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What Kind Of Person Am I?

Updated on October 20, 2015
I am an outdoorsey type of person.
I am an outdoorsey type of person. | Source
I am illiterate.
I am illiterate. | Source

Looking into my soul through Google Glasses

Advertising drives the Internet, except for the parts about boring stuff like education. You can't visit a popular site without Google blasting miniature infomercials into your face. Google owns the ubiquitous company Ad Choices, which drops little rectangles of advertising joy onto pretty much every page in cyberspace.

Ad-blocking software can be downloaded and installed, but where's the fun in that? Who among us truly wants empty blocks of nothingness peppering their Internet experience? I know I crave interaction with Google and their artificially intelligent computers. As for me and my family, we will accept what Google craves to send us.

Maybe I live in Miami?
Maybe I live in Miami? | Source

It's Cheaper Than Psychoanalysis

Step aside, Freud. There's no longer a need for couch-based interaction with overpriced pseudo-science. We might easily learn more than enough about ourselves by simply observing our Google Ads.

The ads you see are tailored to you. Your Internet browsing history shapes the ads appearing on your pages. Google loves you and wants to know everything there is to know about you.

I am a flaming misguided liberal.
I am a flaming misguided liberal. | Source
I am a flaming misguided liberal who likes frozen pizza.
I am a flaming misguided liberal who likes frozen pizza. | Source

What's The Magic?

When you visit a web site, that site sends you a cookie. It's a small file maintained by your web browser. The site can put anything it wants into that file. When you go back to the site, that cookie is transmitted back to the web server.

There's a discrete cookie for each domain you visit on each page. Don't think that is the only domain you are visiting right now. For example, on this page there are cookies for AdChoices, HubPages, and any other sites that provide content.

Over time your browser will store hundreds or thousands of cookies on your computer. They are harmless relative to damaging your machine, but they are tracking devices reporting back to nameless faceless corporations on the Internet.

Don't worry too much: only the domain that sent the original cookie can retrieve the cookie at a later date. In other words, if you visit, then, the later cannot access the cookie dropped by the former. You may worry a little, however: since Google owns AdChoices your gmail account is solidly linked to your AdChoices history. They do share. Of course, Ford may share with Chevy indirectly through an advertisement clearing house or a massive cloud-based data infrastructure.

Evidently I like hipster soup
Evidently I like hipster soup | Source

Should I be scared?

"In the cloud" exists an extensive history of sites I've visited, based on the cookies AdChoices has received from me. And AdChoices is pretty much everywhere.

Look for the little triangle in the upper right corner of the ad: that's your visual cue. Click on the triangle to open a small menu of cool stuff you can do to the ad. You can block it or report it. You can whine about it to the Google conglomerate. Somewhere in a database your feedback will be recorded and collated. If sufficient numbers of Internet denizens agree with you, then the ad could be rejiggered or eliminated entirely.

It's no understatement to assert the dominance of Google in Internet advertising. They are no dummies. They make the rules and they are pretty much ruthless in enforcement.

I like to watch TV
I like to watch TV | Source

How Does Google Make Money?

Advertisers contract with AdChoices. Each time an ad appears on your page the impression count ticks up by one. Impressions are free. Advertisers care very much about impressions because an impression can turn into a customer.

Google makes a buck, or a penny, more or less, when you click on the ad. Clicking on the ad causes a digital paroxysm of activity across web servers. The advertiser is charged. The charge may be a few pennies or many dollars. The charge is based on a bidding system that is a function of keywords selected by the advertiser.

Keywords can cost pennies per click or many dollars. Keyword values change over time as bidding ebbs and flows. A general price range is established but advertisers can set limits on what they will pay. The most expensive keywords are those related to prescription drugs and lawyers. I don't think there's a connection between these two industries, except the obvious. Soup keywords probably don't cost all that much.

I don't know what this is.
I don't know what this is. | Source


In conclusion, I should be working on my dissertation rather than expounding on Google. I'm almost to 700 words so I will be concluding now.

700 words and a few High Quality images and a poll and a map will get me to Featured Hub status. Even if I'm not featured my article will nevertheless find itself splattered with Google Ads. HubPages makes money when an ad is clicked. I think I do, too, but Im not sure. If I had to survive on my HubPages earnings I'd be on government assistance and free health care and WIC and free housing and all the things flaming liberals want me to have.

Do you care that Google has a profile on you?

See results
I like fruit, according to Google
I like fruit, according to Google | Source
I am in debt.
I am in debt. | Source

Advertising House, Burghmuir Cir, Blackhall Industrial Estate, Inverurie, Aberdeenshire AB51 4FS, UK

I don't dress like this. Honest.
I don't dress like this. Honest. | Source

This hub has been well-received

Excited, I am, to see over one comment in the comments capsule. I make every effort to respond to all comments except my own because that would be creepy.

Do you believe this article will shortly eclipse 1000 words? Where did the time go?


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    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 2 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @drbj : Thanks to you I might earn another one someday.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      I have so many degrees I regret I did not take a course in Mnemonics. Did enjoy the Google info though - who knew?

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 2 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @breakfastpop No one is prepared for the Google Inquisition

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 2 years ago

      My college degree did not prepare me for the Google world. Thanks for enlightening me.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 2 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @billybuc : I love Google too. Between us we have many degrees.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I only have three degrees so I'm not educated enough to understand Google. Thankfully I just don't care. Writing is important to is a passion....and if I help someone with it that's my bonus...Google can take a leap off a tall building. :)