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Times Up...Flash Fiction

Updated on April 19, 2016
always exploring profile image

I am a writer of poetry and fiction. I especially love flash fiction. My name is Ruby, and I live in Southern Illinois. I am a retired R.N.

When she opened the car door, water began to seep in.

The night blackness engulfed her like a doomsday shroud. The air inside the car was thick and stale.

She'd been stuck in this muddy, high water for three hours. When she attempted to open the door, water seeped in. She quickly closed it, realizing she was going nowhere.

The car was totally disabled, battery dead as a doorknob.

Her mind rushed back to a time when she almost drowned in her pool. From that day forward, she never again went near water.

Hopelessly thinking, " Oh why did I take this back road when I could've taken the main road straight to my house? "

She needed fresh air, but of course the electric windows wouldn't budge.

She felt drowsy fighting the urge to close her eye's.

Only minutes had passed when suddenly the radio started blaring. The headlight beams pierced the darkness. The windows lowered automatically.

Her cell phone lit up like a bolt of lightening.

She had a message, frantically swiping in desperation,

The message said, " Times up "

Everything in the car went dead again as she watched the water level rise inside her car.

Carrie's sleepy eyes slowly opened to the sound of rain splattering against her windowpane. Hail pelting in rapid succession. Lightening flashing through her drawn curtains in her bedroom.

She jumped out of bed to watch the summertime storm. Her eye's fully awake remembering her horrible dream.

Her cell phone ringing quickly grabbed her attention, it was her mother reminding her to take the main highway to work, local news reporting flash flooding in their area.

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    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Shauna. I agree. I've had a few and they scare the H out of me. Thank you for the nice job comment. I really appreciate you coming by to read my hubs...

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      2 years ago from Central Florida

      Ruby, that's one of those dreams that leave you panting for breath and thanking God it was only a dream.

      Nice job!

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello DDE, It's always nice to see you on my page. I appreciate your faithfulness in reading my different genres, and your nice comments. Thank you...Hugs..

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Genna, Five of my hubs you took the time to read and leave encouraging comments this weekend. Thank you so much. This could happen to me with my tech. savvy. lol Hugs my friend....

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Yeah! Ruby you are getting better in sharing different genres. Always something new to think about from you.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 

      2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Ohhh, you had me going, Ruby. I loved how déjà vu; the 6th sense, the power of intuition, dreams, and how our reliance on technology can taunt our everyday lives in a negative way characterize this story. Very clever and imaginative. :-)

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello DDE, happy I got you. Ha. Thank you...

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Excellent work Ruby you got me here! I liked it!

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Mar. I'm so glad you are never disappointed when you visit my page. And yes, mama knows best. Thank you so much. You are special!

      Hugs and much love....

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Mike. The cell phone was a bit offbeat but fun to write. I'm glad you were " brought to the brink " What more could I ask for? Thank you for always encouraging me. Hugs..

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello MizBejabbers, I read your flash fiction and I thought it was good! Thank you for your continued support. I appreciate you!!

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Paula. you are always so ready to encourage with your upbeat remarks. I love to see you on my page. Thank you so much...

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 

      2 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Your range is astonishing, dear Ruby - I'm never disappointed when I stop by your work.

      Amidst the surprise ending...a reminder to 'always listen to your mother' - perfect! Love, Maria

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello tsmog.I have never experienced being in high water. It must be terrifying. It is nice that you could relate. Thank you...

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Wow Bill, I love your critique of this piece. Thank you so much!!!!

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Jodah/John, I'm glad you were surprised. That's why it's so much fun to write flash fiction. Thank you...

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Kristen, Nice to meet you. Happy you liked my flash fiction. Thank you for becoming a follower...

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Frank. When the master of flash fiction likes my attempt, well, I am smiling BIG time. Thank you...

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Nadine. I'm happy you got a kick out of this far-out piece. Thank you so much..

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Cam. Wow, coming from a flash fiction expert writer, I am thrilled. Thank you so much..

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Riadi, nice to meet you. Thank you for coming by. Cheers..

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Vellur. So glad you liked the twist ending. Thank you....

