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Whiskey n' Crocodiles!

Updated on October 6, 2014
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By: Wayne Brown


Well me and my brother was down to the lake

Fishin’ for a mess of trout

Brother reached into his overalls pocket

And pulled a bottle of whiskey out



Now fishin’ and whiskey probably don’t mix

I’d never gave it a try

But we passed that bottle back and forth

‘Til that bottle was almost dry



About that time my cork began bobbing around

Something was there on my hook

I yanked that line but nothing moved

I grinned and give my brother a look



We both grabbed that pole and began to pull

Winding the catch to the dock

But when we pulled it out of the water

It wouldn’t a trout, it was a croc!



That croc landed on the pier and scurries about

Just snappin’ and floppin’ around

Well, fishin’ was over for me and ol’ brother

We were ready to head for town



The whiskey had a terrible effect on our ability

To dodge that enraged beast

As he gnashed his teeth and swung that tail

I dove west and brother went east



Finally that croc opened his jaws up wide

And my brother poured in the booze

We didn’t know if crocs even liked whiskey

At this point, we had nothing to lose



That croc kept us pinned down an hour or more

Until that whiskey had worked its charm

The croc closed its eyes for a drunken nap

While brother and I strolled off arm in arm



We finally made it to the pickup about dark

Just like we’d been a wishin’

And we sat right there and made us a pact

To always take whiskey a fishin’



©Copyright WBrown2011. All Rights Reserved


12/6/2011


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    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @Dim Flaxenwick...Well, Thank You! I didn't even stay at Holiday Inn Express last night yet you are making me feel like a genius! LOL! WB

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain

      This is absolutely brilliant, not to mention hilarious. l can already hear it as a country song in my head. Great stuff!!!!

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @Movie Master...Thank you..so glad you liked it! WB

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Great, funny story! thanks for the laughs and voting up!

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @WillStarr...Kind of a "sittin' on the dock of the bay" kind of thing, Will! LOL! WB

      @Phyllis Doyle...Good idea...that way, you'll still have feet to put in the shoes! ha! WB

    • Phyllis Doyle profile image

      Phyllis Doyle Burns 5 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

      My gosh, Wayne! What if he is a really big ol' crocodile and it takes several bottles of Jack Daniel's to take him down? At that rate, I might as well just go BUY the shoes and purse -- besides, I am sure his feet would be bigger than mine. Aha ha ha ha!

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Pulling him up on the dock

      for awhile?

      Kinda sounds like a big croc

      odile.

      ...

      Up and funny!

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @Phyllis Doyle...I suggest you take the croc out dancing, get him drunk and while he's sleeping it off, just take his shoes and purse! LOL! WB

      @randslam...You might consider setting up a pen pal relationship and then buying one of them a bus ticket to come visit. You could always hide his shoes before he leaves! ha! WB

    • randslam profile image

      Rand Zacharias 5 years ago from Kelowna, British Columbia

      I'd like some alligator boots, but we don't have no 'gators this far north...so if butts and whats were fruits and nuts wouldn't we all be eatin' candy?

    • Phyllis Doyle profile image

      Phyllis Doyle Burns 5 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

      Does an intoxicated croc stagger, or just pass out? I think a scientific study should be done on this to see if whiskey bait could help in catching crocodiles - I need a new purse and shoes.

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @writer20...Glad you had fun with it! WB

      @randslam...Just the redneck comin' out in me. LOL! WB

      @drbj...Thank you, Doc...I like tall tales! WB

      @rjsadowski...Now that's a crock if I ever heard one! LOL! Thanks much! WB

    • rjsadowski profile image

      rjsadowski 5 years ago

      I think it's all a crock, but I guess I have to take your word for it.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Yo, Will, I heard that croc is lookin' for you two,

      You gave him a taste, now he wants more of the brew.

      Perfect comic relief, pardner.

    • randslam profile image

      Rand Zacharias 5 years ago from Kelowna, British Columbia

      Love SWamp People, Wayne. Great poem...love the colloquial repartee...lol.

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

      Great laugh this morning, voted up and awesome

    • Wayne Brown profile image
      Author

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      @Truckstop Sally...That would have been a great angle...maybe I can work it down the road! WB

      @leroy64...I would guess a "croc hangover" would be a stressful thing! LOL! WB

      @LVidoni5...Glad that I could bring a bit of cheer into your day! Thanks much! WB

      @50 Caliber...So very true Dusty. I wrote the poem as a relief from thinking about some of that stuff although most of it really needs some thinking about and doing about as well. WB

      @Phyllis Dole...Something my brother would surely do! Thanks much! WB

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 5 years ago from Arizona

      Hi Wayne, funny stuff and original enough to be true and add the guy in the boat and it's all down right funny! A well done hub to lighten my day from all the politics that weigh heavy on a fellers mind,

      Peace,

      50

    • LVidoni5 profile image

      Brian Loewer 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon

      I really enjoyed this one. Brought some laughs to my morning. What a great story.

    • Phyllis Doyle profile image

      Phyllis Doyle Burns 5 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

      Now that is one big whopper of a fish tale! I love it!

      UP and Funny!

    • leroy64 profile image

      Brian L. Powell 5 years ago from Dallas, Texas (Oak Cliff)

      Great poem.

      Landing a croc is a great fish story.

      Getting a croc drunk is definitely something to brag about.

      I wouldn't want to be around for the hangover.

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

      This is HI-larious!! Now if it had been The Pengiun, it could have been autobiographical. Ha!