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Valentine Rant and Un-Romantic Poetry - 4 Love Poems by Diana Grant

Updated on February 16, 2018
Gloriousconfusion profile image

Valentine's Day has grown in popularity, much encouraged by the card, chocolate and flower industries. So, if you can't beat them, join them

Here's my gut reaction to St.Valentine's Day:

Saint Valentine's Day on February 14th is over-hyped and over-gushing, an outpouring of insincere, unoriginal sentimentality

To my mind, it is a great big marketing event, with simpering hearts, twee teddy bears and other anthropomorphic animal cards, dreamed up to appeal to gullible teenagers - and I do mean teenagers of any age, from 8 to 80. Sadly, they then count their desirability and popularity by the number of cards, roses and chocolates they receive, not to mention diamonds promoted by the diamond trade.

But I am only partly right...........

Piggy Love
Piggy Love | Source

History of St. Valentine's Day

In the pre-Christian era, ancient Rome celebrated a pagan fertility festival in mid-February called Lupercalia. it was somewhat more basic than Valentine's Day. This appears to be the precursor of the romantic festival, which was officially set as a Christian feast day by the Catholic Church in 496, named after two different Christian martyrs, both called Valentine.


Roman Lupercalia festival
Roman Lupercalia festival

Chaucer in the Fourteenth Century and Shakespeare in the Seventeenth Century were among the well-known writers who referred to St. Valentines Day. It first seemed to be celebrated by lovers in the fifteenth century, when courtly love was promoted, along with handwritten romantic messages and poems.

Valentine Cards In Victorian times

With the advent of the cheap postal service, invented by Roland Hill, Valentine cards became more popular in the Eighteenth Century when admirers declared their love with romantic hand-made paper and lace Valentine cards.

The sending of printed beautiful lacy Valentine cards flourished and proliferated as they became mass-produced.

Victorian Valentine Card


So far so good - but what about modern Valentines?

In the twentieth century, the practice of posting Valentine cards became more commonplace because of cheap postage; this enabled admirers to send them anonymously (sometimes in bulk), and some of them became quite racy (the cards, not the admirers, silly!).

World-wide mass production of Valentine cards really took off, along with the cartoon figures and cutesyness which we know so well today.

We have Hallmark Cards to thank for this reinvention of what was a genuinely romantic theme, and for transforming the concept of St Valentine's Day into a cynical regime of commercialised saccharine sweetness.

but I don't blame them - I blame us, for allowing them to coax us to buy in to this falsely sentimental circus

Hallmark produced their first card to celebrate St Valentine's Day in 1913.

This year an estimated 1 billion Valentine cards will be sold - now that is canny marketing!

Only Christmas cards rake in more money.

Here's My Poem About a Romantic Wedding - "If I Get Married"

(I should be so lucky!)

If I Get Married


If I Get Married

The wedding will be so exclusive

that even the bridegroom won't know where it is.

My dress will be opulent silk

delivered personally by an unsmiling Mandarin

from the nether regions of Outer Mongolia,

borne in an intricately carved jade coffer

(like a posh coffin, but easier to carry)

with ornate Chinese lions guarding each corner.

Flowers will be flown in

from the botanical gardens in Rondebosch

and Balchik in Bulgaria.

The Salute will come from a thousand and one Kalashnikovs

Imported from the hills of Tora Bora.

And there will be no present list at Harrods

Because, at the age of eighty-eight,

I don't need anything really.

(c) Diana Grant 26th September 2008

This is a painting of Persephone - not a Valentine card, but romantic in its own way

John William Waterhouse was one of the Pre-Raphaelite painters

The Awakening of Adonis by John William Waterhouse


My Poem "Blood on Their Hands" - This is a Villanelle about forced marriage

If you would like to find out what a Villanelle is, you could read this article: How to Write a Vilanelle

Blood on Their Hands

Do not reveal your abject fear

Forced marriage cannot be the way

Stand and fight, stand solid here

Protect the rights you hold most dear

Your life is short, your marriage long

Do not reveal your abject fear

If need be, run away and hide

Demand that only you decide

Stand and fight, stand solid here

Your parents may think they know best

But never put it to the test

Do not reveal your abject fear

Speak out to those who bully you

But get some help along the way

Stand and fight, stand solid here

I do not want to see you killed

And honour is no virtue

Do not reveal your abject fear

Stand and fight, stand solid here.

