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Well, I wrote this poem when I was going through nadir stage of my life. I was pursuing my B.A degree as well as simultaneously preparing for engineering entrance exams. I lived lonely in room away from my home and this loneliness caused me to pen down the stifling feelings that I had in my mind at that time. I was very much influenced by the classical English literature at that time and hence I have used a lots of words which might seem tedious to understand.
I wrote the poem spontaneously and that`s why whatever came in my mind I just penned it. Now, since they may be obscure to my readers hence I will have them paraphrased for the convenience.
The hap that`ll never extinct
up to my existence,
I`m the field
where regularity it shows.
My avid(s) that riven,
they never unite by their dint,
but in constant rebellion; a lance,
for my continuance and shield
that protect my heart from the woes,
as lax sometimes as cemetery men.
Mean :- The moment that will never end completely till I am alive. My conscience is the place where thing-- my thoughts which contradict each other-- happens. They never live in harmony but they always fight against each other. This is, for poet, like a sharp lance which strikes on the shield of a warrior and keeps him involved. In the same way this conflict between the thoughts strike the continuity(routine of preparation) and poet`s shield. The shield of the poet is his will power and headstrong nature and they prevent him from various woes.
Of course! while running through
my conscience exuberant.
I get the college`s pedantry,
stalwart emulation I lend.
But the task larger grows:
incarcerate my sobers,
though I faint,
in the area infantry,
they are of interests and comprehend.
Mean:- The poet says that he is animated when he runs through any motivational topic. And after that he behaves like a graduate student does and he concentrates on his mission. But now since preparation is not an easy task and he has to complete very lengthy course and hence poet looses his patience and he deserts his work and stops thinking though they(errand) must be done.
The time that flees,
with eternal, perpetual speed,
warns always me
to be on one track.
But in the lax,
I sometime seem to be in depth of seas,
or one post one flagon, Ulysess feed,
to be on Everest to see
myself hung, or break
my bones that my strip takes.
Mean :- The poet now describes about the time which is continuously slipping away from the hand of poet. The time always moves on and it warns the poet that he should avoid distraction and focus on his aim. But when poet becomes dizzy he feels as if, sometimes, he is in vales and sometimes he feels so energetic as Ulysess(The famous adventurer from the Greek Mythology) has made him drink a flagon(A large container) full of wine. And hence the poet imagines that he is on the Everest but again at the next moment he thinks that after jumping from there he does not know whether he will be saved or his frame will be shattered.
Opposite thoughts fight like a warrior
But not to say,
I`m the loser and lamented,
perpetuating myself in vales,
that survives the laws,
that god made for the humans,
the materialism though spay,
and my pure soul be tormented.
The lure that materialist sales
and to grab me in his jaws,
but myself is cautious against tricky games.
Mean :- But this does not mean that the poet is a loser and always remains sad which also is the creation of God. To poet, materialism is an obstruction and his pure soul may be tortured if he ever supports it. The materialism has a deep attraction and it is always ready to grip poet in it`s claws but poet is clever enough.
Heart Breaking moments
Of prolong on the two boats,
perilous it seems by the old
proverb that sneaked in 21st century atmosphere.
But my conscience ardently
but drudging my frame on the worldly floats.
Mundane life: the cruise bold
and we being the sailor,
sailing against ominous billows permanently,
and being successful if Vedas replicating.
Mean :- "The journey on two boats is dangerous" , is a old proverb and the poet sees that it holds it`s meaning well even in 21st century also. The conscience of poet agrees with the proverb and poet uses his energy and skills on to drag his frame(He lives his life without any sense). He them compares human life with a sea voyage. Humans, according to him, are like sailors sailing every moment against the adversities of life. Everybody, whosoever. manages to survive himself with basic necessities and he is successful too in his endeavor according to Vedas.
John Keats: Greatest Escapist
Oft, I for sometime, rambled
from the fixed mark;
that being rutilant,
and it`s aeon laws
that feasts fresh foods
and have immortalized and frambled
hastily that weapons and hark!
of detonations by wretched effulgent,
draping peace in burning maws
and honest as selling goods.
