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"What Is In a Word"

Updated on May 7, 2012
© Quill Collection
© Quill Collection

Hugs and Welcome to All

A fine Alberta morning to all as we pause and look at the start of a new day. What will the day hold in store one needs to ask. Will it be filled with joy or sadness. I often think of people who are facing a difficult time. Maybe those awakening for the first time this morning after hearing they have a terminal illness. Maybe the recent loss of a loved one, a family member, a friend. Maybe it is a harsh word that has been spoken to them by a loved or trusted person in their life that has left them reeling. A word that is still stuck and is being heard over and over again in their minds.

I have a insistant Robin that starts announcing the day at the crack of dawn each morning. This morning it started at 4:27 am. Her words are welcomed some days and there are others she could wait for a few more hours. This morning was one of those days she could have slept in herself. The joy in her voice could be heard all too clearly this morning.

Welcome to the Fireside, may you find peace here and I do hope you take the time to just rest and seek the peace we all seek. Help yourself to the coffee, tea, hot chocolate and the goodies. Scrunch a pillow the way you like it. Snuggle in close and feel at home.


Morning Peace

© Quill Collections
© Quill Collections

"Words"

Once a word has been spoken does it really go away. I suppose some do after all they are only words. They aimlessly drift off and are forgotten. Words we place on paper or leave here or post on the Internet are words that stay a long while.

I have a priceless collection of letters from my dad spanning back many years. Some well before the time of the Internet. Written in his own hand filled with his thoughts at the time. When I say the word priceless it is what they are to me. They all open with the same two words "Dear Son." Dad was a man who wrote his letters from his heart. I often find myself opening one and reading through what he had on his mind that day. Too me they are a part of his journey in our lives.

I have yet another treasure I have saved over the years. It is a box of reel to reel tapes. Some old music but real treasure are the tapes we as a family would exchange on a regular bases. Mom and dad and I stepped into the age of technology at the time and recorded tapes and mailed them back and forth. Generally each tape would be on standby for a few weeks recording the events of the day. Once filled it would be packaged up and sent and listened to on the other end. I was fortunate enough to be the recipient of all these recordings.

I have a reel to reel system sitting in my studio here and on occasion will find myself listening to the words spoken by my parents many years prior and yes even my own I had sent. Recordings of the many family gatherings I missed because of where I lived were all recorded. Parents, Brothers and sisters, nieces, cousins and friends. Indeed a real treasure. They are words I have and can listen to over and over.

Life's Pathways

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© Quill Collection

Other Words

We all have the words we have heard or spoken ourselves. We would just as soon forget about them but they are still there. They have cut us or cut another. Some intentional and some unintentional but they are still there. They have been spoken and are hard to retract and often we wish we could take them back.

We can forgive and can be forgiven if asked. Sometimes we need to humble ourselves to do so. Other times it is as simple as the mention and it is gone. Other times it may carry on for years the resentment and the anger. This is something which is so hard to deal with for many of us because it just sits and eats away at us.

I spoke such words to a loved one four years ago. It had been building in me for a long time, even through repeatedly suggesting the words she was speaking were painful. On this day I spoke words I wish I could take back. Even though I begged for forgiveness it has never gone away. The response was a curt "What Ever." There has been an invisible wall raised, a hand that has stopped all love and offering of peace. My question has always been what can I do to fix it.

I have come to the conclusion it is best to simply leave it alone. I have done all the right things to repair the relationship and it has not happened. I do miss the love and friendship and yet her anger and frustration are not mine. They are hers and I choose to step out in freedom and not be held captive by her anger. There are stil the normal pleasantries exchanged in Birthday, Christmas cards and emails but the wall still remains. Since doing so there is a great freedom in knowing I have done all I can. I will be here should things change and I hold no malice or anger. I simply wait.

"At The End Of The Day"

© Quill Collection
© Quill Collection

Our Shadows

We all carry the burdens of words spoken in haste. We have all been the recipients of such words. If anything can be learned from this it should be that we all make mistakes and we can move on if we choose.

