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What if Zombies Really Exist?
Zombie Beach for the Undead
What does zombie survival mean to you? Probably not much if you do not believe zombies are real. Can you really take a chance, given the vast evidence of their existence in zombie movies and TV shows we see all around us? How often has our media foreshadowed reality in the past? The reality is that the zombie lifestyle is being emulated every day in our cities. How long will it be before we face the reality of live undead corpses chasing us down our streets? Yes, zombie survival may seem an abstract concept right now, but can we trust our society to continue to treat the zombie lifestyle as a prank or harmless pastime?
Zombie survival is the theme of Hollywood and many parts of our economy these days. We watch zombie movies, TV and media stories these days, as if the undead were running Hollywood and a glorified promotion machine for this alternative lifestyle. It seems real enough that people have joined groups to simulate zombie hoards, dressing down and stumbling along streets, just like we used to emulate our idols in past decades. It is the first step in making our fantasies real.
But, what if zombies were real? What if there was a sub-culture existing under our very noses? Would we even be aware of this, as we move from our garages to our cars to our offices and then back home? The pace of life has accelerated to the state where we are oblivious to the details of life around us. Have you stopped to look at the people around you, shuffling off to their daily itinerary just like you, a zombie to a schedule of repeating events?
There is the zombie mentality, the zombie lifestyle and finally, the zombie transformation as we pass from the living to the undead. Let's take each of these in turn, examine how real they are and how can we survive this zombie apocalypse looming on our horizons.
The Zombie Mentality
Do you think like a zombie? Is your day a mindless shuffle from one brain-dead activity to another. Can you remember what you did yesterday, last week or last month? If your memories are a blur of blank stares and aimless wandering without purpose, then you are technically a zombie mind. You think like a zombie, as in you don't think at all except where is your nearest food source to eat. Eat, shuffle your feet, eat, shuffle your feet. Welcome to Zombieland, one of the must-see zombie movies you need to watch.
Every Zombie into the Pool!
The Zombie Lifestyle
How do zombies spend their leisure time? We learn from movies and TV that they like night life, crowds and loud noises. They have trouble with locked doors, barred windows and climbing stairs. They also have terrible skin and cannot speak clearly. So, mindless mingling to loud noises where you cannot have a conversation to save your life, in large open spaces like streets or parks are the natural fun zones for zombies. Say the beach, the garden park, the town square, the boulevard of broken dreams, the street dance party or any place where large crowds congregate. Hang around these places and you are living the zombie lifestyle, so vividly portrayed in zombie movies like Shawn of the Dead and Dawn of the Dead.
Zombie Statues are part of our Past
The Zombie Transformation
What happens when you die? Does your soul leave your body for an elevated existence in some heavenly/hellish dimension beyond our comprehension? If so, your body remains. I believe this is the evidence we have of death. Something inside us stops but the carcass of humanity remains. This is the source of zombie flesh, the husk of our physical form lying "dead" as we pass on to some other plane of existence. So, we quickly dispose of our bodies in the normal fashion, perhaps too quickly for the transformation to the undead to occur. We do not know exactly how long or under what conditions the undead transformation takes hold of our bodies. We do know that our natural state of decay reduces our flesh into the source elements which we are made of: water, minerals, gases and so on. The energy contained in our bodies is returned to a base state of elements, to be re-used by nature to create new life. This explains why zombies have to eat, to feed on the living, to replenish their decaying bodies before they disintegrate. To understand the transformation to a zombie, you have to find the spark that creates this process. Just like life has a spark of union between male and female, there must be a spark between body and soul that separated them and re-animated the flesh into undead souls. This, of course, has not been a field of research that has been well-funded (except by Hollywood) so we have little hard evidence of how this happens. That is why the zombie transformation is such a mystery to us today.
Until the scientific community applies their vast resources and intellect into exploring this phenomenon, we will not have the answers to how and when and under what conditions the zombie is born. However, given the vast lore of stories and third-hand evidence of their existence and our BURNING DESIRE to believe in life after death, both for our soul and our bodies, no one can state with absolute certainty that zombies do not exist. Yes, we see them every day in their minds and lifestyles. We just haven't applied the rigor of the scientific method to the proof of the undead.
Claude Monet's Zombie flower garden in Giverny
List of Zombie Movies
- Zombie Movies at the Box Office - Box Office Mojo
Top Grossing Zombie Movies at the Box Office.
- List of zombie films - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Wikipedia is a great source of all things zombie (as it is maintained by public volunteers - duh! who are not constrained by the scientific community's disdain for undead research.
Shawn of the Dead zombie movie trailer
Zombie Survival Guide
If you are reading this, you are probably alive or part of the zombie survivalist movement. Yes, we all share the desire to live a satisfying life which doesn't end by being eaten by a horde of slobbering zombies. Start by watching all the Resident Evil zombie movies. Then, learn the basic rules of zombie survival. They are simple:
- Run like hell if you see a crowd of zombies heading your way. Zombies cannot run and you should be able to escape. Just don't stare rooted in your place in horror as they approach.
- Climb higher than the tallest zombie's outstretched hands. So many humans forget, in their panic, to climb a tree or pole or something tall because the simple fact is that zombies are not coordinated enough to climb anything except stairs.
- Fight if you must by decapitating every zombie close to you. Yes, there is some brain power needed to move their limbs and if you sever the brain from the torso, they cannot keep it together enough to eat you. So, chop chop and get to work.
- If you are hopelessly outnumbers and without an escape, kill yourself first before they chew on your flesh. Do not chose a slow-acting method of death, as you usually will not have much time to act. So, think fast and act even faster.