Mean :- The poet says that he has got deviated from his aim which is very clear in his mind. Now, he turns to a law which continues to exist since primeval period. That is the act of violence. It always feasts human souls and hence is now immortal. The poet turns to the terrorists who improvise various means to make detonations and kill masses. He chastises the politicians who are neutral to the cases and play their dirty politics over the havocs.
I am not aware
of the reason:
what master crafted
with usual soil but queer conscience.
My frame that writes,
entangled in this naughty care
of the world that`s wild bison.
And curse my conscience! why it rafted
the useless facts and mince
my dexterity as frivolous frights.
Mean :- The poet turns to himself and flushes, he is not aware of the reason that why God gave him such a conscience and attitude. His hands that write poems are part of his body which in turn is the part of this world which poet sees akin to a wild beast. He then frets over his heart which rambles here and there and collects useless facts and hence diluting the sharpness of his skills.
The most detestable thought
What do you hate most ?
"I don`t know",
'I' being the titanic excultation;
in the above words,
for that propels
me to learn more,
but I show
it`s not in my melioration
but I orate to swards.
Since I have not seen rails,
but some may; it`s my bore.
Mean :- The poet says that when ever he exclaims quoted words he becomes very happy since it propels him to learn more. But the problem is that poet again becomes indolent and hence he lent an example of the great persons. He has himself not seen the exact path of wisdom but some might have, its the poet`s thinking.
Of course! I got streak,
in my point that dwelt
on the above paragraphs,
but these are shrouds,
that veil the lied person,
they are the freak
of my specs, that melt
my mind with happening warps,
that is played about the human crowds,
every day in papery version.
Mean :- The poet now confesses that in last few lines of the previous stanza he may have blurred his exact wish then he explains that cause for it is that he is no more an energetic person and he compares himself to a dead person and those thoughts written above are like the shroud that cover carcass. He then further explains what are those shrouds ? According to him , his thoughts are of such nature because of his vulnerable conscience and the news that he gets about the human suffering from every day newspapers.
luring again by self
I don`t know
how to get the bend
of the hostility
that hails in my hearty field.
nor any bow,
that I perform and perpend,
and I am dubious about it`s utility.
No quenching result does it yield.
Mean:- He again gets enticed to himself and he does not know how to defeat the hostile thoughts that come in his mind. He says that he does not long for any wealth nor had he made any kind of promise-- that he was not able to keep-- and also he is doubtful about the utility of the wealth. But still the satisfaction is far away from the poet.
The fact that compelled
me to behest the aim;
doddle and quick--
my overwhelming energy
that I bore once
as ripple in ocean failed
to sustain it`s crest and fame
or the revolutionary Bolshevik
and the parlous lethargy
that draped my laborious fence.
Mean :- The fact which poet had in himself is the reason why he selected to prepare for entrance exams. But that energy was fleeting like a ripple`s crest in ocean or that may also be compared to a great Bolshevik whom people forgot after the great Russian revolution was culminated successfully. He then describes the dangerous laziness that has completely collapsed his will power to work hard.
Of taking the span of teens,
the rift that prevails
when the brain got common sense,
never my mind resided in same way
but bumping helter-skelter,
greater than those flood robbers heart deigns,
they applause the gales
that are pernicious to the democratic sense,
which was shining ray
on independence eve though Zinnah`s fester.
Mean :- Now he thinks about his teenage and the rift which prevails in his heart since after the poet was able to understand most of the things. His mind was never the same as before. It began to get disturbed and it`s more unrest than those politicians who make Machiavellian methods to retain their power and hence stabbing the democratic values which was the best option of hope when we got independence though we also had to see the pain of partition.
But now plodding the fancies
through the mini universe
that one`s brain carries
and as it`s closed,
being the humans extrovert
weetless of the fact basis;
could be sensed a curse.
Veil of it cause of worries
of the tragic pause
of the play that perpetually hurt.
Mean :- Now the poet thinks that human beings have stopped listening to their heart and they are not aware that this is disastrous habit since they will not be able to listen their pure conscience. And this quality of not listening to the heart may bring great pain and sorrow.