How many times have we all heard about taking things such as words to the grave. I preformed a funeral several years ago for an elderly lady who had a hard life. She had been hard on her children. She sought their forgiveness for many years with no avail. I spent the last few hours with her. Hours filled with tears and great remorse. The sad part was there were three hundred people at her funeral and the only family member was a grandson. Her three children never attended their own mothers funeral. The one and only chance they had to say goodbye was missed.

She passed with the peace knowing she had make her attempts and yet her children remain in that place of anger. What a sad way to live.

Take the time this day to seek deep in your heart, your mind and your soul. Search even in the hurt places and please I beg you to find forgiveness and if you need to offer forgiveness to others. Life is far to short to live to live in anger and bitterness. Stretch yourself far beyond your comfort zone and make good on the words that are left unspoken. Be ever mindful of what you say and should the occasion arise where you are hurt please speak out and stop year upon year of insanity so all whom you touch or are touched by can live in peace.

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    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi again Jackie... you are so right. We as well are to remember that we are not to become doormats for others to walk all over us. I think i is fine to stand our ground when there is injustice. There will be a day when we will all need to answer for what we have said and done. Anger is not the answer...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 5 years ago from The Beautiful South

      I missed this one somehow; a very important one. I think as I get older I find it easier to forgive and less likely to let my temper fly. Now my dear parents are gone I have no one defenseless left to defend and I figure forgiveness for their offenders are between them (the offenders) and God. So I try to not let it eat at my soul and pray God opens these people's eyes before judgment day. Handing it over to God makes me feel much better.

      Peace... from America

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Sky... thanks for the comment and the well wishes for the situation. We all face them.. when we do it is how we respond that makes the difference.

      So good to see you again... hugs to Hubby as well.

      Hugs from Canada

    • skye2day profile image

      skye2day 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      rolly my dear brother. How beautiful heartfelt and transparent is your writing. I love this. Life and Death are in the power of the tongue. The wall with your friend may come down someday. As you said you have done your part. God will soften her heart in time. Maybe it really struck a cord in her about some deeper roots. Anyway moving forward in Christ is a beautiful gift. We do not need to hold on but hand it over to Him. I love the pictures so beautiful I enjoyed this fine writing my bro. I love ya, your sister in Christ. Hello to the quigley and the mrs quill. HUGS, Hugs, hugs......

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Good Morning Pam... no doubt you are suffering in the heat of the south... we are cool here today but the forecast is calling for some good weather ahead. Thanks for stopping in... you are such a great encouragement...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning SanneL... burr and feeling the cold. Best thing to do is curl up in a ball and stay warm... Thanks for stopping in and you are so right... deal with the words before they become such an issue they eat away at everyone...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      Rolly, I appreciate your wisdom and advice. Hugs from FL to you and family.

    • SanneL profile image

      SanneL 5 years ago from Sweden

      It is a cold and rainy day here in Sweden, so it was nice to come here and sit by your fireside for a bit and feel the warmth spreading in the room. You have shared a very wise and encouraging message. I believe we are all guilty of harsh words and wrong actions in the heat of the moment that we wished never had taken place. However, we can make it right, as long as we are willing to recognise that we have been wrong, open up our hearts and learn from our mistakes. Thank you Rolly!

      Hugs from Sweden.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Lol...Rosemay50... "RIGHT"... you caught me on that one... and the many others I make. I like to say I put them in place just to give everyone something to laugh at... "WRITE"...

      Hugs to you as always... you are a dear.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Haha it is amazing just how often we 'writers' type 'write' when we mean 'right'. I see it over and over, must be conditioning.

      Enjoy your coming weekend

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Morning Rosemay50... Thanks for stopping and leaving a comment. You are so write when you say it is hard to backtrack and attempt to make amends.... Love having you visit.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      It is so easy to say something in the heat of the moment, or even just say something where what we mean is not clear, and it is taken the wrong way. The longer we leave something the harder it is to bactrack and apologise or forgive.

      I always enjoy reading your hubs, they always carry a good message that we can learn by.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Pam... glad you stopped in and shared with us the struggle... sorry to hear of the problem and yet I think we are compelled to be ever mindful of the actions of others. If the situation is not dealt with in a healthy manner it has a tendency to grow and grow. That is why if I have learned anything from all of this it is to deal with the hurt right away.

