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Top 10 signs you are an idiot:
A gift for the trigger-happy idiots among us...you know who you are!
First off, this list is by no means exhaustive, but like the proverbial thousand lawyers buried under a mountain of their own filth, it's a good start.
There are two basic types of idiots in the world. The first is merely ignorant. This person has developed opinions without looking at the facts of the situation. They adhere to philosophies without merit, ideas which do not stand up to the World. Though youth has no corner on this market, a greater proportion may fit this category--though only time will tell for the younger generations. If this sort of person can simply shut up long enough to recognize their ignorance, they may someday become logical, thinking, and worthwhile members of society.
The second type, however; is willfully stupid. Regardless of facts to the contrary, this person will cling to pure opinion and use rhetoric instead of well-thought response as defense when the fallacy of their "logic" is exposed. This person is a fool, pure and simple, and if they offed themselves, the world would likely be a better place. I'd suggest they cut their own throats--Overdosing wastes valuable medicine better spent on healing the worthwhile, spent bullets would again be wasteful, etc. My point being that a used knife stills cuts. Of course, being idiots, they may be excused for choosing a less-than-environmentally-friendly method of death, since ending their own life would at least stop them using up more resources (post-burial, anyway). Just saying.
I hope you enjoy the list, and if you fit any of these categories, I hope you are the former, if not, remember, cut your own throat, it's less damaging to the planet the rest of us live on.
You have ever said, or even thought, that "The government should keep their hands off of Medicare..." or "Social Security."
I'm not even going to bother explaining this one, it stands on its own. If you don't get why this one alternately sends me into peals of laughter or the deepest, darkest depression, you might want to do some research. Since you are reading this I bet you have access to "the internets", pick a search engine and stop being such a goofball.
You think, or ever thought, that any President should just "do what his generals tell him."
This is the tail wagging the dog. Every service member takes an oath to follow the orders of the Commander-in-Chief, not the other way around. We do not live in a military dictatorship, but rather a Republic. The US Constitution clearly places the military under the rule of the civilian government. Anyone who tries to tries to persuade you otherwise stands to make money off the deal or is willfully stupid (not that one is mutually exclusive of the other).
Your fantasy sports league/gaming guild/etc. is in better shape than your bank account and/or your personal (real-life) relationships.
I'm not saying these things are bad in and of themselves, but when fantasy becomes more important than reality, you have officially joined the ranks of "nutbag."
You cannot articulate the main differences between socialism, communism, democracies, republics, capitalism, fascism, etc, but have an opinion that one or more of them are "right" or "wrong," "good" or "bad," etc.
Though this relates to virtually any subject matter, this is perhaps the most infuriating to me personally. All I'm saying is pick up a book or two before you start typing. BONUS: Once you understand what you are talking about, you can run your mouth with authority.
Along the same line of thought, you have never read "The Origin of Species" or similar work, but cling to the ridiculous notion that evolution is just a "theory."
You think if you say "I'm not ________" and/or offer "proof" that you aren't, that this actually means you aren't, when quite likely it means you are.
Example: "I'm not racist, but..." A logical person knows you are probably about to utter something TRULY, perhaps even OUTRAGEOUSLY, racist. The more you stammer and hem and haw, and name how many black or Hispanic or gay, etc. friends you have, the more you are telling EVERYONE around you that you are uncomfortable with and/or ashamed of your own thoughts. In doing this, you are telling everyone around you that in your own mind, you think that what you are about to say is inappropriate or offensive. My advice, either say it proud, or not at all. People will either think you are racist, homophobic, etc.--or not. If they don't think you are, it probably means you really aren't. Regardless, honesty is more virtuous than hiding how you really feel--especially from yourself.
You speak in text-speak.
For instance, you have ever said "I was like, WTF," or "She was like, OMG."
First off, the purpose of using acronyms in common speech is save syllables--literally to save one's breath. Saying FBI, CIA, BATF, APD, etc is much simpler, quicker, and easier than saying Federal Bureau of Investigation, etc. The phrase "Oh My God" has three syllables, as does OMG. Saying OMG is no more efficient than saying the entire phrase, ergo, one should use the phrase, not the acronym to avoid potential confusion if your listener is not familiar with the acronym's meaning. Saying "WTF" makes even less sense. The phrase again contains three syllables, but the acronym, phonetically, has five. If you ever use this acronym in common speech, you are most likely accomplishing nothing more than telling every logical person within earshot that you are undeniably an idiot.
