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The questions in my head

Updated on June 30, 2011

Why do I walk this path of pain?

Will I ever again be sane?

I ask myself these questions all the time.


Why did this man pick on me?

Is there something in me I can’t see?

I ask myself these questions all the time.


Why did I not run away?

And not become this monsters prey.

I ask myself this question all the time.


Why did I carry the guilt and shame?

It really wasn’t me to blame.

I ask myself this question all the time.


Why did I not report his crime?

And let the peado do his time.

I ask myself this question all the time.


Why has it taken me forty years?

And all the nightmares and the fears.

To finally report this monster’s crime.


I had finally had enough of carrying the demons in my head.

I know I should have done this years ago, but hopefully now I can get some closure.

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    • lyndre profile image
      Author

      lyndre 5 years ago from Scotland

      Thanks Epi.Forty years was a long time to carry guilt that was not mine.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      ...you speak so honestly and so vividly with your words my friend - and it's that very spontaneous style which makes this confessional narrative a very raw and unforgettable experience .......lake erie time ontario canada 4:50pm

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 5 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Thank you for such a moving piece of your heart, lyndre. Your words convey a courage many only wish they had. I am incredibly proud of you-and know it doesn't help to beat yourself up with regret and 'what-ifs.' You simply needed the time to process, then act on the horrors of the past.

      Well done!

    • lyndre profile image
      Author

      lyndre 5 years ago from Scotland

      Hi Diana

      Glad I finally got the courage to go to the police.

      At least now he knows I have finally spoken out.

    • DTroth profile image

      Diana Owens 5 years ago from My Little Hole In The Wall, HubPages, USA

      Hi Lyndre...

      I feel your pain. I feel your shame. I feel your heartache. I feel your blame. Please know that you are NOT alone! There are so many of us out there.

      It's never too late to heal. I'm glad you had the strength and courage to finally end your suffering.

      Much love and prayers and virtual hugs to you!

      May peace be in your heart and soul...always,

      Diana

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