Thoughts of The Guide
Musing in the wee hours under a super moon.
How fortunate I am to see my purpose so clearly. How lucky I am to see that which lies trapped within my human flesh and to not be lost within this world or numbed by all of its false trappings. Yes, very lucky to see so clearly and live so peacefully compared to society. Knowledge is power they say. Enlightenment is what all should strive for tho few achieve. What a wonderful gift to have known it. Those that have gone before me had never mentioned what a remarkably beautiful and lonely place enlightenment is. Especially for those selected to carry the weight of a purpose like mine.
I am the guide, the companion. I am not the healer nor am I the healing tho I can lead you to it if you have been chosen. I am not the saviour. I do not get to pick you. I am simply compelled to do what I have been called to do once you appear. I am called to pour out. I am called to allow you to breath. I can not give the answers. Words are not the way. All that I am to restore in you must grow within you without forewarning or preparation from my voice. My actions must birth these things within you and I do not always know what they are. I am not even able to speed things along since I must be a choice. I must be invited. You must surrender yourself and follow the flow set before us. Will you surrender? I am honored to have been given and to have been able to recognize my purpose. I am, however, trapped in human form with a human mind and human emotions.
The life I have lived, thus far, feels so tremendously long. It seems that I have been here for centuries. The illusion of time does not work well on me the way that it works on all of those around me. My human side grows tired and weak. I often wonder if I am strong enough to do what I have been called to do. I would like to allow myself to need someone. Would you temporarily give up the meaningless to allow me to need you & to play the role in your life while I am here? The question burns within me but will never be voiced. I would like to quiet the voice in my mind that reminds me that my hands must remain open and that the purest form of love calls for me not to tighten my grip. These are requirements. I cannot alter them. I sometimes look at others and wonder if it would be easier to be misguided by this life and every useless thing that it would have you chase. Is there a certain satisfaction that comes from it? A hamster seems to love its wheel and cares nothing about the fact that it takes them nowhere. I do find humanity interesting. The strength required for this purpose of mine made my path rough and sometimes dark and so I am able to sit with you in the dark and wait for you to let me be your guide. I don't recall much of my past and can not see far ahead of me. I know the future is there but I was not made to plan for it. I have no sense of home, no goals, and no dreams. My path requires me to let go. I am only a guide. I live in the moment. It is in my nature. As much love as I have known and have been given, I was not made to be able to believe in love the way the people here do. I love. My love is genuine, powerful, and honest. It appears in different levels and is felt by most close to me. I can't say the things that people say. I will not die without you. I can not promise a forever that I am not allowed to see. Everything that begins must end. What I can say is that, thus far, all who has received my love have yet to truly lose it, no one who genuinely seeks my friendship has been denied it, and those who decide not to let me fade have had more time with me. I don't have to see you, we don't have to speak, and I may not seek you out but that doesn't change what is.
There have been high prices for the purpose bestowed upon me but there is nothing I would change. There have been so many rewards, the biggest being the child and the stories that I have lived. When asked of fear and hurt I can say that I was once fearless long ago. The price of self awareness for some is that you know exactly what it will take to tear apart the delicate seam of your own sanity. I do know mine and it is where my fear lays dormant. All hurt and fear seems trivial in comparison. Having developed a unique relationship with hurt in my past has taught me a few things. Hurt is part of every choice and every path. It isn't limited to the bad or the good roads so I do not avoid it but I do make it worth while and my purpose is worth the prices of pain I have paid in the past. I can't fix every problem. I can't heal the wounds. I am not trying to save you. I can't change the nature of life or how it has treated you but there are many things that I can restore should you get out of your own way and allow me to. I am the calm in the storm, a refreshing story to inspire you, and a time of peace. Let go of all the trivial things you do not need from the world and take my hand. All journey's are made better with a companion.