To My Younger Self
My Younger Self
Dear Younger Self,
How are you doing today? Still feeling depressed? Maybe you should do something today. Find a way to distract yourself. Sleeping all day isn't helping you, if anything it's making it worse. You know everyone is worried about you right? Dad, he just doesn't understand. He wants to help, he just doesn't know how. Chloe and Bella see that you don't wanna play with them anymore. They're sad and confused. And don't forget Shaun, he's trying to help. Why don't you go and talk to him. If not him, why not a therapist?
I know you don't like the idea of needing help but it's what you need. She'll help in more ways then one. Without her, I wouldn't have a chance to write you right now. She saved our life when we needed it the most. You'll want to end up thanking Nana, she's the one who brought up getting us help. She takes us to every single meeting knowing we are finally gonna get the help we need.
Right before Christmas will be really hard for you. Even though you go to regular meetings with your therapist, nothing helps. You're gonna get in an argument with dad about his wife. You'll get so upset about it, you'll go into the kitchen and get a knife. You'll pace for about an hour telling yourself how worthless you are and how you ruin everything. You grab the knife crying and bring it towards your thigh. Even though you know you're most likely going to regret it, you make two small cuts on your right thigh. You will instantly regret it realizing you're better than that. You're gonna be so embarrassed that you won't tell anyone, not even your therapist.
But thankfully after that our depression got better. You're not gonna harm yourself anymore. You'll finally feel pretty again and will stop judging your body some. After a year of seeing your therapist, you'll finally be able to stop going. She's gonna be proud that you can finally handle your depression. You're gonna also start getting close with family again. You're gonna realize how much they care about you.
We're never gonna be cured of depression. But you now know how to handle it. Now don't get me wrong, you are gonna have rough days. Especially next year with everything with dad. You're gonna be really depressed but you'll remember to keep busy. You'll distract yourself with Bella and homework.
Remember to always be five steps a head for this depression. You can't and you won't let depression win. You're a fighter, whether you believe it now or not. Don't forgot how beautiful you are, inside and out. God made you just the way you are. We are perfect just the way we are. Don't ever think about giving up again!
I see you soon!!
Your Future Self