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Top Ten Ways To Pass the Time in the Emergency Room
While spending close to nine hours in my local emergency room, I had plenty of time to ponder the meaning of life. Looking around me, there were a never ending stream of stories, each with drama all their own. Eventually, however, I was moved to my own room to await the doctor. That is when the boredom set in. During this time, I came up with a number of fine ideas to pass the time and thought I would share them with you. Without further ado, here are the top ten things you can do while waiting in the emergency room.10. Count exactly how many tile squares were on the floor. This became quite boring once I realized that all I had to do was multiply across and down. I made this more difficult by counting half tiles as well. Time wasted - 10 minutes9. Try to figure out what every tool on the wall is actually used for. This one was actually kind of fun. Problem was I never will know if I was right about them all. (God willing) Time wasted - 15 minutes8. Play flip the tonsil checker. I probably wasted about 10 of the Doc's popsicle sticks, flipping them into a garbage pail. I am sure he appreciates that. Time wasted - 30 minutes7. "Accidentally" call the nurse about six times. This one is a bit tricky as it can get you unwanted medical procedures. Time wasted - 30 minutes6. Put hand sanitizer on the wall in two places and race them to the floor. Okay, I was really bored. Watching this was entertaining though. Nothing like a booger-looking substance sliding down the wall to liven up the emergency room. Time wasted - 15 minutes per booger5. Draw mustaches on all of the people in the five year old magazines - Okay, this was during one of the more boring parts of my visit, but it was kind of fun. I was not the one to put boobies on the Redbook, however. Time wasted - 1 hour4. Request graham crackers and peanut butter seven times - A man gets hungry after all. Time wasted - 1 hour3. Play spin in the doctor's chair - This is a classic and a must for any emergency room visitor. Oddly, I went in for back pain, and came out with treatment for dizziness. Time wasted - 1 hour2. Turn your emergency room dress into a sumo wrestling sarong - It is a cheap thrill, but the look on the doctor's face is priceless. Time wasted - 15 minutes 1. Write down article ideas all over your hospital bed paper - You will look funny walking out with your paper, but you will have writing material for years. Not to mention the emergency room doctor will refer you to a shrink for having racing thoughts. Time wasted - 0 minutesThe emergency room is not so bad after all.