To My Precious Mom
Mom, it’s been a year
You are always on my mind.
So much has happened. The days are long and the nights are longer. Walking the floors and not sure of what is going to happen next.
Hearing your voice, ‘Deborah what are you doing?’
I went back home hoping to see you one last time. You were lying there so deep and so long.
The flowers looked good as I added some more. I sat down beside your grave as I read to you my book of poetry that I had written about you. The tears I shed made my poetry book wet and I couldn’t even finish reading the sobs were so many.
So much has happened. Dad got lonely Mom, and he has met another woman. I want him to be happy but he is different now without you. I feel different without you. All of us are struggling without your love. My sisters cry for you.
You were our glue Mom, you kept us together. You loved each of us unconditionally, and we knew it.
I was gone for a while, trying to be happy. It didn’t seem nothing made me happy. I did what you said I went to church and I prayed and I thought I trusted the Lord. But Mom, I think I let Him down.
I do want to thank you for teaching me about Jesus. It has been hard and I have made more wrong decisions as I seem to always do. You taught me family was very important and I am so glad I have my children and grandchildren to keep me going. I am very blessed mom. You were always so right.
You were always so full of love for everyone. You made everyone love you even more. I thank God for you that he blessed me with an Angel for a Mom.
I went to your church when I was at home; I saw the pew you always sat on, and it broke my heart.
Mom I feel lost, much of the time. But I did what you wanted me too. I went back to my man. As soon as I did he was in a bad accident, it almost killed him. He needed me again after years of not needing me. He asked me to stay and take care of him.
So Mom I did. I stayed!
It’s been a long hard road. Sometimes I think I made the right decision and then I realize I screw up daily. I just wanted to be happy, and Mom you were right about one more thing! I do love him, I do!
As I say my goodbye for now, I just want you to know, I remember everything you taught me and I love you and I Thank God I had you as my mom!
By: Debbie Brooks
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