The other side of this is that you are likely confusing (though surely sometimes also entertaining) linguistically competent people around you. For instance, when I hear someone say "I was like, WTF," I am immediately struck by the question "How exactly is this person similar to the phrase 'What the F***?'" Such quandaries often lead me to darkly perverse, highly insulting, and often humorous places, I assure you. I just pray the next time I hear some bobble-headed moron utter something like this I'm not drinking milk... (special thanks to BadRep for this line of thought.)
You think ANY politician is a "good Christian," (or Jew, or whatever faith they claim).
It's expected in America that in order to run for office, you must declare your religious affiliation. By nature though, politicians are greedy, power-hungry, hypocritical narcissists who will use anyone and anything to achieve their goals (which are at the core, is to become more wealthy and powerful--not follow religious tenants to the contrary).
In a universe of infinite possibilities I suppose it is technically possible that a few might actually believe and follow the tenants of their proclaimed faith, but in practice it isn't likely that they use religion for much more than credentials and networking (or to shield themselves from their critics). For example, let's take a look at a few political figures and how they displayed their faith:
Bill Clinton - Southern Baptist - Serial adulterer with a penchant, of all things, for women with big noses (he didn't stray from Hillary until after she got a nose job, after all). Also, committing perjury is not often the mark of a truly religious person.
Larry Craig - Methodist - Serial homosexual adulterer with apparent penchants for gay sex in public bathrooms and underage congressional pages.
John F. Kennedy - Roman Catholic - Serial adulterer with a penchant for Marilyn Monroe (can't fault him for his choice in lovers, at least).
George W Bush - Methodist - International war criminal who authorized torture and the bogus war with Iraq, drunk-driver, coke head, draft-dodger, etc, etc, ad nauseum.
In the US, 98% of our elected officials are nothing more than attorneys with clients who care less about their "convictions" than they do about their constituents. Their real god is the All Mighty Dollar, and when a lobbyist puts enough green in their back pocket their "god" tells them what's "right."
While up until now, this list has consisted of American politicians, special mention of the following fellow is warranted, as few in history have used religion so masterfully:
Benito Mussolini - on again/off again Roman Catholic - Il Duce used religion and the religious (including the Pope) like any other tool in the shed: when it suited him. (If you don't recall who this fellow was, consider that a strong indicator that you're an idiot.)
These are just a few, but you get the picture. Politics and perversion are infinitely more likely bedfellows than politics and purity. Most politicians are what would normally be considered "bad people," at least on some level. It's just common sense folks, and the moment we start paying more attention to whether they "walk the walk" as opposed to "talk the talk," we'll all be better off.
If someone has a different opinion, you engage in ad hominem attacks. EXCEPTION: you are trying, in earnest, to pick a fistfight.
If you don't know what ad hominem means, you may very well fit the category. It's certainly not proof, but there is an obvious correlation with consistently engaging in logical fallacies and being an idiot, I assure you.
However, if a person is saying something so offensive, so hair-brained, so egregious, that you feel duty-bound to put some lumps on them, then by all means, name-call for the betterment of mankind and with blessings.
Speaking of violence, you think that "violence never solves anything."
Of all the dumb--truly dumb--ideas I have ever heard, this one retakes First Prize every single time it's repeated. In absolute, unarguable fact, violence is/was the only truly permanent solution to many of humanities problems. The American Revolution, the US Civil War, WWI, and WWII, are just a few examples of creative problem-solving through "careful" application of violence. Dig up Major Audie Murphy, or Generals Washington or Patton, and ask them if violence can effectively be used to solve problems. Revive President Eisenhower--I bet he could lecture at length on how violence once saved most of the world from Fascism. With the history of the entire human race arguing against the statement, that anyone still adheres to this (admittedly good-intentioned, but still utter) farce simply boggles the mind.
You have ever written a Hub entitled "Top 10 signs you are an idiot".
As with the first indication of idiocy topping this list, this one needs no explanation <smirk>