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There Once Was A Who From Where? Nantucket Limericks-ish (Part 2)

Updated on June 27, 2013

Continued...

Georgia


There once was a lady from Georgia

Who found no need in going to spa

Sweet, she would seem

Smelling of peaches and cream

But boy, all the flies it would draw!




Hawaii



There once was a girl from Hawaii

Whose grass skirt barely covered her knees

The boys soon figured out

What life’s all about

When the wind blew in from tsunamis





Idaho



There once was a man from Idaho

Who was a busy gigolo

He did not get paid

When he got laid

‘Cause he was a not-for-profit ho

Illinois


There once was a girl from Illinois

Who played with only girls, never boys

Until one day

When out at play

She saw the boys have better toys!


Indiana



There once was a man from Indiana

Who plunked away on the keys of his piana

His banjo; he stopped strummin’,

And her tears kept on comin’

When enough was enough, yelled Oh Susanna!



Iowa


There once was a man from Iowa

Who had him a great friend, he called Noah.

The man had his share

Of pets by the pair

‘Cept them rabbits; he just couldn’t slowa!



Kansas


There once was a girl from Kansas

Who found herself in distress

When her house blew away

One very sad day

She still cries that she is now Toto-less


Kentucky



There once was a man from Kentucky

Who most guys considered quite lucky

When traveling to Asia

Found everyone pays ya

Instead of charging yen for a sucky

Louisiana




There once was a man from Louisiana

Whose pee smelled like Tropicana

Oranges really?

That seems kind of silly

Since his winky looks like a banana.

Maine



There once was a lady from Maine

Whose neighbors considered insane

She thought she was free

To be whom she be

And always walked naked in rain

There once was a who from where?

Favorite?

See results

To be continued... unless I should stop while I'm ahead?

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    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 2 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      One of my favorite Hub forms.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      MizBejabbers,

      Well, I must be simple minded too, 'cause I like writing 'em! Ha ha... Sometimes trying to think of a rhyme hurts me brain, but I know it'll be over soon :D

      Oh my gosh! Thank you :D

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 4 years ago

      Somehow I missed this one and I'm glad to be catchin' up. I don't know which was my favorite, Idaho or Louisiana, but they were all funny. Limericks gotta be my favorite poetry in the whole world, cause I'm simple minded, I guess. Loved it. Up, up, up!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Lol... I like spinach regardless how fresh it is! lol

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 4 years ago

      Oh, my, how embarrassing! Spinach will be spoiled by now.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      shan, you're too good to me! lol... in all fairness, I really ought find the hubs you did before I found you! Imagine what I've missed, just think of all the spinanch? lol

      I'll be snooping around :D

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 4 years ago

      Gee, how'd I miss these. NOw I gotta go read part one, too! I read some of your older stuff I"d thought. . .

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Oh Ed, you're too funny! I would never be mean to you and the only screaming I'd be doing is "Honey, get your buns over here and share this ice cream with me!" :-) Why, I'd even let you pick the flavor ;-)

      You're the best Ed, thanks for the morning smile!

      Cat

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      There once was a girl from new york

      Can't you hear me scream

      I need a man to go to the store

      and get more Ice cream

      Okay I says I'll be right back

      boy that woman is mean

      What flavor dear ?......hehe

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Ed,

      Hahaha! You should be doing your own limericks... look at you go :-)

      And yes, you do have me eating out of the palm of your hands! ;-)

      You know why I was eating ice cream with a fork? 'Cause this place has knocked all sense right out of me... cuckoo... cuckoo...

      You're too funny! Thanks for the laugh,

      Cat

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      There once was a girl from New York

      who was eating ice cream with a fork

      Along came a handsome stranger

      and asked her if she knew the danger

      He taught her how to sip with a spoon

      before she knew it and pretty soon

      He had her eating from his hand ..........

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      mr-veg,

      Thanks so much buddy, I'm glad I didn't scare you away with my questionable rhyming and "dangerous" choice of words... just get in a funny mood sometimes, but I still have quite a few states to go, so long as nobody shoots me first! Thanks for stopping by!

      Cat

    • mr-veg profile image

      mr-veg 4 years ago from Colorado United States

      Wow you are making it an epic hub out here cat :) I specially love the Hawaiian one, as I got a Hawaiian dancing doll and love to see something related to it in funny way :) and ahan the Louisiana Guy can now enjoy the summer with banana and Orange Juice :)

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      CloudExplorer,

      Gee thank you! I saw stupid and thought "uh oh, someone no likey". I'm glad that wasn't the case. Hey, your style is hilarious... I'm so going back for more!

      Thanks again!

      Cat

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

      This was so stupid fully :) I had so much fun reading it, you truly know how to write a nonsense poem. Yup its also a limerick, and I really have no clue what one is, but I tried to write such a thing as you saw in my most recent poetry hub LOL.

      Cool stuff Cantuhearmescream, you are a talented poet/author indeed. I will try to read more hubs from you soon. Nice one thumbs up and sharing!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Dearest Colin,

      No, not speeding again on the autobahn :-) You be careful young man… I don’t want you getting in a fender bender!! You are too generous! I know you have to read some of this with a drunken slur for them to rhyme :-) Hey, what can I say? Aw… you make it worth getting up in the morning!

