- Books, Literature, and Writing
To Forgive or To Not Forgive
Everyday we walk and talk, we live our lives according to our hearts, our thoughts, and most importantly our actions. We are the ones who control our own futures to a certain extent. Sometimes, people our lives they may end our future and other times people enter our lives so that we can begin our future.New light, new dark, newborn, new death occurs on a daily basis. We think a thousand thoughts and can never truly focus on one, unless a problem presents itself. The problem that I speak of is forgiveness.
As human beings, we tend to forgive others depending on three criteria: the wrongdoing they have done, others opinions/perspectives on what this person has done to us, and most importantly the way that it made us feel from that other person doing this wrongdoing. An example of this wrongdoing or where forgiveness would occur is if someone were to cheat on you. When someone cheats, the first thing that we fill is pain, then we think with our hearts, others opinions, and our thoughts. We use these three points along with some others on whether or not we will forgive this person. However, there are some viewpoints that we don't take into perspective.
One of these viewpoints is that life is short. As I mentioned earlier people could enter our lives to either helps us, love us, or maybe even hurt us in a bad way. We can not predict the future on when something will or will not happen to us. Sometimes, our lives may lie in some one else's hand and we might not even know it. Due to this reason, some people tend to forgive others because they realize that life is short. Others that tend to forgive others may see this as a reason to forgive, but also as a reason to leave this person out of their life for good. When we tend to no longer have someone out of our lives, remember to always leave on good terms, you never know what may or may not happen to them, good or bad.
Others opinions and perspectives must be taken with a grain of salt. When I say this I mean, it is ourselves who must ultimately make the decision whether to forgive someone or not, and that we should not be swayed simply by what others' think or would do in a certain situation. We can listen to what others say, but we should not always act on what others say. They are not feeling what we feel in that exact moment that we confide in someone else. This is how we gain from experience is by making decisions on our own and learning ways to not deal with the bad experiences on our own.
Last but not least is how much pain do we feel from the wrongdoing that this person has done. Is this the first time that they have hurt us? Is there always an excuse that doesn't quite make sense? Do we feel as if they hurt us intentionally? These are three important questions that we must take into consideration, when we are deciding on whether or not to forgive someone. We must understand that we should not constantly fall in to a pattern of constantly forgiving someone over and over again. The reason for this is because the person whom you are forgiving will think that they can hurt you over and over again and you will forgive them everyone. One day, you will come to a realization that you deserve respect, that you are worthy of not being hurt anymore, and that there is not enough love in the world that will allow you to keep someone in your life who constantly disrespects and hurts you with no regard of treating you differently.
How many times have you forgive someone ?
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