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WARNING: Nick Names Can Be Harmful
I WAS ONCE CALLED "BULL HEAD"
By loving parents and kinfolks . . .
who innocently-thought that by teasing me with this then-harmless nick name in the early 60's, I would be a more-obedient. Humble. And molded child. They were wrong. Not that I hated my parents or their kin. Hating is wrong. And hating can be as corrosive as a harmful nick name. Actually I knew "me" better than these people and I knew in my heart, even at the clumsy age of six, that I wasn't mean-spirited. Vandal-minded. Or vicious to man or beast.
But still, the nick names kept rolling. Like an old-fashioned, coal-powered locomotive, the nick names came at me so fast that as soon as I adapted to the newest. More-harmless nick name of choice, like sharp lightning in a Kansas sky, I was given yet another nick name that might help me grow into the "ideal child." Now at age 58, I can truly say this without fear that God. Or our Federal Supreme Court would condemn me, "there is no such creation as an ideal kid." Not outside of Jesus Christ, borne to the Virgin Mary and her husband, Joseph. Nope. Hate to hurt your feelings, folks. Outside of Jesus, there is no "ideal kid."
Other "playful" nick names I had to endure
I AM NOT AN EXPERT AT CHILD-RAISING
nor will I intentionally-mislead you into believing that I am. I would be telling you a lie. And living with that on my conscience will not cut it. But this I can tell you. Using what "you" think as parents, are innocent. Playful nick names, just might prove to have harmful consequences. If you think about it from your children's point of view.
My point. Words, as I was taught in my early years, were harmless. But if that be true, explain why so many teenage delinquents (remember that term?) when asked why they lived a careless life, gave basically the same answer, "well, my folks told me when I was kid that I would turn out to be no good." Proof-positive that words CAN hurt. Far more than rational adults can fathom. One "innocent-sounding" nick name today might give our society the next Charles Manson.
Oh, Kenneth. Don't be such a "drama king." Okay. Have you ever read Manson's autobiography where he talks about how he was verbally (and physically) abused as a child? I know. Manson is a convicted-murder never going to see the light of day, but this part of his persona, I believe. To wax philosophical, "actions speak louder than words." And words were a huge part of Manson's destructive lifestyle.
When my daughter was growing up, it was the popular social term to say, "loser," to your buds out of a pure heart. Just having fun. But to (some) children my daughter's age, that detrimental term lead to them leaving school. Committing crimes. And serving jail time. Please. I beg of you. Especially the young parents. DO NOT call your children "loser," or any nick name of this nature. Even in gest. And do not be offended. I am not telling you how to raise your children, but I am telling you from personal experience, what hurts and what doesn't.
I would, when I was having fun with my daughter, would, if the need arose, refer to her as, "little buddy," or a "daddy's girl," since she was my only child. I didn't see any harm in those passive nick names. And today in 2012, she is the mother of three, well-adjusted, intelligent (can you tell that I am biased?) and emotionally-balanced children who are so near the top of the "smarts list," that I cannot put it into words. And my daughter has never complained about those "terms of love in a father-daughter" relationship. I can breathe easy for that fact today.
OTHER DANGEROUS NICK NAMES USED IN THE 70'S (when my daughter was growing up):
* DEAD MEAT
Can you, even for a moment, imagine calling your little one any of these corrosive nick names? I should hope not. But there were those of my daughter's age that did call each other these names that had "harm" written all over them. Where did these kids learn these nick names? Well not from each other, but mostly from their parents. Next case.
IN COMPARISON, HERE ARE SOME VINTAGE NICK NAMES OF THE 50'S:
* OL' SPORT
I heard you say it. How times have changed. And to this, I agree. Times have definitely changed. But not the easily-influenced and molded minds of our young ones. These children of 2012 are as prone to grow the way they are bent from an early age as those in the early 40's. Something to think about.
And I urge you to do just that. Think before you give you child a nick name. If you don't, it may come back to bite you one day. In the form of a child who has you to blame for their inadequacies.
That is something to think about.