      I cannot understand why she hurt you as she did... you have always been such and encourager to many with a soft and kind heart. What ever the reason rest assured it is not your fault. Forgiveness is a gift to the perpetrator and should they fail to see that then you have done all you can do. Being on guard is a good thing as if the perp has an ulterior motive we only get hurt again...

      Hugs to you from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Christy... great to have you stop in and say hello. Funny you mention great memories after writing this hub I sat and made a list of a few of the ones I have of those days and even before as a child. It caused me to sit back and realize just what a wonderful childhood I had even though we had nothing. The simplicity of life was awesome in comparison to what we see today.

      As for Mrs. Robin saying good morning well I guess everyone should have a voice and she certainly has one. lol... and thanks for the good day you passed on.

      It was a great day... actually took up the golf clubs and blasted off a 9 hole round and came in 4 over... been 12 years since I attempted the game. So nice to get out again... so thank you...

      Hugs from Alberta

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Lifegate... thank you for the encouragement and the words of wisdom. I had struggled with this for three years until one day I realized I had done all the right things. Since I have put it behind me and yet stay guarded should the door ever open for fear of a motive to again get it started all over again. I have refused to live in another anger. It is not the way I have been called to live.

      Hugs from Canada

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      Rolly, Such a wonderful hub. We can only clean up our side of the street. I have done the best I can to do just that and I have often prayed a repentant prayer. My sister really hurt me a few years ago and I have really had to work to forgive her so the relationship has improved, but I don't think I could ever trust her again. I'm not mad anymore but self preservation also prevails. We don't have the same relationship anymore, but the future holds promise. Thanks for writing a hub on this particular topic. God Bless.

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I remember my dad's reel to reel system. You brought back great memories when you mentioned yours. I think that Robin is bidding you good (early) morning and I say have a great day my friend.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 5 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      You're absolutely right to be free of the anger of others. It is entirely their problem. If we've taken the steps to do right and we're rejected, the wrong lies with the other person. Most often they are the one that pays the heavy price. Bless you Rolly, for doing right!

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Good Morning Rahul... welcome to the Fireside. The first time here brings a warm welcome from all. I do hope you find some peace and rest here.

      Rolly

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Lesley... good to see you... always a pleasure to have you come along and warm the room with your smiles.

      Hugs from Across the Pond

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 5 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      A fantastic write!

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      It's always good to spend some fireside time with you, a wonderful message and pleasure to read, thank you Rolly.

      Take care and best wishes Lesley

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Gypsy Rose Lee... "We must always think carefully when we speak because someday it just may be our words someone will remember."

      Thank you for these words... they are awesome and amazing when you think of the impact...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Billy... hugs for the visit. Always a pleasure to see the dent in the pillow you leave. Quigley is gaining weight from all the crumbs... smiles. Always a pleasure to have you stop in the door is always open...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image
      Author

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Tamarajo... thank you so much for the comment and I stand in agreement with you. When I think of all the pain and suffering that can be caused with one simple words spoken in haste I shudder. Am I guilty of course I think we can fairly say we all are. Can we change it... yes we can and it starts with us...

      Hugs from Canada

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and beautiful. This is a wonderful piece. Reminded me of a lot of things like that I also have letters dad wrote, poetry in his handwriting and a cassette with his voice. Amazingly enough there are things I can remember talking to people about and conversations I can't recall at all. We must always think carefully when we speak because someday it just may be our words someone will remember.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It is always a pleasure to visit your site and partake in a little down-home wisdom from my northern neighbor. Great hub my friend; as always you are bringing the message and it's a message I enjoy!

    • Tamarajo profile image

      Tamarajo 5 years ago

      A wise exhortation. I have been on both ends of this problem and am so grateful for the forgiveness I've been given and liberated by the forgiving of others. Unforgiveness is a form of arrogance. It implies that we think we aren't as bad as the person who offended us and are entitled to make the person pay via emotional punishment. I think this is why Jesus asks us to forgive others so that He can forgive us. It always reminds us that there is no crime in humanity that can compare to the crimes we as individuals have committed against God and if He can forgive us than it is reasonable for Him to expect us to forgive others. It is always sad to see someone not let it go. Such a waste of time and emotion.

      Glad you were able to find some peace in this situation.