(c) Diana Grant 12th February 2008

Forced Marriage

Sleeping Around - Another of my poems:

Sleeping Around

Shall I tell you who I kissed

While we were sleeping?

I kissed the postman

When his hand came through the door

I kissed the milkman

When he stopped off on his round

I kissed the fireman

With a burning passion

Bit off more than I could chew

But as the night progressed

I dimly realized

That every man I kissed

Was really you.

(c) Diana Grant 13 May 2009

My Poem EJP - he's an enigma!



Was a key

It would unlock

The door to my heart;


Was a lock

I would embrace

My imprisonment;

If EJP was a door

I would open it wide

And step inside.

But he is a man

Who hides in a box

I can't read his mind

Or unpick his locks

If he was a key

The key to my life

He'd be my husband

And I'd be his wife

(c) Diana Grant

Take the Poll Below: Which Poem Did You Like Best? - Match yourself against the other Pollsters and see what they thought too

When I put my poetry up on the web

for all to see, I do wonder whether people enjoy it, or whether they just skim over it to get to the end!

What did you think of my poetry - which poem did you like best?

See results

Be Aware of how you are being influenced by commercial enterprises!

Why should you be made to feel bad

if you haven't received

a card, flowers, a present or a message?

Remember that people can still love you dearly, even if they don't indulge in superficialities!

Romantic Humour - Eglantine the Eggcentric Egg


Guestbook - What do you think about St. Valentine's Day, or any of the Poetry? leave a comment here - I love to hear from people all over the world

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    • Jean Bakula profile image

      Jean Bakula 2 months ago from New Jersey

      There is so much pressure on couples to spend money on Valentine's Day. My husband was romantic, and bought me flowers even for non occasions. But we did just plan a special dinner and later go out, because restaurants are overcrowded and usually up their prices for a quickly served bad meal.

      I also think they should stop the cards in school. Growing up is painful enough if you aren't the most popular one in the class.

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 3 years ago from United Kingdom

      I'm glad we didn't have anything like that when I was a child. In fact, I must say, I thought Valentine cards were just for your beloved, and not for children to hand out and certainly not to be made by someone in authority to hand them out - it somewhat devalues the concept, doesn't it?

    • profile image

      Marsha Cooper 3 years ago

      Money issues has taken the fun out of Valentine's Day.

      I found the history you share here to be very interesting.

    • ecogranny profile image

      Kathryn Grace 3 years ago from San Francisco

      Ever since I was a child, I've wondered why the schools celebrate Valentine's Day. For kids who didn't get many cards, sitting through the long hour while the Valentines were handed out, one by one to the more popular kids, must have been sheer torture. I was in the middle, neither popular, nor unpopular, so I got a few cards, but I was keenly aware of the children who got only one or two while some received piles.

      Later, when my own children were in school, we dutifully bought the packages of pre-made Valentines, as instructed by the school, one Valentine for each child in each class. Homemade Valentines were not permitted. I hated having to purchase the bits of garbage that no one would spend more than two seconds looking at. What a waste! Mountains of slick-printed cards and white envelopes going from the store to the school and the landfill every year.

      I'm with you there. But I'm touched by your poems and their different messages, as much as I'm touched by the love I share with my sweetheart, whom I now like to honor on Valentine's Day with a remembrance of some sort, usually homemade ice cream and brownies, or sometimes just a little note, just because it's fun to celebrate our years together.

      I hope you find the man of your dreams sooner than later, and that you get to celebrate your love in whatever ways you choose, and whenever you choose, not just on V-day.

    • BLouw profile image

      Barbara Walton 4 years ago from France

      I love your Valentine's Day poems - a thought-provoking lens.

    • Lady Lorelei profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 5 years ago from Canada

      My husband would cry if he did not get his Valentine's day chocolates from me. He loves chocolates and so looks forward to receiving them on each of the holidays. Who be I to break his heart?

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Michey LM: Yes, outdated but still rampant in many countries where women are regarded as unpaid servants, nay slaves, of the husband's family

    • HeatherM2 profile image

      HeatherM2 5 years ago

      I completely agree with you! It has been made into such a hype that to some lonely people it's the worst day of the year!!! Sad :(

    • Michey LM profile image

      Michey LM 5 years ago

      I agree with "Blood on Their Hands", forced marriage is an absurdity outdated for 21st Century.

    • profile image

      cmadden 5 years ago

      70%. You make a valid point.

