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Wash Me!

Updated on May 30, 2016

Once again! Vandals!


There it was again!

If you have ever returned to your car or truck only to find that message "Wash Me!" scratched from the road dust on your vehicle's back window, you may know why that irks me.

It does.

It doesn't take much accumulation of the road dust to occasion such a message, and it became so frequently added when our car was in the driveway, that I determined to find out who the guilty culprit was.

My "detective spirit" just got the best of me. I installed a security camera to surveill our car.

The fingered messages stopped!

That was good, as far as it went, but it didn't stop the "Wash Me!" messages.

It had to be a gang of frustrated finger painters.

I would come out of our field office sometimes for lunch with my wife, or at the end of the day, and there it was waiting to greet me: "Wash Me!"

All that continued until one day when my wife and I drove to our post office where the small staff usually meant a long wait in line.

I told Margie she could wait in the car or come in with me.

She opted to avoid standing in line.

Surprisingly there was no line inside, and I was in and out in the shortest time ever.

To my surprise, Margie was behind our car, and wiping off two dirty fingers.

Mirror image of the other times!



© 2016 Demas W. Jasper All rights reserved.


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    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 11 months ago from Texas

      Demas, LOL. I have a vision of you silently driving home and when you get there, you made sure you were out of the car first and get the hose and turn the water on like you are going to wash the car, then turn the water and spray Margie, at least her dirty fingers, lol.

      Blessings my friend.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 11 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Dear Shyron,

      Somehow my short stories are real enough by being said in the first person, that they are considered to surely be true stories.

      Alas, or hooray, that is not the case here, nor in several of the others I have posted here on HubPages.

      I'm glad this one gave you a chuckle, and perhaps you will want to reexamine some of the others to see what made them seem so "first hand."

      Are you ready for June, summer. and the heat? Perspycacious

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 11 months ago

      That is so funny. My sister lived in an apartment complex, and she was laughing one day because one of the tenants did that to her. She threatened to do it to my car, too.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 11 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      MizBejabbers - Turn about is fair play alright! My thought: cars rust out faster when they get rinsed off every time the wind blows. Try that one on your sister and see how that goes over.

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 11 months ago from Victoria, Australia

      Good one! I love to have a chuckle!

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 11 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      BlossomSB - I surely meant that short story to give readers a chuckle. Most of my limericks were written with that same intent. I'm glad you had the chuckle.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 11 months ago from USA

      Your wife has a great sense of humor. And she's sneaky!

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 11 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      FlourishAnyway - The best wives have a sense of humor, are likely intelligent in things that count to their husbands, and yes they can be sneaky, too.

      As I mentioned to ShyronShenko (above) this is not a true story about a personal experience of mine. It is a created short story.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 10 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      That was a good one. I do believe your wife would like you to to wash the car after every trip. Perhaps the two of you could create some fun like a suds and water party where you and the car get a really got dousing of water.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 10 months ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Gypsy Rose Lee - If that was "suds" in terms of your favorite Latvian or Brooklyn beer, I opt out, but a good water fight is always welcome, especially in the middle of the garden where it can do the most good!

      Thanks for today's visit and comments/suggestions.

      P. S. Margie and the story are pure fiction, as I pointed out above. The latest fiction was about a school janitor named Jinx.

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