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There Once Were These People... You See ~Nantucket Limericks-ish (Part 3)

Updated on June 27, 2013

Maryland


There once was a man from Maryland

Who read him a limerick and grinned

He broke him a tack

As a matter of fact

When to his computer, he actually pinned!

Massachuesetts


There once was a man from Massachusetts

Who found himself full of regrets

He wasn’t that smart

When taking air conditioner apart

And now he breaks out into night sweats.

Michigan

There once was a man from Michigan

Who had himself quite a large chin

When short skirts the girls wore

His jaw, already on floor

So needn’t pick it back up agin

Minnesota


There once was a man from Minnesota

Who taught a few classes of yoga

Till one lady did shout

When everything fell out

Of his not so gym-friendly toga

Mississippi


There once was a lady from Mississippi

She fell in love with and married a hippie

Love was free, everyday

‘Cept when dearly he’d pay

To his wife, on days, he was lippy.

Missouri



There once was a man from Missouri

Who fell out of love in a hurry

When wife convicted of crime

He got away just in time

As she hung the whole fruity jury!

Montana



There once was a man from Montana

Who married a princess, Diana

Though her behavior, not royal

When found dishes he’d soil

She’d beat the poor man with a pana!

Nebraska


There once was a man from Nebraska

Who frequently, to the ladies, he’d aska

You know I’m the best?

Better, than all the rest!

Just read the words on my flaska!

Nevada

There once was a man from Nevada

Since granny died, he couldn’t be sadda’

From Boston she came

But it wasn’t the same

When from dark shadows she’d ask ‘What’s a matta?’

New Hampshire


There once was a man from New Hampshire

Who searched the world over for a cure

Though not considered diseased

He often peed when he sneezed

Me thinks it’s from all of that liqueur!

There once were these people, you see.

Favorite?

See results

Who says you can't make up your own words?

I'm going to keep going until somebody stops me!

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    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      I clearly missed something since I'm reading part 3! But this was funny as heck, Cat! I'm sharing this for sure! Voted it up across the board! :D

    • rose-the planner profile image

      rose-the planner 3 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Definitely Minnesota and Mississippi, lol! This was so entertaining and clever! Thanks for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      My clever little friend, thanks for the funnies tonight. :)

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      writinglover,

      My dear little friend! Ha ha... I think I had the others before I found you! Thank you... I'm glad you can appreciate my ability to use non-existent words... lol.

      I've thought of those sad eyes and awesome story all day... I will be there soon! :D

      Thanks again girly!

      Cat

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Take your time, my friend! :D

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Thank you Rose! Maybe after I bumble my way through the rest of the states I'll make an attempt at Canada :D I apologize in advance for my Canadian assault! lol

      Thanks a lot!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      shan!!!

      Hey sissy! Now that I've finally got this out of the way and my brain is starting to cool down... I can find you :D

      Thank you... I always love seeing my sis!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      writinglover,

      I will not! lol

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 3 years ago from Texas

      Aw, sister dear, love seeing you too! I actually just sent you an email right before your hub notification came in. :-p

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      LOL!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Shan... got it and sent you one back :D

      writinglover aka FLASH aka Wonder Woman! Gotta be the coffee? lol

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 3 years ago from TEXAS

      It takes real talent to make limericks - and so many good ones, too!

      (I'm afraid I joined up well after the earlier 2 parts, too! Now I know!)

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      @Cat! Yep it's the coffee!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Nellianna!

      Oh, my lovely and intuitive friend! ... that reminds me, I haven't been back your way since I left a comment :p

      I really appreciate the compliment... especially considering I have to bend some literary rules to accommodate my limericks... ha ha! Some states are just very hard to rhyme with! lol

      Thank you nice lady!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      writinglover,

      I figured... that's why I just got some :D ... hopefully I'll be bouncing off hubwalls soon :D

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      hehehe, Oh me, how clever and hilarious!!! You are a great limerick writer no doubt, dearest Cat. All are great, but Michigan and Minnesota are over the top! LOL

      Thanks for the laughs this evening.

      Voted up +++ and sharing

      Hugs, Faith Reaper

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Oh dearest, beautiful Faith Reaper,

      You're so good to me! lol... You are like a butterfly with angels wings and I always get a kick out of you finding silly things humorous. (Leads back to that intimidation factor)

      I have to admit... just seeing your face and the hehehe made me laugh! Thank you for that!

      Hugs,

      Cat

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 3 years ago from San Francisco

      You have my seal of approval. I appreciate how hard this was. thank you

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Mhatter99,

      Wow, you just made my night... maybe even my week. I just took cover for a moment before building up the courage to come over here when I saw your name come through. I know who the King of the Limericks is... and I couldn't be more honored!

