Not Everything is All About You - My Conversation With a Narcissist
About This Poem
Have you ever tried to get past the self-involved paranoia, of a dyed-in-the-wool full blown narcissist, and attempted to tell them that they are actually NOT the center of the universe?
This poem is a tongue-in-cheek view of one such conversation.
Not Everything is About You
If you'll hold on for just a minute
Maybe take a breathe
I've some advice I'd like to offer up
To make your problems less,
Put an end to some of your headaches,
Relieve some of your stress.
It will only take a second
If you'll just give me a chance,
Try to wrap your mind around it
Take my advice for what it is
If you want a plan to simplify your life,
Just remember this,
Not everything is about you.
I know that it is hard for you to comprehend
How anything just could not be,
(I mean really, you're not the Queen of Sheba)
You're a decent enough person, but you’re not royalty
Cross my heart, I promise, It's not all about you
And no, it is not all about me.
Stop yourself when in the moment
Try hard to imagine the big picture in your head
Now listen to me carefully,
See if you can grasp the words I say.
Sometimes you're not the center of it all
Sometimes you simply cannot have your way
Sometimes it is simply about someone else,
Other people's lives have crisis, sadness, tears
And moments of joy, good news, recognition
The thunder isn't always yours
Every person who gives you a passing glance
Does not feel some underlying kinetic link to you,
Sometimes its nothing but pure chance.
Sometimes it is not your destiny,
Or a message addressed to you from the universe
Sometimes the call is actually for someone else
A coincidence, not a thing that was forecast by the stars
(It would be less traumatic for the rest of us, if you'd stop behaving,
Like some terrestrial transient who has just arrived from Mars.)
Could you repeat the question please?
I don't think I correctly understood,
(Maybe because you keep talking right over me?)
Maybe I did not hear you right,
Yes, Uh-huh, He or she did what?
Yes.. to interrupt someone is very impolite.
No, I didn't agree or disagree with anyone, it couldn't have been me,
I don't think I know them, no, that name doesn't ring a bell.
No, not everyone is talking about you,
Between working, kids, laundry, and Facebook, most of us don't have the time
(And if you weren't currently making me miserable,
I wouldn't even be bothering with this rhyme)
Look, I know how hard this must be to comprehend
That others are oblivious to your drama
(Some of us can only dream….)
But everyone I know is really stretched quite thin,
Too busy worrying about everyday things
Mortgages, car payments, taxes,
And all the other little "gifts" the mailman is sure to bring.
I swear on the grave of my ancestors, there is no conspiracy
(Didn't you hear me say that people don't have that kind of time?)
If you would only listen, I could stop repeating myself
And stop biting my lip to resist the urge to shout
Maybe if I mix it up,
It is not you, that this is about.
Spy on you? You're kidding, Right?
Do I look like some modern day Matta Hari?
No, I don't work for the Competition, the FBI or CIA
I don't spend my time following you around town or the internet
Jotting down all your whereabouts by way of text
(Really, I mean, Who does that?)
So that I can go back and report it to your ex's ex.
I can barely keep track of my keys, and my kids, and my phone
My life is full, my plate, like my cup runneth over
(What I am trying to say, is that I've more important things to do)
My pen is not a camera, my phone is not a shoe
(Though you've really got me wondering,
What it is that is wrong with you?)
I don't know how to say this any clearer
You are making this quite difficult
I am only trying to convey a simple message
(One I might mention, you are failing epically to get)
Do you think yelling it might help?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU!
I SWEAR, I AM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!
So, did you receive my message this time?
Have you realized you are not here all alone on planet earth?
Did my words finally get through?
Well, yes... You're right,
This poem is about you.
(Oh boy was that a waste of energy and breathe!)
-Kristen Burns-Darling ©November 2011 (all rights reserved)