time in a row, I decided to go to the police. I imagined how the officer would react if I went in there and told him that my underwear disappeared.
“I want to report my underwear disappearing mysteriously officer”
“Stolen you mean?”
“I guess so; I don’t think it walked out on me by itself. And before I forget, it wasn’t stolen while I was wearing it”
Another officer came to do the “paperwork” on his computer.
It seemed I wasn’t the only one in town whose underwear was taken. What I didn’t know was that they had a suspect. A 52 year old man who liked female underwear more than the female wearing it. The man had just moved to the part of town where I was living because in his old neighborhood he wasn’t welcome anymore. Now the police knew he was at it again.
I went home after I had bought me some new underwear again. Hopefully for the last time and it was.
The police caught the guy two days later while he was sniffing and stealing underwear two blocks away from my place.
He got a fine and that was it. And he moved again. His house seemed to be empty after three weeks I’d been told. So every woman hangs her strings, boxers, hipsters or knickers outside again. Finally the lingerie was safe.
Four weeks later I got a call from my mom. “You won’t believe what is happening to your cousin now. Somebody is stealing her underwear”
Oh dear cousin, do you have to walk around without your panties on?
I guess I know now were the guy moved at.