      Thank you Martin,

      Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 3 years ago

      Me just left a standard Epi comment here - but it fookin' disappeared , oh well, I sent you some Puddytat pictures and me is home safe from work and hiding out from the fookin' human race, lol, once again.

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 3 years ago from Morocco

      Hilarious !You have a good sense of humor !!! Thanks for these limericks .Voted up!

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      Hahaha, you are creative. I'm glad you make up your own words, because these are amusing! Thanks for giving me a few laughs, and sharing this with us.

      It is super foggy here in Boston... again. It is pretty, but almost spooky.

      Have a wonderful weekend!

      ~ Kathryn

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Clever, funny and filled with Cat. I loved them all and thank you for a good, morning laugh.

      bill

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 3 years ago from TEXAS

      Your work is always truly entertaining, m'dear - whatever genre or mood! Hugs

    • vandynegl profile image

      vandynegl 3 years ago from Ohio Valley

      A good, and much needed laugh! :)

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Colin! Ha ha… well what’d they do with it? Why must I be punished? Puddytats you say? My favorite!!! Me thanks you! Hiding… ha ha ha… me too! Glad you’re home safe and sound my friend!

      Say hello to the furballs!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      James,

      Aww, I’m so glad you find my sense of humor healthy… some are just scared! lol… thanks dear friend!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Kathryn,

      Okay, I have to admit, some of these really hurt my brain! Lol… not every word rhymes with something! I have yet to get a tomato to the head for breaking the rules! lol

      Foggy? Watch out for what lurks in the fog! … we’ve had a bunch of rain and flooding! I’m asking Mr. Sun to come out and play today!

      You have a wonderful weekend yourself!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Billy,

      Ha ha… filled with Cat, sad thing is; I’m guessing you’re starting to understand my language! :D

      I thought I caught a picture of Gandhi this morning… I’ll be looking for him shortly!

      Thanks Billy,

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Nellieanna,

      You my dear, are too kind! What a compliment from such a wonderfully talented lady! I will be exploring your muse soon! Thank you deary,

      Hugs,

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      vandynegl

      I’m always so happy to see you!!! I’m glad I made you laugh… I’ll have to come by your way later and treat myself to a good laugh too!

      Thanks again, sweetie pie!

      Cat

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      You know what, Cat? It was rainy and cloudy all day until about 30 minutes ago. The sun started peeking, and now I see at least 1/3 blue skies. I'm not sure if it will stay partly sunny, but it makes me happy!

    • Patriot Quest profile image

      Wayne Joel Bushong 3 years ago from America

      Oklahoma nor Texas was on the list so I couldn't vote?????

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Sweet! I'd take partly sunny! Sure beats partly cloudy right? lol... I see the sun trying to peak its head out here, which is bittersweet. I want him to come out, but if he comes out and stays out... I've got work to do out there! lol

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Patriot Quest!

      Ha ha ha! I'm going in alphabetical order... lol. They should make it into the next one! I'll have to pay particular attention to those states, as to not disappoint! :D

      Thanks!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 3 years ago

      Yes I submitted a comment earlier that you and Martin are now the true King and Queen of the Limerick at the Hub - and the limerick which I wrote to you 'mysteriously disappeared' I guess because it was quite naughty (as limericks should be)

      If I remember the lines I will send it to you Cat but in the meantime I am off for the weekend and I just brought home a shiteload of cat food for my lucky furballs and some haggis and black pudding for me and some nice steak and mushroom pies and some scone rolls so c'mon over Cat let's eat.

      Thank you for this wonderful limerick series too - I think the next one you could do is the countries of the world, lol.

      And it's a testament to your popularity and god given talent as a beautiful woman who can write like all 4 winds blowing at one - just look at the outpouring of acclaim and affection from all of your readers, including moi!!!! (that's French for Canadian hottie, lol)

      lake erie time 8:28pm

      and all three of us bow to you with hands and paws stretched outward.

      p.s. - now that I think about it I may have deleted my own comment when I was 'editing' it , whoops. lol

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Oh me awfully gracious Colin!

      You really are too kind... I'm telling ya! I'm sorry that you wasted time typing something that disappeared. That happens to me quite frequently and I'd like to throw my computer against the wall... lol.

      I did rearrange some of my earlier limericks as I think they were not clean enough for some people's tastes... lol, another day, another missing follower! lol Eh, what'ya gonna do?

      Sounds like quite the meal you have there... if only I had a good couple of paddles... lol oh and a raft might help! (Not to mention, I'm not sure which of the two Lakes separate us, I'd hate to think I'd swim across the wrong one! lol... that'd be me!

