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These Things Hidden

Updated on March 8, 2012

You may not who I am but I created your life... You’re probably wondering how right? Well it all began on a busy afternoon stuck in traffic after work. The radio was on and the window was rolled down just enough for the misty winds to creep in.

It was one of those days where nothing seemed to be going my way. One of the associates at the firm had torn into me in the boardroom meeting; apparently I wasn't cut out for the senior role. Still stuck in the car I contemplate whether to walk out and find the nearest bar. Truth be told, swimming in an ocean of whisky didn't seem too bad.

Although to be fair having a handful of angry drivers breathing down my neck wasn't such a good idea, so I sit back clutching the seat belt hoping for this day to end. Arriving to the traffic lights I sit there like an object with no reason to live, but just barely passing through the current tides. It was at that moment… I met your mother.

She was a real beauty, she walked past and all the guys couldn't seem to take their eyes off her, funny enough I couldn't either. The only difference was that she only had eyes for me. I'd never seen such an angel grace the earth like she did; your mother was a saint.

Everyday together was like the first time; the silent moments just staring into each other’s eyes, the accelerated heart rate, and the constant sweaty palms caused by over excitement .We travelled around the world exploring new cultures and cuisines, and after years of acting like two teenagers we finally got married. I never will forget that day.

You would have loved it; there were so many people that day. Friends, and families all came bearing gifts. Till this day I still haven't seen half of them. The cake was enormous too, it had so many layers.There was chocolate with a sugar icing on top, and a smooth strawberry jam in the middle. You wouldn't believe how your uncle Joe kept on going for seconds. You would have thought he was the one getting married.

Buying our first home was quite magical too; I never could picture myself living with someone else. It’s weird how things turn out. I remember when I was painting the hallway; your mum would sit there and laugh uncontrollably at my efforts she was such a bully...

I couldn't forget the weekends; the guys would come around and watch the game while the women were in the kitchen, gossiping about who kissed who and who was up to no good. We never did pay them any attention, just the smooth cold beverages and the roasted peanuts were more entertaining. Such great times we had....

A couple of weeks passed, and i wasn't feeling too great. My back was always hurting, and I was getting reoccurring migraines like my brain was on overdrive. Your mum thought I was playing a prank on her; I use to do those a lot. Unfortunately that wasn't the case, and the comical smile she had slowly disappeared .

I hated going to the doctors, they never brought anyone good news .It was as if they were grim reapers wearing a white blazer with shiny teeth, wearing white glasses and carrying extra minty gum.Walking towards the door was nerve wrenching. All I could do was just hope it wasn't anything too serious. We sat there holding hands while waiting for him to come and deliver his verdict. His face was cold and his hands were twitching,the room was quiet and everything became still. All I could do was keep my head down ignoring the word cancer and pretending I just caught the common flu.

The house was quiet, and our backs were turned with nothing to say. There wasn't a single word in the dictionary that could describe the dire feeling that was becoming more ever present. Your mother tried to focus her attentions on cleaning ; it helped take her mind off things, well me to be honest. She didn't mean to be rude; she just didn't know how to deal with it.

Our friends didn't come around that much, and looking out the window was my only form of being close to the real world. Just watching the trees sway from left to right bring a sense of peace .My body was giving up on me and the fight back ceased to exist.

Months later and I seemed to be getting progressively worse. Popping pills and staying in bed watching silly soaps was becoming my daily routine. Strangely enough, your mother was becoming more distant towards me. She would wait until i would fall asleep, and slowly tip toe downstairs. Still weary if anyone was looking, she would quietly smoke a pack of cigarettes while indulging herself with a bottle of whisky. I couldn't understand why she was behaving like this. I guess I never knew how hard it was for her to see me in such a state.

There were nights when I tried praying. I wasn't a firm believer, but i always felt there was someone looking over me. I usually started off by going on my knees and closing my eyes, but then i would stop and cry in silence.My whole world was crumbling right in front of me and there was nothing i could do.

Later that night your mother ran upstairs and told me that you were on the way. I'd never felt so much joy. Despite all the pain and heartache we were going through, you was coming. Your arrival was dream coming true.

There was so much excitement, your mother and I couldn't stop thinking of what name to call you. She picked up the phone and called all her friends sharing to them all the great news and that was when it hit me... I may never get the chance to see you.

So here I am writing you this letter, and I pray that you never get to read this...but if you do, I just want you to know that i'll be watching you up and above in the skies. When you grow up my child, just know i will be there in the winds and in the air protecting you always.

You must hate me don’t you? I hate myself too. I never meant to miss out on your birthdays or your first day of school. I tried ever so much to make it through but I just couldn't. Some day we will meet again but until then,please stay strong .Your destiny is far much more greater than mine.

Please take care of your mum, I know she can be annoying at times but that's just her way of showing how much she loves you. Don’t do drugs or get into any criminal activity too, that could really harm your chances of going to university. Be kind and loving to others, and if you ever feel down, just look up to the skies and call on me. I will always protect you my child.

Lots of love from Dad .

Comments

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    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Thank you idsadoras for reading this hub. Stay in touch :)

    • IsadorasThought profile image

      IsadorasThought 

      6 years ago

      Very very moving. Thank you for sharing.

    • snowdrops profile image

      snowdrops 

      6 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

      Eman, this is really a touching story. I love your writings.

