Bad manners around the dinner table.
A little dinner history.
In ancient times (thousands of years ago, not just a few decades) eating together around the dinner table was a sign of trust and fellowship. For someone to break bread with you showed dignity, respect, and peace. At the last supper when Jesus handed Judas the piece of bread, he was still trying to show love to a man that was resigned to betraying him. It's said one of the biggest problems in America today is that in general, families don't break bread with each other anymore. Just some food for thought.
Did you really just say that?
I remember several years ago a friend of mine was at dinner with her fiancée. They were eating with her parents who were wanting to get to know the man who was going to marry their little girl. They had a great time talking, enjoying the food and the night was going wonderfully.
And then things got weird.
The parents asked him what it was that attracted him to their daughter. With a straight face he said, "Well honestly, she's got a nice rack!"
(Pause for dramatic effect) And now she's married to someone else (a good buddy of mine). It's rare that you hear of a failure that's less epic!
We've all been there at one time or another. Whether it's been with in-laws, a date, or just family and friends.......there are things that shouldn't be said but yet......still sometimes end up happening.
The fact of the matter is, the tongue can be quite the mischievous little tool. Sometimes, it can't keep itself from blurting out the most embarrassing, sometimes brutally honest thing about a person or situation. Ol' RACK-boy found out the hard way what happens when you don't use common flippin sense!
Things that you would rather keep behind your lips come out into the open for all to see and hear. Then you're faced with that awkward stare......painful.
Here's some examples of things better left unsaid or done. Are there any that you've witnessed personally?
Okay be honest, have you ever said or done something that embarassed you at the dinner table?
Did you really just say that on a date?
- I can't do this anymore. Oh man, how about serving me my steak and mashed potatoes with a side order of ripped out, stomped on heart. (This only applies if the relationship was serious.....if you're heartbroken by this after the first date then I'd suggest therapy.) How about saving this line for somewhere other than the dinner table.
- I'm seeing someone else. Take the thoughts from number 1 about my heart and then stick a fork in it, it's done.
- Someone's hungry! Men, if you say this to a woman while she's got food in her mouth, prepare to be wiping it off your face.....nuff said. Ladies, same goes for you....don't do it.
- Haven't you had enough? This goes along with number 3.
- So how much money do you make? Not a good time for this question as it may signify that you're a gold digger or something worse. Talk about awkward.
- Wow, the toilet's gonna love it when i get home cause this stuff's going right through me! The visual image that's left won't be so easily flushed away.
- Your father/mother and I are divorcing. YAY, who's up for a fat juicy steak now?
- I would've cooked _______ instead. Prepare for battle. Rudeness knows no bonds or bounds.
- TOFU CASSEROLE AGAIN? Read number 2.
- Yeah honey, the food's amazing......but it would be better with a little ______. Why don't you just cook next time. At least you're in control of the ingredients.
- This looks....different. What, does it look so unappetizing that you have to embarrass the cook? Be courteous and try to eat what's put before you.
Things to avoid doing.
- Don't pick your nose. Even if it's a small thing, just grab a napkin.
- Don't pick your nails.
- Don't chew with mouth open, nor talk with food in it.
- Don't slurp your soup.
- If you have gas, take it to the bathroom and unload there. Don't crop dust the folks at the table.
- Watch the burping, make it veryyyyyy discrete if you absolutely have to.
- Excuse yourself before you get up. This one is more in force for dates or very formal dinners.
- Turn off the cell phone. Unless its for emergency purposes, this is one of the rudest things I've ever seen someone do. I've seen people on a date with their facebooks, while on a date with someone else. You can lay it down for a few hours.
Miscellaneous forbidden sayings.
- Whispering. This is considered as rude as people who know English and yet insist on talking in another language in front of you the whole time. Are you talking about me? Are you criticizing the food I cooked? What?!
- So who are you voting for? That's none of your business. The problem with this one is that things can tend to get real heated real quick if you happen to disagree with their choice. Just leave this one alone if at all possible.
- Heard about this disgusting thing that happened? So while you tell the story, everyone's appetites took a hike! Yeah, I wanna hear about something gross while I'm eating.
- Let me tell you the details of my heart surgery. Okay, again......I'm eating. Have a heart will ya?
- What the heck is this? There are ways to find out what something is without blurting out the obvious question. Try using a little tact and figuring out what the word polite means.
- Want me to take that dish for you? This is really only impolite if I'm still eating off of it. Give it time and try not to rush the person.
Alright guys, be honest......who can relate to this? I've seen some of these in action. Heck, I've been the dunderhead who used some of these before like a goon. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and throw out some feedback. Are there any you've seen or heard that you'd like to include?
Kasman will be back with another hub soon!