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Is This Love That I'm Feeling?

Updated on June 19, 2013

I don’t know what’s happening

But it’s gone on a month or two

Is it the end of the life I know

Or, the start of something new?

What is this that’s ailing me?

Senses are gone; vision is blurry.

My stomach's in knots

Or is it butterflies?

These unfamiliar symptoms

I don’t recognize!

Day after day, I cannot eat

I’m wobbly on my own two feet.

I’ve become weak in the knees

Terrified of a heavy breeze.


My heart is racing, my palms; they sweat.

Humming the tune of every duet.

An awkward smile and I don’t know why

Appropriate emotions, no longer apply.

My heart is full, of what I’m not sure

Yet an emptiness that’s hard to endure.

Random moments of jealousy

I admit, take over me.

Doodling flowers and rainbows,

And a big bubbly heart

Unfamiliar surname by my name

I'm coming apart.

Have I forgotten my name,

I can’t keep it straight?

I just can’t think, can’t concentrate!

I need to know

I must figure this out

Please tell me,

Is this what love’s all about?

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    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Cat

      This is absolutely beautiful!You've captured the beginnings of the first tidal wave of love perfectly.Awesome,with a proud thumbs up!

      Yours truly,

      Romeo's Quill.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      R.Q.

      A pleasant surprise seeing you here... I wouldn't have expected to see you for hours :-)

      Thank you... it was a good reason to get out of the garden for a moment :-)

      Gee... we must've been pushing submit at the same time!

      Yours Truly,

      Cat

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Cat

      You know what they say...." Great minds think alike! "lol!

      The weather must have improved somewhat,from yesterday then,if it's good enough to do some gardening.

      How does your garden grow? :)

      Truly,

      R.Q.

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Awww...this was a lovely poem. May I recommend "Falling in Love Tonight" by Isaac White? Not that I'm pushing anybody, but it's something that seems to fit this poem. Anyway, voted it up beautiful!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      writinglover,

      Aw, thank you! I've seen you around but you look different, your eyes, they look so sad... I want to reach through the computer and hug you :-)

      Okay, maybe the mush is getting to me, but what a cute picture :-)

      Yes, I will certainly check out "Falling in Love Tonight" by Isaac White; I always appreciate a good recommendation... I will also have to find my way to your pages as I'm ashamed I have failed to do so thus far. :-)

      Thanks so much for stopping and I'm honored you enjoyed it.

      Cat

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 4 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Not at all. Hope to see you!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      R.Q.

      Oh, my apologies, seriously... I didn't see you sneak in there above writinglover.

      Oh yes, the weather is so much more beautiful today... the sun it is shining brightly and warm.

      How does my garden grow? With silver bells and cockle shells and inspiration you'll never know :-)

      Great minds... well, I'd be proud to be placed in a category with the likes of you! :-)

      Yours Truly,

      Cat

    • Romeos Quill profile image

      Romeos Quill 4 years ago from Lincolnshire, England

      Cat

      Yes;I snook in like a ninja,without writinglover seeing me :)

      I think the "Great minds...."quote is just an expression,but it did seem an uncanny coincidence that you posted your Hub almost simultaneously with mine.I like happy coincidences...they're usually good omens of latent mystery...

      Truly,

      R.Q.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      R.Q.

      No seriously :D... I'm sure you weren't stressing it but I was. Here notification came in through my feed and when I clicked on it, my page scrolled directly to her comment, then I went back to my email and "What do you mean Romeos Quill just commented on my hub?" I would never skip you ;-)

      Like a ninja... hahaha, you're too funny!

      Well, to that... I must say then, great minds think alike... I too appreciate "happy coincidences" and I believe they just might be more than that :-)

      Yours,

      Cat

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well, Cat, you have quite the devoted followers here....LOL

      A whole week or two of being in love? I hope it lasts....or was this just a poet's whimsy? :)

      Loved the poem my friend. Keep them coming and I'll keep reading.

      bill

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Billy,

      What can I say, my people are good to me :-) But really, you want to discuss followers? ;-)

      Yes, Billy, it's true! A whole week, maybe two... I just know it'll last... it's my love for humanity!

      I will and you better! :-) I know you've got a new one up I'm past due for!

