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We Didn't Start the Fire

Updated on August 22, 2009

We didn’t start the Fire!

The gender wars did not begin yesterday.

The war had begun many years before the Great Scientist was inspired by the fall of an apple in his garden. In fact it started in another garden with another apple & led to fall of another kind. Ever since the Venetians have been mistrusting the Martians & vice versa. Each laying the blame on the other for having tricked them into eating the fruit.

But, frankly, the real fissures had appeared when the Almighty in His wisdom attached a tiny bit of muscular appendage to the Men. One has to admit, the Almighty has been rather unfair to the fairer gender. Now, everyone knows how handy it can be when one’s micturating. This appendage gave an unfair advantage to the less fairer sex since they could do it standing & thereby lord over the unendowed ones who were obliged to do it squatting down.


Not only this, this tiny thingy was an all-weather, multi-utility tool. It had the magical property of stiffening like a steel rod when required & could be poked into any suitable opening. Once done, the same could be folded like an empty duffel bag & tucked away in the folders of the lower garments! Now wasn’t that a very handy tool with the men? To compound the problem, this multi-purpose rod could be poked in when one was elated, dejected, suppressed, angry, hungry, joyous or even drunk! Each time, it made the man grunt with joy to the chagrin of the ladies. The worse thing of all, Lord God also gave men the power to inject the life-fluid into others using this wonder tool and thereby ensure immortality for them, so to say.

Quite naturally, women developed envy for the pee-thing. Sigmund Freud , an elderly gentleman , whose claim to fame was that he kept a nice , trimmed beard, was cheeky enough to call this envy in women the P-Envy. Now wasn’t that a classic case of rubbing it in (don’t get me wrong, no pun intended at all!)

Wasn’t it a strong enough reason for womenfolk to feel suppressed by the kingsized ego of the men, all six inches of it? Having envied this extra appendage for long ( which would bulge mockingly through the male underwear, or so they thought ) many women thought enough is enough. They grouped up to challenge it! As a reciprocal measure, they knocked off the paddings of their knockers & publicly burnt them! “We are Free now”, they declared with a jiggle !

Unfortunately this amused the men further, and the fire started


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    • LogicalSpark profile image

      LogicalSpark 8 years ago from India

      Connie, I thought that as well.

      Blame it on the bearded gentleman who changed it all!

    • Connie Smith profile image

      Connie Smith 8 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida

      And here I thought P envy was something that the 4 inchers had or ALL those whose tool didn't come with a warranty and it quit working before its time, no matter the size. Despite what most of the men think, I don't know many women that want one of those things dangling around on 24 hour basis. Leave it to a man to make a competition out of it, LOL. Good for your wife, you don't deserve dinner!

    • LogicalSpark profile image

      LogicalSpark 8 years ago from India

      Thanks Tom & Easy1.

      Unfortunately, my wife manged to read it just now.....she switched off the kitchen fire. So have to forego dinner now ! :(

    • easy1 profile image

      easy1 8 years ago from Ireland

      Your taking the P.

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Grins...this was cool. :)