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These Will Never Be the Words You Are Looking For

Updated on July 2, 2020
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Alexandra Lang is a 26 year old performer traveling the world, writing about her time around the universe.

I thought writing your name in the most beautiful places might be able to save us, but there was nothing worth saving.
I thought writing your name in the most beautiful places might be able to save us, but there was nothing worth saving.

Is it Reckless to Not be Reckless?

I found out today that it is hard to speak to you in large places.

It could be how the words seem to bounce off the walls, but miss your mind completely.

Or how the words sound when they aren't spoken in a place familiar to us.

Large places are never ideal spaces to speak of love, or the lack there of.

Maybe both of our hearts are too small to handle the idea of an area more expansive than the lifespan of us.

You seem to change your mind more often than the wind changes it's direction; another thing I learned to love.

The pattern of the up and down in our relationship became steadier than you heartbeat; your words at 1 am, even steadier.

But the way you say your words so early in the morning with a sleepy dialect are the words I listen to with the most intense desire for truth.

I search through each syllable with a false hope you always mentioned, trying to find just one that would keep me attached for a little while longer.

You always told me that even the toughest knot could be unraveled.

and on that night, you swore you loved me, while in bed with someone else
and on that night, you swore you loved me, while in bed with someone else
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