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Manatita, in a way I can see the funny side of this too, especially since I wrote that piece on the smart phone. lol. Thank you for the brilliant comment.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 

      2 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby. You bring the reader right to the brink. The cell phone - was right out of the Twilight Zone.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello VenKatachari. Happy you found this piece scary and exciting. Thanks so much.....

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Shyron. I can always count on you for a clever poem. So glad you enjoyed. Thank you much.

      Hugs and blessings

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hi Theresa, as you can see I had to add to the original version. Hub Pages thought it needed more. I guess it was too short, so I added the dream. Thanks for telling me about the new gadget, sounds like something I would want....Love and many blessings...

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Clive. Glad you enjoyed. Thank you....

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James-MizBejabbers 

      2 years ago from Beautiful South

      Ruby, you are a master of flash fiction. Every time I start one, it turns into a short story. I'll admit the ending was a surprise. I thought she was truly going under.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Ruby....I was as surprised as most of your readers. Have experienced flooding just once but that was enough. Too bad it isn't always just a dream.

      Your writing is truly entertaining. It gets the heart going! Paula

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 

      2 years ago from Escondido, CA

      Got me with the ending. It brought back memories of flash floods in the high deserts of California I have experienced. I easily related . . .

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      The tension was established in the first two sentences....gripping the reader and not letting go....great work, Ruby!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Good one, Ruby. I wasn't expecting it to be a dream. Got me!

    • Kristen Howe profile image

      Kristen Howe 

      2 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Ruby, this was really a gripping flash fiction story. It has great drama, action and suspense of this woman being stuck in a flood and can't get out. Nice work!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      2 years ago from Shelton

      a little twi-light zone flash.. clever.. I liked it Always Exploring..:)

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 

      2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      Ha ha I like that, A short flash fiction tale!

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 

      2 years ago from Flagstaff, AZ

      Wow! That was exciting flash fiction. Well done, Ruby.

    • Riadi profile image

      Ahmad Riadi 

      2 years ago from Bandung

      how hapy with them

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      2 years ago from Dubai

      Great write with a twist I did not see coming.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      2 years ago from london

      Awesome but with laughs for me. Only you could write this, Ruby. Brilliant work!

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 

      2 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      A thrilling flash fiction story. You created the scenario so scary and exciting only to declare it to be times up.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      2 years ago from Texas

      Ruby, my gem of a friend

      You get better and better at this "Flash Fiction"

      I don't think there could ever be a contradiction

      So keep on writing to the end

      * *

      Blessings and hugs

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      2 years ago from southern USA

      Yes, that is brilliant to make the cell phone the culprit! LOL

      I've always wondered about the computerized vehicles and no roll down windows manually. I bought my daughter this gadget that is small as a pen but can shatter a window so you can escape if you run off the road into a body of water or something like this happens. Plus, it can cut your seatbelt if it gets stuck too and one more thing that I can't remember. Lol

      Oh, you know it, no more back roads for me!

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 

      2 years ago from Jamaica

      I laughed at that ending, now her car is a her grave....i like the dramatic suspense when everything begins working, only to know that her time is up. Nice.

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hello Theresa. I was watching the news and the flash flooding in Texas when this far-out idea hit. I had to make the cell phone the culprit since I despise my phone who is smarter than I am. lol. I have this fear too. Frank was a great model to learn from. I'm so pleased you thought it was a great read. Thank you..

      Peace and blessings. ( Stay on the main roads. ) lol..

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      2 years ago from southern USA

      Whoa, Ruby,

      This is a heartracing flash fiction, and so well done. Looks like you may give Frank a run for his money on the flash fiction writing front.

      One of my greatest fears is this type scenario, either flash flooding or a mud slide. Terrifying stuff! I didn't expect the ending. When the endings are predictable, it's always a bit disappointing. Although I wish she survived, it is more of a shocker. Great read.

      I'll be mindful to not take the back roads. Eeks!

      Peace and blessings

    • always exploring profile imageAUTHOR

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Hi Eric, I wasn't too sure about this one, maybe a little too far-out, but if you think it's great stuff, I guess it's ok. Thank you much....

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      yikes! You got me in your grip. Really great stuff. Thanx

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