Theory of a Ghost
I awoke as merely a light in the ceiling of a medical room. It was as though I were a camera in a dream. The image that lay before me was an ill man who lay unconscious in a hospital bed. I felt somehow tethered to this man as if by some invisible leash. By the appearance of his skin, the light greying in his otherwise dark hair, and the aging in his face, it would seem the man was in his fifty's. Sitting beside his bed to the right of my top down point of view, was a middle aged blonde woman sobbing into his left hand as she held it. It was then that I felt my tether tighten and I noticed the mans grip tighten to her hands. Then as suddenly as the feeling came, it left, and my tether became unbound. All light suddenly vanished to the sound of a heart monitor flat lining.
The sound continued to ring and permeate through my essence while I felt myself being sucked through a vacuum. The force on my energy felt so powerful it was as if I were falling, or being pulled at the speed of light. When it was over, the ring of the flat line faded and I burst as a great white light into the expanse of the universe. I then felt weightless among the stars, floating through nothing in awe of my surroundings. It occurred to me at that moment that I knew nothing. In fact it would seem that I was nothing. Who was I and what is my existence? Was this a dream? No, it didn't seem so. I would not, and could not wake from this. If I did wake up, what would I wake up to? I had no memory. I began to panic, and as I did I tried to move. I could feel my energy grow, and as it grew I felt myself filling out into a body. Upon examination I grew to be humanoid with two arms and two legs but was I real? I appeared even to myself to be empty, like a phantom. I could feel my energy flow through this body, but I lacked any kind of defined color or true structure. As I grasped for answers they came, almost all at once. In an attempt to understand myself and what I was, I quickly became able to form the definitions and answers to my questions on my own. I was astral, a floating consciousness of the universe but why? That was a question I could not answer.
Knowing that I was merely a ghost what could I do? Are there more like me out here in space that I cannot see? Asking myself these questions, I could feel ribbons of energy connecting me to what could only be descried as the fabric of space. I could feel their connection to me, but those energies seemed to extend to almost no end. It became understood to my consciousness, that these ribbons were an extension of my own energy, stretching out and connecting to a vast grid of strings, that must fill the whole of the universe in which I reside. Once I reached that conclusion, I was able to map the entirety of the space around me. What I found as a result, was that my universe was expanding, contracting, folding, and was both convex and concave. My space was fourth dimensional and it was breathing.
Feeling through this space, I could feel many different types of energy connected to it. I then began to explore my space. At first I would focus on the most powerful energies I could feel. My astral body would then break down to a bolt of empty light, and fly through the folds and strings of space to those sources. Those sources at the beginning of my search through space were massive dark stars and black holes. As I continued my search, focusing on less and less powerful energies, I noticed I was simply flying through, and to, points of gravitational mass. Now that I understood what I could feel so far, what is it that I want to know, and what specifically am I searching for?
At this point, all concept of time was meaningless. I had no idea how long it had been since I woke in that hospital room or how long this would last. I realized after I understood more of what I was, that I wanted to know who the man in that room was, and why was that the first and only thing I could remember before my energy got blasted into space? As I dwelt on this question, I could remember what it felt like to be tethered to that man. I could feel the man's despair and it was cold, but it did have signature to it. It was a specific feeling of energy that seemed to be the culmination of his life to that moment. Reaching out to this feeling and energy, I dissipated then appeared in the middle of a roaring metropolitan city. In front of me stood the same woman from the hospital that was holding the mans hand, only she must be at least 30 years younger.
"Will you marry me and love me for all time?" Rang a mans voice through me.
"Yes, of course I will my sweet Lucian!" The woman answered, seemingly looking right through me.
I turned around to look for the man speaking, and I had been standing directly where he was. Then as I noticed his face, it was the same man from the hospital. He was a good looking man, with a clean shave and dark hair. I knew it was him but what happened to him?
I whisked away to more moments in Lucian's life, discovering not only the truths of his life, but that I was moving through time as well as space. Observing the timeline of this mans life I came to learn, that he married a woman named Kari Ann and had a daughter named Sophia. While observing Lucian's life I became able to fine tune how I moved through space time. No longer did I sporadically jump to points in space and time, but I could I actually focus and harness my energy to go where I wanted to go. While experimenting with this ability, I could view Lucian's life through many points of view. I could move seamlessly between first person and third person points of view, or even a birds eye view of any moment I chose. I saw Lucian's divorce, his childhood, and even what led to his death. Lucian's childhood through teenage years were quite empty. His mother died giving birth. His father was a poor man with no family, and in his pursuit to take care of Lucian he would not sleep. He would pay a nanny to care for Lucian as he worked twelve or more hours a day to pay for her. When he came home he would not sleep as to spend time with Lucian and care for him. Through the depression of loss of Lucian's mother, lack of sleep, and over exertion of work, Lucian's father died of a heart attack when Lucian was barely a year old. Lucian was put up for adoption and was adopted into a wealthy family. Sadly this was a family he hardly ever saw as he got older. Lucian grew up as the only child in the house and was privately tutored. This led Lucian to have a very elaborate imagination. In his teenage years he still found it difficult to make friends. Lucian did eventually make it to college and his social woes became a thing of the past as he became very well liked as a young adult. When he met Kari Ann those became the happiest years of his life. After their wedding, Kari Ann gave birth to their daughter Sophia. As fate would have it however, Sophia died as they were hit by a drunk driver on their way home from the hospital. Depression set in on both Kari Ann and Lucian. During this time Lucian became obsessed with various religions and philosophies. This pursuit would never end for Lucian even though Kari Ann eventually did come to terms with their loss. Lucian's obsession with seeking a way to find and speak to either ghosts or god made him crazy. This is what eventually led to his divorce as Kari Ann was ready to move on. After the divorce, Lucian went even deeper into his madness and began chain smoking as he read every book he could find on God. He even dove into the occult for a time, searching for ways to bring his daughter back from the dead even as a ghost. Every night he would lie awake trying to meditate his way into the past to prevent his most tragic event.
As the years went on he finally gave up on his pursuit and did everything he could to try and win back the heart of Kari Ann. Kari Ann having never remarried did agree to take him back. They spent the next several years happily together until one night Lucian was rushed to the hospital and it was discovered he was in the very late stages of lung cancer. Lucian knew for sometime that there was something wrong and did everything to hide it. By the time Kari Ann did something about it, it was too late. While in the care of the hospital Lucian fell temporarily into a coma. When he awoke he looked at Kari Ann with loving eyes and said, "I know the answers."
After he exhaled his last breath there I was; A light in the ceiling. Now I had the answers. In his coma he saw me and he knew as I know now. He is me and I am him.