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Moments in Time - Chapter 20
Our Moments in Time
I had asked Richard about his life. He sent numerous emails in what he referred to as his "ramblings". He was the youngest son who was raised almost as an only child, as his siblings were born in the 1930's and he was a baby boomer, born after World War ll had commenced.
When I asked how long he was married, he replied, "I was married for the first time for a total of twenty-seven years. The second time for fifteen years.
However, I always seemed to attract women, even in church. I had several offers from the fine Baptist women. It is embarrassing to say how many one night stands I had. Some, of course, lasted longer.
I was so unhappy married that it often seemed as if I was taking it out on my first wife, or getting even in my mind. Does that make any sense? She had an affair with a local doctor and I could not get pass it, even when I tried. Duty came into play, a basic desire to be with my boys and have some influence on them.
I wish I had some girls, I think. At least they usually love their dads"
When Richard said that I had to respond ,"Girls? they love you when they're small but teen-aged daughters with dads trying to tell them how to live because they know how the guys are? No, that is a headache you should be happy you did not go through.
Your remark, "At least they usually love their dads" sounds as though you feel as if you've missed out on love? Surely there was love mixed in with all the sex over the years. The high intensity love just doesn't last: two years, sometimes longer, if you are lucky. Any longer and it is a blessing and the Lord's in the relationship".
Richard wrote back, "I agree about the high intensity type of sex. Usually it is just the danger or excitement...nothing fulfilling.
My sex drive has gotten much less with age. I don't seek or want a fling at my age...love would be nice. That leads to the right way...desire is everything...respect for the other person is huge...you do not find that often. I am not dead yet, my problem is not trusting people.
I wish I could see you again. I remember kissing you at the airport. Our kisses were always so sweet, don't you think?"
When Richard would slip into the sensual area and relive our past with his words, my heart would melt. I had very little time for romance in my life. I worked, loved and cared for my children until they did not need me any longer, and I had endured the hardships in my marriage caused by James' unwise choices.
Where was the romance in my life? Only with Richard.
I slept with Blake's biological father once and he was on then off. I spent my honeymoon with Mel Rosenberg sleeping on the floor as I could not stand Mel touching me. One of the reasons I stayed with James was that he broke through the ice and our sex life was satisfying for several years. But romance with James was non-existent. When he would not even dance with me in Rome, it was like a kick in my stomach.
I wanted to hear what Richard remembered about us. I did not care that he had been with lots of women. He was spending time with me and our times on the computer and talking on our cell phones were so special. I asked him what he recalled about our meeting at the airport and when we were together back when we both were in our thirties.
Richard said," I remember a lot of it...even over the years...I was nervous for some reason. I think most of all for the strong feelings I had for you...it all seemed just right.
When we got to our room, you said you had some bad news for me: you had started your period. I just wanted to hold you close and kiss your mouth. I remember taking you back to your gate for the flight home and not wanting to let you go.
Ours has always been so much more than just the physical, don't you agree? I remember you being very anxious about not getting pregnant. Now I know that it was ingrained in you from your past experience. I just want to hold you again.
I can only imagine how it would be for us now: very slow and meaningful. I would not miss a place on you. I would rub you with sweet smelling oil, not missing anything...kissing you...touching every part of you...I would do my best to please you in every way".
I immediately wrote back:"I love your sensual words, and, yes, I have always known that our connection was more than just physical: that's the reason I always come back to "reconnect". You are my gift from the Universe....you have been in my thoughts for so long...always there...my love will last 'til the end of time.
I have always loved the spirit and soul of you. I willingly and eagerly let you into my private world and in return you opened the creative forces within me. You led us into that sensual area that I had not been to since our time together almost thirty years ago. I was happy to go there with you and looked forward to your emails that caused a flame of desire to burn within me. I want to please you in all ways.
I am glad to know that I am capable of feelings I had in years gone by. You do not realize the power of your words. You transport me to my youth. What will happen when I see you again? We will share those long-awaited sweet kisses. What else? Time will tell the truth. As far as I am concerned "you are still you". I need you. I'll come to you for your birthday."
After a week passed, I made arrangements to drive to Athens with my good friend, Dorothy. We left in her new car for the Mountain High Resort. The drive was the quickest in my entire driving experience. We cruised through Atlanta with ease and speed. When Richard called me around noon, he was surprised that we were within two hours of Athens. He said he would see me about 3:30pm.
I was not nervous, but very excited and happy. Richard and I were going to be together after twenty-eight years. Dorothy and I arrived at the resort, literally situated on top of a mountain, and checked in at 3 pm. Dorothy decided to go exploring while Richard and I were together. She left about 3:15 pm.
Richard called again. I told him that the door would be unlocked and just to come in. He was bringing a bottle of wine. I dressed in black slacks and a silk blouse, aqua blue, which was Richard's favorite color. When he came into the room he was beaming. He was still such a handsome man.
Father Time had turned his hair to silver. This was his 64th birthday. I was his gift! The sparkle was in his eyes as he walked over to me. He sat the wine on the dresser and took me into his arms. I had thought we might talk for a minute but Richard went straight for our long-awaited kiss. It was deep, intense, and breathtaking.
He kissed my face, my mouth again and again. I returned his passion. He hugged me so tightly as if he never wanted to let me go. For the first time in my life, I lost my balance because of his embrace. My knees started trembling and I had to sit down. We sat on the edge of the bed, then I slipped down to the floor and sat at his feet....Richard was here with me.
My dream was now a reality. I was on such a natural high and totally consumed by my feelings for him.
I asked Richard to remove the clip that kept my hair pinned up.When he did, my long blond hair came cascading down around my shoulders. He ran his fingers through my hair, then raised my mouth to his once again. We had waited for each other for almost three decades. Now there was no waiting.
We shared every touch and every caress, every intimate way that a man and a woman can show the other how much they care. We gave us to each other. There was no yesterday, there was no tomorrow,,,.there was just now....making love, totally...nothing held back in this time and space. We had such precious moments in time...we had our time for romance.