Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Be Giving Me Your Money
Let's face it. Everyone wants everyone else's money. This might not be true all the time but I am sure at some time, it has crossed everyone's mind. When we win the lottery, we are actually collecting everyone's money who dreamed that they would be winning.
Now. you don't have to feel obligated to give me money. Perhaps, you're amused at my bluntness and find this article humorous. That's good! Maybe, you will want to reward me for my ingenuity by sending me a positive comment. Great. It could be that you might also want to send me some coin to: RMJ Productions, 5353 Lakeshore Road, PO Box 84030, Burlington, Ontario, Canada L7L 6S2 Fantastic. Now without further delay, here is the list:
1) My total earnings with Hubpages is a whopping 7 cents. Let me repeat that - .07 cents. I think I am in line for a raise! Since no one from Hubpages is returning my call, I am appealing to you, the reader and ultimate consumer to compensate me for the hard work I have been doing. You know the address.
2) Whenever a boy scout or a girl guide comes to my door to sell cookies, I have no money to give and I have to slam the door in their face. With your money, I can reward them with a few dollars and then ... slam the door in their face. Let them have the door slammed in their face with a bit of money. RMJ Productions, 5353 Lakeshore Road, PO Box 84030, Burlington, Ontario, Canada L7L 6S2
3) Some people start a stamp collection. Some others start a rock collection, a fish collection, art collections etc. I want to start a cash collection. My mother always said I would lose my head if it wasn't screwed on so I need lots of cash in case I end up misplacing it. Please send the higher amounts of cash - $50, $100, $500, $1000 and $10,000 bills. These are harder to find and I want to get a jump on this collection. You know the address.
4) Many people are not sure that the address I am giving is in fact a real one. Why not find out by sending your money to: RMJ Productions, 5353 Lakeshore Road, PO Box 84030, Burlington, Ontario, Canada L7L 6S2 If your cash or check envelope comes back to you, you will know that the address is fake. If a few weeks go by and no return mail comes back, you will know the address is genuine.
5) Seeing that many readers here are from all over the world, your money coming to me will help the Global circulation of currency. What better way to pump the world monetary bloodlines than to direct the flow to: RMJ Productions, 5353 Lakeshore Road, PO Box 84030, Burlington, Ontario, Canada L7L 6S2
6) They say that courage against all odds is rewarded exponentially. Okay, I am not sure if anyone said that but if no one did then the quote is mine and since the odds are that there will probably be no one sending any monetary funds, then I should be rewarded for writing this article, n'est ce pas?
7) Canadians are frugal people and the world knows us to be inward and shy people. We are also considered very conservative with our money and avoid lavish spending. Help me obliterate this unjust stereotype by sending all the money you can to: RMJ Productions, 5353 Lakeshore Road, PO Box 84030, Burlington, Ontario, Canada L7L 6S2
8) It is extremely important and significant to tie world events to my hub to let the reader know there is a relevant connection that this article displays. Osama Bin Laden is dead. Send money to: RMJ Productions, 5353 Lakeshore Road, PO Box 84030, Burlington, Ontario, Canada L7L 6S2
9) As an added service, when you send money, I can give a shout out to the various groups, or companies that contributed to the sent funds. Upon receiving the money with the appropriate note, I endeavor to climb my roof and shout out the names of the generous parties. Yes, I will shout it from the rooftops about your generosity and everyone in the immediate local area for a brief time will surely applaud your efforts (if they can figure out what the h*ll I am saying).
10) The final reason you should be giving me your money is that it gives you an excellent conversation piece to completely baffle the person you bring this subject up with. What more perfect way to short-circuit someone's brain than to say you gave some unknown in Canada a semi-fortune for no justifiable reason at all. The disbelief on his face will be well worth the amount that you sent. If you send your money to RMJ Productions, 5353 Lakeshore Road, PO Box 84030, Burlington, Ontario, Canada L7L 6S2 I can issue you a receipt in which you can present without doubt your donation and complete the exasperation on your companion's face.