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Funny Things You Should Not Say To Your Boyfriend

Updated on January 15, 2017
stricktlydating profile image

Hubpages writer StricktlyDating is an Australian writer creating pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

You want to keep your boyfriend, right?  Well there's a few times you need to hold your tongue! Don't say these things to your boyfriend, or you're asking for trouble!

Things you should not say to your boyfriend

  • Good things come to those who wait, but you'll do until then.
  • Funny but I feel more single than in a relationship with you.
  • My last boyfriend was bigger. Umm, more buff I mean!
  • I'm going to stick with you for financial reasons.
  • I've told my girl friends you and me are just friends.
  • I still have occasional desires for my ex boyfriend.
  • I love you BUT I'm not sure that I am actually in love with you.
  • I don't want to change my Facebook status to show we are in a relationship.
  • Look, I'm sorry but it either me or your dog.
  • You know that you are Mr right now, and I'm not in love, don't you?
  • Just because I can depend on you doesn't mean you can depend on me.
  • Although we are in a relationship right now I could change my mind about that at any time.
  • I think you should realize from now on I make all the rules.
  • You weren't my first choice for a boyfriend, but the one I wanted wasn't interested in a relationship.
  • I've slept with hotter guys before you.
  • My ex taught me a lot of tricks, he was into kinky things!
  • I wish you looked more like my ex.
  • I've had some great one-night-stands.
  • I'm still registered on a few online dating sites.
  • I tell all my friends about our bedroom antics.
  • I'm never going to be the one who treats you like you're so special.
  • I'm not completely attracted to your body. From now on dim the lights.
  • I don't really like your friends much. You should spend less time with them.
  • I don't like your mother that much.
  • The more I get to know you the more I wonder if you're going to be good enough.
  • Your best friend is hot. So is your dad.
  • I've got a little crush on your brother / cousin / a work mate.
  • My best friend / sister has a huge crush on you.
  • This is OK, but I have to be honest, I'm not feeling love.
  • I'm ready to have your baby.
  • I refuse to allow you to go on a night out drinking with your mates.
  • You're a really bad kisser - it grosses me out!
  • When you're not around, I sometimes see someone else.
  • Are you SURE you're not gay?
  • Can I call your ex to confirm exactly why you broke up with her?
  • I'm happy for now but I don't see you in my long term future.
  • My Facebook Friends flirt with me all the time.
  • I still SMS my ex-boyfriend sometimes, only when I'm bored.
  • Luckily you are good looking because I think you're kind of boring.
  • If you do not realize that your world should revolve around me than I want to break up.
  • I'll never trust you When you go out without me.
  • I took returned the jewelry you bought me because I wanted the cash.
  • I don't want anyone to know we're a couple. Lets just keep that between you and me.
  • I won't have time to see you on your birthday.
  • Please call my boss and tell him I can't come in because I'm having bad menstrual cramps and I have a really heavy flow.
  • I asked your dad to give you advice about how to be more sensual.
  • I asked your Grandma for a loan to buy a horse.
  • I've enrolled you in my dance class.
  • Sometimes I feel like I'm too hot to be with someone like you.
  • I called your ex for relationship advice.
  • Wow, I never realised you were so boring until we become a couple.
  • I can't believe I have NOTHING in common with you AT ALL!
  • I asked your boss to call me if he sees you flirting.
  • I'm like the opposite of you, and you're like really lazy and boring.
  • If you don't tell me your movements at all times I will assume you're cheating.
  • In my past relationships I always ended up cheating.
  • I could have another you in a minute!
  • I look through your mobile phone when you're not around. Sorry.


© 2010 StricktlyDating

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    • Ranzi profile image

      Cut The Bullshit 

      7 years ago from All Over

      haha loved it - At time I've said most of the above and it made the guy more crazy about me. Maybe the masochists ones lol

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      My ex talks to me,but secretly. He tells me that he wants me back an I keep falling for him. Hes a jerk and plays a lot of girls. What can I tell him to keep him away and what can I do to get over him??

      - Twinkie5

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      ma current boyfrnd got to know about ma ex. from outer source nd nw he misunderstand me i love him nd dnt want to loose him....what to idea.....any suggestions?

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Australia

      Yes, I hope there are some girls out there have said or do use some of these quotes, it would be quite funny considering the situation! Of course, only if they aren't serious with their man!

    • Ebower profile image

      Erin Bower 

      8 years ago from Georgia

      This is quite funny, but I'm sure there are girls out there that have said all or at least some of these things! Great hub; I voted it up and funny!

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Australia

      Yes AshleyRB, he'd probably choke if you said that!

    • AshleyRB profile image


      9 years ago from United States

      Oh my goodness! "I'm ready to have your baby right now!" ?

      That would scare anybody away! lol

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I heard if you talk about how hot other guys are, cheating on your ex boyfriends, how ugly he is etc., he'll eventually blow up at you. Most guys can't handle it.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Hahahahahahaha...Have I said a few of these....I think so! No wonder we broke up! lol

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Australia

      Thanks for your comment padmendra!

    • padmendra profile image


      9 years ago from DELHI/NCR

      Yes, I do agree with you. One has to keep the secret of his past love life which was broken due to some tradegy or misunderstanding away from boyfriend. Talking lavishly also damage the relationship and it is always better to concentrate on your boyfriend rather than looking here and there.

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Australia

      Thanks Tom!

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 

      9 years ago from home

      interesting but you forgot- "sorry,

      "I don't date outside my species."


      "I would rather gauge my eyes out." or

      "They just laugh."


    • lurpak34 profile image


      9 years ago from Hastings, UK

      Ha ha, an amusing list..But how about a little twist?

      What about a list of things GUYS shouldn't say to WOMEN? Or should? What really turns you off or on? Just a thought!..


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