WRITING -- To Right a Wrong
Write As Often As Possible
When you are writing for therapy (to get over a broken heart, a con game you fell for, death of a loved one, lost a job, etc.) it is best to write as often as possible. Get those feelings down on paper (or on your computer) as quickly, as thoroughly and as often as possible. This gets those debilitating thoughts and feelings out of your system! This is necessary for the healing to begin.
Have you heard someone say "He/she grieved him/herself to death"? That happens too often when a couple has been married for a long time and the surviving spouse grieves for his/her mate, unable to move on with living. If we could only get that grieving spouse to write down their feelings, write down memories of their missing partner and write until they have taken the painful memories and stowed them away. No, they won't ever forget their deceased spouse; however, it will take away the acute pain they are experiencing.
Time truly does heal most wounds, but to speed up the healing process, we must find things that help us do that.
Learn How to Cope
We must all learn how to cope when it's our turn to grieve -- not if, but when! It's a fact of life that we cannot avoid. Writing is just one of many ways to cope. Others include laughter, communicating your feelings, visiting with your grandchildren and/or going to the zoo to watch the monkeys perform just for you! Identify now what you find to be the quickest way to turn your frown upside down, write it down and remember to retrieve what you wrote, as you need it.
'Practice makes perfect' is a statement I heard a lot growing up, as you may have, too. I understand it better now -- as it applies to almost all areas of our lives. Whether you are 'practicing' how to act on your first date, how to write your first poem, how to meet your prospective in-laws, how to dance, how to do just about anything -- you should practice!!!
Think back to the things we've learned over the years that reaffirm that statement. How about "Do something for twenty-one days and it will become a habit!" Have you tried that to see if it is true? I have and it worked for me. The breaking of a habit works the same way -- just stop smoking day after day, for three weeks and you will find yourself a non-smoker at the end of 21 days! Just remember you can never light up again or you will have to start over again with the cessation process. Try moving a trashcan that you've had in the same place for years. It will take you 21 days to remember that you moved it and to remember where you moved it.
If you make writing a habit, writing every day for at least three weeks, you will have established a habit of writing. Want to write a book? Write at least one page, per day, for one year and you will have a 365 page book, the usual number of pages for a book, at the end of the year. I don't mean to make that sound so easy, it isn't! I speak from experience! However, you'll never do it if you don't keep on 'practicing' with new habits!
Doors Are Made For Opening and Closing
Eventually those painful feelings will begin to fade and you will be ready for another door to open. However, the opposite is also true -- IF you hold on to those painful memories, if you refuse to close the door on the pain, regardless of the source of the pain, you will keep that wound open, raw and painful forever!
Andy Rooney coined some wonderful quotes, this is one of my favorites: “The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort – the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing – the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.”
Whether you are ready to open or close those proverbial doors, don't hesitate -- do it now! Another favorite quote of mine, written by Alexander Graham Bell, speaks volumes about letting go and closing that door on your past to enable you to see the door to a better future::
"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
Take Up Good Habits and Drop the Bad Ones
Good luck to you in whatever new habit you want to establish. Why not drop me a note below to let me know your experience with breaking a habit, starting a new habit and/or overcoming a painful situation? Thanks, I'm looking forward to hearing from each of you!