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Thank you suzette i really do appreciate your comments.This was quite a tuff thing to write about but im glad i did. I'm just happy that i was able to tell it in a way that made you wanted to read more.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 

      6 years ago from Taos, NM

      Wow! This was heart-wrenching! I honestly didn't realize I was reading a letter until the end. This really blew me away. Great story and so poignant. You are quite the story teller!

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      I'm telling you mate this was a tuff one to write about but i had to explore this emotion i was feeling when i was writing this.

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 

      6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Oh.My.God. I'm just sitting and weeping here. You monster, such an awesome tough, sincere, deep, heart-wrenching story! I know there is a bit of hope but heck. Oh, geez, where is that box of Kleenex. darn.

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Thanks Tireless its nice to meet you too :)

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Thanks Tina for the taking the time to read my story. Your comments are fab and im glad you enjoyed this peice:)

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Faith Reaper thank you for your amazing comments. I'm so happy you was able to connect with this story, it means a lot that you took the time this read this peice. Stay in touch faith there's much more to come:)

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Faith Reaper thank you for your amazing comments. I'm so happy you was able to connect with this story, it means a lot that you took the time this read this peice. Stay in touch faith there's much more to come:)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      6 years ago from southern USA

      You are truly a gifted writer. This is an excellent, excellent piece. Very profound indeed! Voted up across the board. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • Tina Hope profile image

      Tina Hope 

      6 years ago from UK

      Beautiful! I really enjoyed reading this hub, it's very touching..

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 

      6 years ago from California

      Good job. Nice to meet you.

    • profile image

      TJ 

      6 years ago

      Love this amongst others, would love to see it visually!

    • MsTarrah profile image

      MsTarrah 

      6 years ago

      Yes that's a perfect preview for a novel. But the way it was written, it can also stand alone. I enjoyed that. I am having fun looking at the creative process of other writers. I WILL stay tuned :)

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Hey Tarrah thank you for the taking the time to read this story, I'm so glad you liked it.Being a love letter i didn't want to go over do it but i do feel it would make a fantastic novel so that will be on the way so stay tuned. :)

    • MsTarrah profile image

      MsTarrah 

      6 years ago

      I was drawn into this story. I love how it's a summary that initially felt rushed, only to find out it was a love letter. I was thinking, "I wish the story was more detailed" but it all made sense at the end when I realize it's a letter!

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Hey Princess thanks for taking the time to read this hub. My intentions was to keep this as a short story but as i went along writing, i was able to see that there was so much to venture on so im defintely going to take it on to the next level. lol and yes i checked the spelling and grammor but as usual theres always one lurking around somewhere but i've nipped it in the bud now lool. Thanks princess for commenting much love .

    • Princess Prisca profile image

      Princess Prisca 

      6 years ago from Heaven living on Earth

      Eman,

      Thank you for asking me to read and comment on your piece. I find it to be beautiful, sad and exactly what a child should have from a deceased parent.

      I felt happy and sad while reading it, but the ending put a bitter sweet smile on my face.

      Great Job!

      (Proof read and catch spelling and grammar errors, this is important so the reader can fully enjoy your work without having to guess about what you really meant to say.)

      I agree with VirginiaLynne, I would like to see you develop the story just a little further ~ what type of life does this little girl grow up to have? Also, what changes, if any did the mother make? (You may even have the beginnings of a novel on your hands Eman)

      Blessings!

      Ciao...Princess Prisca

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Evylyn thank you for taking the time and reading this hub. Your comments are appreciated and i'm thankful.

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Sunnie honestly you would think that i'm such a depressing guy lol. I just want the world to see that if you put aside the meaningless things that go on about then maybe we can embrace the important things that matter and love one and another

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Wellsjam i am truely sorry for your loss. When i was writing this i too felt like crying. I just wanted to show that there are things in life we complain about which really need to be becausce the most important things like family and ones health and love are what we should be striving for . If we could try and put our differences aside between our love ones and just embrace them then maybe our lives we feel much happier .

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 

      6 years ago

      Wow this story is packed with much emotion. Brought a little tear as I read this. It is someone's story somewhere for sure. You have touched the pulse of humanity..you seem to have such a way of writing the emotions down on the page. Another wonderful hub!

    • wellsjsam profile image

      wellsjsam 

      6 years ago from Oakfield, New York

      This honestly brought tears to my eyes. It made me think of my mother who passed away from cancer, and what she may have said to her great-grandchildren, who sadly never had the chance to know her. She was just the grandma who lived in the nursing home. This sounds like a powerful and highly emotional story that you are writing. It has to also be difficult to write at times. Thank you for sharing.

    • Evylyn Rose profile image

      Evylyn Rose 

      6 years ago from Virginia, USA

      Beautiful hub! Thank you for sending me over to read it. It's a really touching story.

    • The original Eman profile imageAUTHOR

      The original Eman 

      6 years ago from london

      Thanks for commenting on this peice. There was alot of emotional themes being played in this story and i hope you enjoyed reading this too.

    • VirginiaLynne profile image

      Virginia Kearney 

      6 years ago from United States

      I'd love to hear even more development of this story. Be sure to do a careful proofread too--I saw a few spelling errors. The editor on Hubpages is sometimes hard to use, I know.

    • profile image

      Paul Payne 

      6 years ago

      lol, dope

    working

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