      I can't touch Mhatter or you for that matter... but I'm happy just following you awfully cool dudes around ;-)

      I do very much appreciate all the people on this page... and then some. What a feeling to have some seriously wonderful people give up their precious time to grace a little humble page. I'm honored and lucky! (I'm sure they'll forget about me tomorrow... lol)

      Oh... I sure hope you enjoy your weekend Colin, you most certainly deserve it... and let the sunshine down!

      Hugs and curtsies to you and your clan!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      The man from Minnesota took my fancy and the majority of your readers who voted in the poll agreed. That poetic description of his unreliable toga paints a word picture that is difficult to forget. Trust me. Thanks for the chuckles, m'dear.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      drbj,

      Ha ha... sometimes I don't find something I've done nearly as funny until someone has commented on it... you just had me laughing!

      (It's kind of sad though, I hadn't even realized until after I published it that ota and oga don't rhyme... lol! What's done is done! I'm not changing it now and I haven't gotten any tomatoes upside the head! :D )

      Thanks a bunch... always appreciate the support from a comic genius!

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Funny stuff Citty Cat...hope you keep going with this series.

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 3 years ago

      I love-A you! lol

      This was absolutely hilarious-A!

      You never fail to make me smile and lift the spirits-A!

      sharing-A..

      lolA...

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Wayne,

      Why do I feel like you think I must've ate led paint chips growing up? lol... Of course I'm going to keep going... nobody's told me to stop yet! They must be scared! Ha ha!

      Thanks a lot!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Leslie,

      Are you picking on me or speaking my language? Ha ha... I almost couldn't understand it without all the f**ing lovely adjectives you're missing :D

      Thank you pretty lady!

      I love-a ya too!

      Cat

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 3 years ago

      Definitely New Hampshire! he reminds me of my ex. But my ex is from Texas, so what the heck! Sounds like a country song or the making of a limerick.

      The tall skinny is my ex

      But my ex is from Texas

      Too much he drunk

      And the pee did plunk

      So I laid on him some hexes

      Anyway, keep on with your delirious funnies, you multitalented lady. I love the laughs. Your cartoons are good, too. Voted this here one up and funny!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      MizBejabbers,

      Aw... she says I'm full of talent!

      Leaves such lovely comment.

      She has such a good spirit

      Dealing with rum-sucking pirate

      Who can't swim, with feet in cement!

      Okay... I couldn't help it... you encouraged me!

      Thank you very much nice lady friend!

      Cat

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      Okay my lady !

      There once was a man from Vermont

      Oh boy I can't wait to read this one , Be nice smiley !........Hugs!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      There once was a man from Vermont

      Who could have any old friend that he want

      He gives love to his Cat

      Whatcha think about that?

      She types I LOVE HIM TOO in size 500 font!

      It's the best I can do... lol! There'll be a new one waiting for ya when I get to Vermont for real! :D

      Vermont you say? Hmmm... I'm on my way to MapQuest now!

      Hugs!

      Cat

    • mr-veg profile image

      mr-veg 3 years ago from Colorado United States

      Full of fun you are and make everyone Laugh, Cat you are admirable and what else I can say other than to Laugh :) It was nice and funny Cat, Peed when he sneezed, got me rolling :D....

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 3 years ago

      Cat , Now that's awesome ! As you are Too , come on up !/..............Huggy bear !

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      mr-veg,

      Thank you buddy.. I'm always so happy to see you! Well, laughter makes the world go 'round... or so I hope! I'd much rather be laughing than crying, both of which I can do at any given moment! lol

      Thanks for coming by darling!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      Ed, thank goodness for unconditional love huh? It's like chicken-scratch in crayons and you say 'Good girl, Ed's proud of you!' .... lol!

      Since I took off camping without telling ya, I guess I'll have to start packing for my trip through the mountains now! lol

      Hugs,

      Cat

    • mythbuster profile image

      mythbuster 3 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      Entertaining and fun. I like the limerick with Nevada in it. Thanks for sharing these limericks... they've made me smile! Oh... except now I have a head echo sort of thing going on, more of a limerick rhythm thing and I think my sentences are going to start coming out as limericks... hmmm what rhymes with "research paper" (that I am supposed to be working on right now lol)?

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 3 years ago from New York

      mythbuster,

      Well, thank you very much! I'm glad that you're not holding against me, my invented words.... ha ha! I'm so glad I could make you smile; some people are just scared :D

      Poor mythbuster had due an assignment

      But him came to my pages to comment

      Now, instead of good grade

      A new friend he made

      But he couldn't find time better well spent!

      Hey, trust me... I know the feeling! Good luck on that paper... and here's to getting an A!

      Thanks for the visit!

      Cat

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