      What a sight to see… knocking you out of your Justin Bieber pyjamas! I’m guessing you have the matching slippers!? How’s that peeing in a beer bottle working for you? I’ve found that I cannot do it while driving ;-)

      Oh those silly little pussycats of yours… they sure know how to party don’t they? Thanks for starting my day with a big ol’ hurt myself kind of smile! You’re the best Col!

      A good morning smooch from your other kitty!

      Your Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Mhatter99,

      I’ll have to explore Germany then won’t I? ;-)

      Thanks!

      Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      I broke the fookin' speed limit drivin' home on the 'autobahn' with bated breath to get home to you my dearest Cat after night shift work and I must say this is the most gosh darn funny hub of all time.

      There is nothing (and I repeat) nothing better than a funny sexy hot woman who can write limericks like they're going out of style - and it's your style, Miss Honey Bunny, which makes my life worth living.

      You rock me right out of my Justin Bieber pyjamas and have made a man out of me once again .....thank you for this extraordinary laugh fest and yes I didn't make it in time so I had to pee in my empty beer bottle , meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! You are like catnip to me , oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh

      Pussycats are both outside checking out the 'joint' and the half moon is still in the sky as the daybreak is coming up over the lake at 6:13am and I haven't seen anything more beautiful than that (other than when I lose myself in your eyes)

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      I'm from Germany. :)) Good work. Thank you * 2.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Michael,

      Thanks bummer boo! You sure are the best... I'm glad you're not afraid of me. :D

      Cat

    • MichaelJohnMele profile image

      Michael John Mele 4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      You freaking rock! This was awesome and very funny. Keep up the great work and don't dare change anything about yourself...or your writing...it's what makes you great.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      chivs86,

      Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed... I'll have to check out this Rolf Harris character, I am not familiar with him. This is actually part 2, I have the states in alphabetical order and unless people beg me to stop, I plan to continue the rest of the way! Thanks again!

    • chivs86 profile image

      chivs86 4 years ago from Baldock/ Letchworth, Hertfordshire. UK

      I like this hub. Reminds me of a song i like - Rolf Harris - I've been everywhere. But actually though i'd still like to think this is a work in progress. You should write a limerick for every state in the USA

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      R.Q.

      Oh my lanta! You put my limericks to shame... this is too cute! :-)

      I've already been anxious to catch up on your poems I've missed, but now you've really done it! Awesome, thank you for that!

      Cat

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Wonderful Cat

      " There once was a Queen from New York;

      Who once ate her soup with a fork.

      'Twas a three hour dinner,

      There she sat,getting thinner,

      'Cos she never got 'round to the pork. " :)

      No one does 'em quite like you!

      Kind Regards;

      R.Q.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      R.Q.

      Thanks! I know I'm pushing it a little, but I must've figured out how to keep it just safe enough; it's already published. :-) This all started over a comment someone made about the "Nantucket" dude and I was inspired; I can't stop now...

      Andrew Dice Clay is way rougher than this. In my little world, this is funny and the people like me there... in my own world.

      Thanks again... I need to get over and read some more of those beauties you pound out!

      Cat

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Risque,saucy,and cheeky!

      The girl from Hawaii,and the man from Idaho made me giggle,but I reckon you might get some stick for some of the other ones that are a bit too near the knuckle for their taste.

      You are funny and talented though, Cat.Just dust yourself off,and keep going.

      My first Hub didn't even get past the moderators!

      Kind Regards

      Romeos Quill.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Wayne,

      Thanks buddy! Ha, perhaps if I can find myself through all the states without botching them I will do the planets. (My son had to do a project on Uranus this year… let me tell you, I could barely compose myself! There are a lot of interesting facts on Uranus!).

      Thanks again!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Jahmann,

      Thank you so very much! I’m glad you can appreciate my horrible rhyming and odd sense of humor!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Billy,

      Yeah, winky… I was trying to keep it kid-friendly, ya know? Well I hope you have a new appreciation for your winky rather than me ruining it for you ;-) Now that I’m done corrupting HP, I have to get over your way and cleanse myself! Thank you!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Whonu,

      I appreciate you returning and offering nice words… I’m not mad, I understand these are questionable and my sense of humor is not appreciated by everyone… but I can’t please everyone. Sometimes people listen to the serious things I have to say because they’re already hanging around for the jokes… so I’ve found it keeps me in the company of a bigger circle. You have nothing to explain to me, I understood where you were coming from. Thanks again.

      Cat

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      When you're done with States, will you do planets? I would love to hear about Uranus!! : o

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 4 years ago from Reno NV

      These are hilarous and awesome. Jamie

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      His winky???? OMG this was funny. You are so good at this....the banana line had me choking on my tea. Well done, Cat! I will never again be able to look at my winky the same way. LOL

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 4 years ago from United States

      I know from your talents expressed, that you have written more and better poetry. Thanks for being patient with me, for I am under much strain and at times show this on my responses. I did see some of your other work and appreciated it very much. whonu

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      whonunuwho,

      I've eaten soap a time or two. Sorry if I offended you, just my version of funny... I don't believe I was very graphic. You should check out my other hubs... I have plenty on more serious subject matters. I'm sorry you chose this one as the only one you've read, especially considering you don't appreciate my sense of humor. Again, sorry you didn't care for it.

    • whonunuwho profile image

      whonunuwho 4 years ago from United States

      If you were my kid. I would wash out your mouth with soap. It was creative, and I must say, if you spend more time on other subjects, your words would draw a more positive attention and appeal.Tanks for sharing,whonu