To Get Away
I had one chance to get away and
I took it.
I sat on the train, crying quietly,
then defiantly went to the
‘smoking’ area and lit a
My ‘master’ had not ‘permitted ‘ me to smoke. Now that I was free, I could smoke, and
I enjoyed the cigarette.
The noise of the train was blessed because it locked me into a safe privacy where I could ‘mourn’ my marriage, my death, and with some fear, imagine my future.
I would use my maiden name. No longer Theresa Diane Robinson I’d go the step
further of being T. Diane Bandazian. I’d tell people to call me ‘Dee’.
It wasn’t F.B.I. proof, but it would work for a start.
I went back into the carriage, closed my eyes, going for a few hours of exhausted sleep.
The train arrived in Miami mid afternoon. I asked for directions. The Hotel was six blocks away so I’d walk it. I took my time, tried not to seem pathetic and lost.
I got into the hotel lobby tired, sweaty, but kept it together. In the room I stripped and into a shower, then climbed into the bed to reflect.
They hadn’t asked for identification. I took the chance and told them my name was Dee Lopez. Many people in Miami are Spanish, I'd blend. For the first time in how many years I was safe, although I couldn’t grasp it.
I hadn’t eaten for many hours and knew it was safer to do all movement in daylight, so forced myself up, dressed, went out, ate, back, then to bed.
I woke ten hours later. It was five fifteen a.m.
I thought of my husband, imagined what he would be doing, thinking, saying.
I didn’t feel safe. Thinking about him, I didn’t feel safe.
I sat on the bed, hungry, scared, then thought of my cell phone. I’d shut it off
on the train. I went to it, turned it on. There were dozens of calls from my husband....
I pulled the phone apart, went into the bathroom, dropped the SIM chip into the
tank...not the toilet, but the tank. Then, I put the phone back together.
I felt as if I’d won a great victory.
I showered, dressed, went out on the street before six and looked around, I needed a job.
The first chance
I walked ten blocks and then slowly came back.
I stopped at every business place I saw. At one when they asked for my social security I got nervous, then the guy spoke to me in Spanish. I whispered ‘no papers...’ with a touch of Spanish accent.
He hired me to answer the phone when the caller spoke English. How I understood what he was saying was more luck than High School Spanish. And he actually spoke Spanglish, so it wasn’t that hard to get what he was telling me.
During my break I went to the Hotel, (which was five blocks away) paid for another two days, telling them I was starting a job.
They said if I wanted to be long term I could, and would move me to another section which had a kitchenette. They told me of cheaper places, but I wasn’t ready for more of a move.
On my way back I got a new SIM card for my phone.
I thought of calling a friend or a relative, but squashed that idea. Not now. Not Yet.