ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What The (bleep) is Happening at Riverdale High?

Updated on February 19, 2011

Archie and the Gang are really starting to get my goat! I've been reading Archie comics since comics were 10 cents a piece and Coca-Cola was a nickel. for over 40 years when I picked up my first Archie comic, Archie and his friends (the gang) were in High School. 40 years later, a Comic will cost me 2 bucks, a Coke is close to a dollar, and Archie is still in High School! Oh sure, every so often you can pick up an Archie comic where they show you how it was when Archie was Little Archie, Betty was Little Betty, and so on. Every once in a while they will put out a futuristic Archie comic, where even Archie drives a flying car (correction: a flying jalopy), and where Veronica is being driven around by her chauffeur, Smithers, in a Flying Limo. But for the most part- these kids have been stuck in a High School time warp. Flutesnoot is still the music teacher, Weatherbee the Principal, and Svenson is still pushing a mop. The teachers must have tenure at that school, even though they sure have a lousy record regarding turnover of student body! Who has been asleep at the wheel when giving out accredidations for High Schools in this area? How did they let this one slip through the cracks, people?! How did Laura Bush's "No Child Left Behind" miss this one?

By now, Mr. Lodge (richest man in all of Riverdale) should have yanked his only child, Veronica, from that school and put her in a private school where she might be able to graduate some day! Dilton Doily should have been in an excelled class because of his genious, but the school is like a pinball machine- each year that you think these kids are finally going to graduate, some comic Pinball Wizard knocks them right back into another series of Prom nights and other high school high jinks and they never get out! It's like High School hell!

Please, stop the insanity!! Have Flutesnoot lead the band in Pomp and Circumstance already! Give the class dummy, Moose Mason, an honorary diploma before he gets so old that he needs a walker to get out on the football field! Tell Archie to get out and get a job! I am sure that the Andrews, Coopers, Lodges and Jones, etc... would like their grown children to move out of the house some day! It's time, it's really time.

I made a Bucket List some time ago, after watching that Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman movie of the same name. On the list, I put down a lot of things that I know I will never get to. This was done in the hopes that if I never accomplished what is on my list, I can't die. After recently picking up the latest issue of "Archie and the gang" at my local supermarket, and upon opening the 1st page only to see that "the gang" was still in school - you guessed it... I have since added to my Bucket List the following:

#72. I want to live to see Archie Andrews and the rest of the kids at Riverdale High Graduate!

Do you think I'll live forever? I don't know, but I'd love to believe that I will still be alive, a proud reader with a tear in my eye- when I read about those kids walking down the aisle, wearing a cap and gown, diplomas in hand. And I pray that I don't go out in a "cloud of dust" never knowing.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • trusouldj profile image

      trusouldj 

      6 years ago from Indiana

      I too am frustrated with Archie. Shouldn't he be in a nursing home by now? They had a tv movie years ago where the gang got married and came back home for a reunion, but it didn't transfer to the comics -- not permanently anyway. Isn't it about time for Riverdale High, The Next Generation? Or is it just me?

    • Anita Sue profile imageAUTHOR

      Anita Sue 

      7 years ago

      Kind sir, Your suggestions are much appreciated, as is your opinion!

      Anita

    • Reynold Jay profile image

      Reynold Jay 

      7 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

      All right now! This is a big winner and I have no critical comments for this one. Nicely focused on the one big idea and funny, funny, funny. Add more tags to draw in Readers and try to get "Archie" in the Header. Tags might be Coke, Coca Cola, Prom, comic book, old comics, No child left behind, Betty, High school, cap and gown, jalopy, Pinball Wizard, and maybe names of the characters. Veronica etc.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)