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Top 50 Funniest Obama One Liner Joke Q&As

Updated on March 20, 2011

Q: Why is Obama's Air Force One an aerodynamic miracle?
A: It only has a left wing.

Q: Why are Adam & Eve Obama-era Americans?
A: Because they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise.

Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

Q: What's the difference between Obama and God?
A: God doesn't think he is Obama.

Q: What is the difference between Obama and Jesus?
A: Jesus can put a cabinet together.

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.

Q: Why won't Obama release his birth certificate?
A: The ink isn't dry yet.

Q. Why won't Obama release his birth certificate?
A. It shows that he wasn't born from a virgin.

Q. Why won't Obama release his birth certificate?
A. Because it's too difficult to Photoshop Hawaii over Indonesia.

Q. Why won't Obama release his birth certificate?
A. Because he had it shredded along with his mosque attendance records.

Q: Why did Obama have all sheets replaced in the White House?
A: He didn't want to be identified with anything muslin.

Q: What do Barack Obama & Tiger Woods have in common?
A: They are both trying to screw everybody!

Q: What is an exchange of opinions at an Obama cabinet meeting?
A: You show up with your opinions and leave with his.

Q: What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
A: Just a little bs

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a sinking ship, who would be saved?
A: America!
 
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.

Q: What did Obama say when he was told 3 Brazilians were killed in Afghanistan?
A: He asked Michelle "how many is in a brazillion?"

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Q: What does an Obama optimist say?
A: It can't get any worse!

Q: Why did Jimmy Carter vote for Obama?
A: Jimmy doesn't want to be the worst President in history.

Q: Why did Obama apologize to the world while degrading the USA?
A: Because Jimmy Carter had laryngitis.

Q: What's the difference between the Reagan and Obama eras?
A: In the Reagan era we had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now we have no hope and no cash.

Q: How will ObamaCare save the country billions?
A: By scheduling surgeries after the patients die.

Q: What is Obama's motto?
A: If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Q: What is a red flag to Obama's IRS?
A: Money in your bank account.

Q: Why was Christopher Columbus an Obama cabinet member?
A: Because he didn't know where he was going, when he got there he didn't know where he was, and he did it all on a government grant.

Q: What is the best argument against democracy?
A: A chat with an Obama voter.

Q: Why is the Obama economy a system of checks and balances?
A: He writes the checks, you pay the balances.

Q: What are the teams in the new Obama Football League?
A: The Stealers, the Bills, the Chargers, and the Lyings.

Q: Why is ObamaCare like an apple a day?
A: It keeps the doctor away.

Q: What do Obama's policies and clunkers have in common?
A: They both backfire.

Q: What's the difference between Obama's GM bailout and a car battery?
A: The battery has a positive side.

Q: Why is Obama jealous of Hillary Clinton?
A: She the one with the cojones.

Q: Why is Oprah supporting Obama?
A: She has a history of supporting frauds.

Q: What's the problem with Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and others don't think they're jokes.

Q: Why are there so few real Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.

Q: What's the difference between Pinocchio and Obama?
A: Obama's nose doesn't grow when he lies.

Q. Why did Obama run for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party doesn't have enough voters.

Q: What is the difference between Candidate Obama and President Obama?
A: Yes We Can became Yes You Will.

Q: What is the difference between Candidate Obama and President Obama?
A: The Audacity Of Hope became The Audacity Of Dopes.

Q: What is the difference between Candidate Obama and President Obama?
A: Change You Can Believe In became B.S. You Will Believe In.

Q: What's the difference between Lincoln and Obama?
A: Lincoln eliminated slavery. Obama eliminated private sector jobs.

Q: What's the difference between Lincoln and Obama?
A: Lincoln suffered from major depression. Obama caused one.

Q: What's the difference between Lincoln and Obama?
A: Lincoln had no middle name. You're not allowed to say Obama's middle name.

Q: What are the similarities between Lincoln and Obama?
A: Neither one ever wrote a book.

Q: What does Obama's cat say?
A: Mao.

Q. What is Obama's favorite lunch meat?
A. Mao Tse Tongue.

Q: What is Obamatopia?
A: Where Soup Plantations are replaced by Soup Kitchens.

Q: What is an anagram for President Barack Obama?
A: Arab base, pink Democrat.

Q: What is an anagram for President Barack Hussein Obama?
A: A Democrat speaks inane rubbish.

Note: I didn't write them all, as some were harvested from around the web. So keep that in mind if you want to flame!

Comments

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    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      I'll tell you what's happening to this world! It's all GOOGLE'S FAULT!

      Ok... lemme explain...

      There has been a long standing flaw in the way that Google indexes Hubs. Some of them (like this Hub) go up on the SERPs literally within minutes of publishing and stay there for several hours then... DISAPPEAR!

      This Google indexing problem has been around HubPages since the very beginning but recently it's been getting much much worse. This Hub and several others I posted in the last week have shown up within the Top 10 SERPs for their keywords and then just vanished into fat air. They are no longer visible in any way through any search, even with full title and author name, etc.

      Some of these Hubs come back on in a week or two, and others never seem to come back. You can change your headline, layout, content, and your underwear and NOTHING helps. This really applies more suction than your nearest Hoover warehouse since when I write something about Hurricane Igor it shows up on the SERPs, I get a ton of traffic for like two hours, then it's gone... not to return until Igor is nothing more than a memory of a windfall for East Coast Home Depots.

      This is why I am going to call for a Huby War against Google. Let's all march to 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway Mountain View, California, and threaten to torch their logo in effigy!

      DANG that cheeses me off! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

      Since I'm SUCH an active participant in the Forums... NOT... why don't you ask around over there if anyone has found any way around this... I sure as heck haven't been able to! :(

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      This is sad. It's been 8 days and no progressives have taken time from contributing to MoveOn.org so they can flame this hub.

      What's happening to this world??

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Glad you liked it! :)

    • elayne001 profile image

      Elayne 

      8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      too much! had a good chuckle!

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Thanks guys! And don't worry, I won't spellcheck anything... half the fun of bearbaiting Obama supporters is to laugh at their single digit IQs. :)

    • Wanderlust profile image

      Wanderlust 

      8 years ago from New York City

      Great collection! My favorite is Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?

      A: Bo has papers.

      And another, which is absolutely true and priceless:

      Q: What's the problem with Obama jokes?

      A: His followers don't think they're funny and others don't think they're jokes.

    • eovery profile image

      eovery 

      8 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

      I lover these. You so out did my Obama Joke Hub.

      Keep on hubbing!

    • Harvey Stelman profile image

      Harvey Stelman 

      8 years ago from Illinois

      Hal, For a Canadian you are very tuned into US politics. Why do the Taliban have beards? Their mothers' a goats. How was Obama conceived? Ask Bush. Just made them up, hope their ok. H

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      8 years ago from south Florida

      These quotes are priceless, Hal. I'm laughing with tears in my eyes because so many of them reflect the truth!

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Be sure to post all the flames and don't spell-check them.

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