    • profile image

      brynimagire 6 years ago

      Thank for sharing information ! Great lens !

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      60% Oops! Love the poetry.

    • KimGiancaterino profile image

      KimGiancaterino 6 years ago

      Fun quiz! Rants are good ... nevertheless, I wish you a Happy Valentine's Day!

    • Spook LM profile image

      Spook LM 6 years ago

      Couldn't agree with you more.

    • sayyoulovesatan profile image

      sayyoulovesatan 6 years ago

      I got 70% also, I have a feeling I would have done better 10 years ago. :) Awesome poems! I especially liked EJP. Valentine's Day is lovely, I usually don't spend any money on it, I enjoy drawing cards for family and close friends. Thank you for this unique lens!

    • linhah lm profile image

      Linda Hahn 6 years ago from California

      70% I need to study more!

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      ~ Cupid Kisses by a Squidoo Angel ~

    • BlogsWriter profile image

      BlogsWriter 7 years ago

      This is a great lens on the history of Valentine and how it has evolved now. Well written, off the mark and unique.

    • chefkeem profile image

      Achim Thiemermann 7 years ago from Austin, Texas

      I do love this lens. Especially the poems! :)

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      I love "If I Get Married" wonderful!!! This is a great lens. Have become a new fan of yours!

    • nebby profile image

      nebby 7 years ago from USA

      Valentines Day cards & gifts are good, if it's your first Valentine ever, after that it gets to be annoying and overly sappy.

      On the other hand it's a mid winter lift for some people and maybe that's a good thing.

    • FanfrelucheHubs profile image

      Nathalie Roy 7 years ago from France (Canadian expat)

      Love it! My husband and I don't celebrate (in the sense of going into a shopping spree of chocolate and flowers and cards) Valentine day. We don't need a special day for this. It has become overly commercial

    • I-sparkle profile image

      I-sparkle 7 years ago

      What an excellent lens! Such a breath of fresh air in amongst all the smoltzy, cheesy gush. Great work!

    • dustytoes profile image

      dustytoes 7 years ago

      I have to agree. I am older and wiser. I liked your "If I get married" poem.

    • auntjennie profile image

      Jen 7 years ago from Canada

      Valentine's Day can become a little much; though, I am enjoying making paper construction paper hearts with my niece this year. I think simplicity is the best approach. A quick love note or a simple I love you goes along way.

    • profile image

      livingfrontiers 7 years ago

      Lovely tongue in cheek lens on the forced love wishes on V-day! I enjoy Valentine's Day only because I do like a party, why not? Dr.says, take two candy chocolate hearts that morning, a stiff cup of coffee, and go back to bed on Feb 14 if it makes you sick. Might follow my own advice:)

    • Ann Hinds profile image

      Ann Hinds 7 years ago from So Cal

      I hate to sat this but I really enjoyed this. Don't tell my grandson, I still want the candy.

    • Lee Hansen profile image

      Lee Hansen 7 years ago from Vermont

      It's a bit overdone, like most holidays these days. I much prefer (and appreciate) a spontaneous and genuine show of feelings at any time of year not driven by commercialism. But the chocolate DH buys in the big heart box is delicious.

    • greenspirit profile image

      poppy mercer 7 years ago from London

      I totally agree with you...sickly hallmark cards and unpleasant teddybears mark an older celebration that sounds more fun.

    • GramaBarb profile image

      GramaBarb 8 years ago from Vancouver

      I put Valentine's Day on ignore for all of the reasons you have listed here. Well done.

    • norma-holt profile image

      norma-holt 8 years ago

      Yes, this is a good lens from the older person's perspective on something that probably was not that important in our youth. Well done and top marks


    • profile image

      vaponte2 8 years ago

      @myraggededge: Thank you for this lens! I thought it was very good! I also didn't know how Valentine's Day developed, and the information you provided was very informative! Your poetry was very good, lol. I am going to rate it a 4 ok.

    • Kylyssa profile image

      Kylyssa Shay 8 years ago from Overlooking a meadow near Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA

      I loved your unromantic poems - I've written quite a few unromantic love poems myself.

    • profile image

      myraggededge 8 years ago

      I love your poetry! I also loved reading about how St Valentine's Day developed over the years. I used to love getting the cards when I was a teen but now... phshaw... who can be bothered! Oh.. we do send cards to our kids with silly poems in.