Of wound that may be asked,
never to tell but was the elf
that played the course in Puranic age,
it propounds that antique period
morality the dominant one,
but still the evil basked
it`s food and formation of pelf
fed humans and happened the carnage
of flesh or morality but load
was more of morality one may hone.
Mean :- The poet, in previous paragraph, had mentioned about pain and grief and now he further explains them. The wound was nothing but the elf that resides in human hearts. The elf continues to exist since the ages. It is said that in ancient ages morality was more dominant. But still evil slyly continued it`s effort and it was due to his endeavor that wars erupted. It was due to this human population and moral values diminished but conforming with today`s scenario it can be concluded that moral values diminished in greater quantity than human numbers.
Refitting the thousand years,
in a gasp.
The atmosphere being nurtured
of humanity and spirituality
but mightiest man of his century,
baleful the partition that one hears
but deterioration: mounted wasp
on a tree where it gets matured.
the character frail quality
of the teens or the old`s fury.
Mean:- The poet is adept in knowledge of history and hence he quickly glances the delicate events of past 1000 years and he says that the atmosphere of his country has always been inclined towards seraphic values. He then quotes to Mahatma Gandhi whom he considers as mightiest man of previous century and says that baleful partition of India is an exception. After India became independent the political sanctity became depraved and character of the politicians became frail.
Much we have espied
but I am not knack
to extricate the rivalry
that`s present in me
to exude great chivalry required
or better to say Herculean abide
to clear the ransack
that`s futile proving masonry
to framp the naughty avid to see
the consequence that lay still astride.
Mean :- The poet says that he completed much of the things that he wanted to convey but still he is not able to finish the duel the continues to exist in his heart. To let off the stream great heroism is needed and to poet it seems more then Herculean might. He then terms his contemplation "ransack" and expounds it to be futile since it`s unable to bind the mischievous thoughts which want to see future.
The stretch that shows presence,
in my mind
don`t know why!
incidence of the country or earth.
Myself collapsed due to pestilence
it ere find
in my espy
of this frame documentary
my heart in flamed hearth.
Mean :- The poet says that he does not know why is concerned with the incidences which are of no practical use to him. He says that it is this quality of rambling that poet is collapsed in his work. The poet is burning from inside.
Sprinting I am on the path
of the technological education
my aim to grab the above
but what my mind! oh god
not taking care
but feigning the aftermath
of the malision
that has sneaked to shove
by the countrymen better as fraud
every time they wrap the layer.
Mean :- The poet says that he is on the track to secure admission in an engineering college but he is not able to concentrate himself on his studies and instead he is worried about the deprave acts of corrupt politicians which he comes to know in form of scandals and scams.
Most strangled in the known world,
I deem to my soul
haply blurt for the occidentalism,
but after few lapse which pass
they alter my thoughts
want the consort which sprawled
the influence of the cowl
which bears materialism.
to every defaulter I wanna truss
to make flawless political thoughts.
Mean :- The poet deems himself to be the most disturbed and restless. His heart for a moment support for western culture and traits and he wants to take pleasure out of that traits but at the next moment he thinks that every corrupt politician should be in jail!
A lapse elapses,
my hard stignant resolution;
austerity of my character;
my ideal applause.
But the neighbor traps
the escapism and other means
that my pondering gives solution
to follow Keats` factor
of myths and beatific cause.
Mean :- The poet says that for a moment he pledges to perform his duty and devote himself for the completion of the task that he has undertaken but at the next moment he dithers and runs away from the responsibility.
The idea of my mind,
being like the multitudes,
constraint for me
to stay at multiple ways origin
and though have to select one
want reform in framble, I find
but since many attitudes that consort sea
which`s my mind and eternal wave in
as specs which by benevolence are shown.
Mean :- The poet says that nature of his mind is like many people and he knows that though he is compelled to stand at the verge of a point from where many roads emerge and he has to select one path. He knows that his mind is like a vast ocean in which the thoughts are like ripples. And it is the benevolence of his conscience that he has abundance of emotions and values.
This poem may seem, at first, absurd to many, but I assure that these lyrics were churned out of my heart when I was going through roughest period of my life. I welcome the criticisms of my readers.