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A voice never to be heard.
It was a warm night and the room was quiet. The light bulb was flickering and the soft winds gently passed through the air. There was an aura of regret lying between us as we both looked at the ceiling. Struggling to make conversation, we end the night with a peck on the lips and our backs turned wishing we were somewhere else.
Sometimes I would watch you sleep as the skies became clear and the mystic moon appeared. Such a peaceful sight it was seeing you lay there with a cheeky grin. Your heartbeat was as calm as the night. I wondered what you dreamt about but you never did tell me.... just the constant shrugging of shoulders, and the minimal eye contact was enough for me to know that she probably had blonde hair, olive skin and pleased you more than I ever did.
Sunset came and it was back to our usual routine; out of bed greeted by a fake smile, racing against time to get dressed, and the unwanted conversation while we sat at the breakfast table sipping on a cup of tea...
The toast was burnt and layered with a thick black crust, the clock seemed to have its own agenda behaving more suspicious every time we looked up.You leaned over for a hug and i wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry although reluctantly I accept it. There was no better feeling than being wrapped around your arms,no one understood me like you did .
Trying to hold, on a part of me wishes to relive this moment but I’m forced back into reality, and welcomed by the emptiness and heartache we called home. With out a second to waste I rush to the door and wave as you leave for work, but as you walked onwards there was something different. You were leaving me, in search for a new beginning, a new life, a life without me....
Distraught and feeling the lowest i've ever felt I look to the skies to find an answer,only to find the soft gentle winds brushing against my cheeks. For a second it felt like your lips had touched me but that was just wishful thinking.The truth is I felt unwanted like an old cassette player being brushed aside awaiting the arrival of a new savvy device to take its place.
I couldn't face going back indoors so i watched you as you drove off, hoping that your car would breakdown and the tyres give way. Some would say i was being selfish and i guess was.So i curled up in the middle of the bed on top of the duvet wondering if you will ever come home, but the interference of dust surfacing on the cupboards and wardrobe had now giving me the urge to clean.
Despite all the clutter that was evolving, I took it upon myself to write you a letter, but being alone in this house became ever more present and i was terrified. So I sit by the window unconvinced by the love and cruel towards mankind. For I knew that just like a dying tree without a voice to spear i was alone and nobody cared.