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Cat

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Over ten years and I still get that about once a day, I think she knows it. But let us not tell anyone else.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Eric,

      Ha ha, cute... I just knew you were special, the world probably knows too, but I'll keep my lips sealed :-)

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Cat

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 4 years ago from Morocco

      I know the feeling.I was there too.You are so strong,you will get over the trouble waters to the safe side.With spirits you show here and there,You can make it by your own.Your passion covers everything .

      The poem is beautiful and well-penned.I voted up.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      James,

      Can you see through my cover? Oops! These awkward and confusing feelings are bittersweet, but alas, they are meerly something of a whimsy. I certainly welcome these feelings, despite the fact that when we open our heart we leave it vulnerable to breaking. Your heart might be a little bruised right now, but your spirit is not!

      Thank you so much James,

      Cat

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 4 years ago from Morocco

      Cat,

      Do not open too much your heart to people because one day some of them will use that against you to destroy you.Just be cautious , give only drops and leave inner-self secrets veiled .

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      James,

      You know what... you are right and very perceptive. I bet you wouldn't be surpised to learn that that is exactly what I do and I do it often. I've already experienced it a little, from time to time... you think I'd learn my lesson? :-) Thank you, it's actually good to hear someone say it out loud, I appreciate the advice and I'm glad you care, it means a lot.

      I hope tomorrow is brighter than today!

      Cat

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Take me back why don't you. 3 days ago my brother brought me a movie we made in high school. It contains memories of my late wife when she was 16.

    • Man of Strength profile image

      Man of Strength 4 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Hi, Cat. Very interesting. I felt like I was on a thrill ride, maneuvering through varying emotions. I'm almost dizzy! A very well paced piece.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 4 years ago from Texas

      Wonderfully put. Reminds me of teen love!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Mhatter99,

      I'm honored to think this could bring special memories of your time with your late wife... I know from reading many of your pieces that some love just never dies and I feel it in your words. I bet watching that movie was bittersweet... but try, hard as it may, focusing on all that sweet, I know there must've been plenty!

      Thank you Martin :-)

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Man of Stregth,

      Ha, thanks! I know from reading one of your lovely hubs the other day... you know what I'm talking about here! Dizzy; welcome to my world! :-)

      ... and love ain't got nothin' to do with it!

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      shanmarie,

      Well thank you dear... yes it reminds me of teen love too... it's been a while :-(

      Thanks for coming over! :-)

      Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Don't worry, please don't worry my love, here me is !!!!!!! Your hub prince in shining armour with a brand new codpiece for the occasion , lol.

      Love the words here my precious Cat - I wish I had written them for they have been graced by a poetic goddess , indeed.

      Good news too, my doctor today says my heart is good. I was just low on potassium. My blood work is good too. Everything is a go.

      My blood pressure was way up earlier this week (probably thinking about you in dat thong again, lol) as you know and I have another blood pressure pill to take care of that - so this will be a Sunday to remember in terms of my birthday with my good health news story.

      And most importantly how is your son feeling after his upsetting day?

      How is his mum feeling? Please mum go out this weekend and do something special for yourself , okay? And give your little man a big hug from me and 2 high five paws from my cats.

      It was so good to get home from the congested noisy city where my doctor is - it was paradise to get back here and to my cats. Amen.

      I brought home some haggis and black pudding - have you ever tried that? And a nice bottle of red wine. I will toast 'a glass' of red tonight to the health and happiness of your entire family - and in the words of Neil Young - Long may you run.

      love and hugs from C and T and G

      lake erie time 4:39pm

      I love these affecting poetic words on this page - you are such a divine romantic and an earthbound angel to me

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Dearest Colin,

      There you is!!! I was starting to feel silly; I built it and you did not come :-)

      I’m guessing your doctor isn’t rocket scientist on the side… I could’ve told you your heart was good without a fee! :-) Seriously, I couldn’t be happier to hear it and thank you for relieving my worries by letting me know. You better get eating those bananas! Seriously, though, get that potassium up, that’s important!

      I’m so happy your health is looking up, now let’s keep it that way! …and I’ll try to stop walking in front of the sun in that damn dress :-)

      Oh, Colin… I have a big huge heart circled around the 19th as I know that is the biggest holiday of the year :-) I pray you have a great one… let me know if you don’t have any special plans; it’ll take me a while to canoe over… I’ll have to leave shortly :-)

      Thanks for asking about me boy, he’s doing just fine, you’d never know anything happened… he has a follow up in a week or so… just to make sure all is well.

      I’m doing great… better now that I’m home from being away all day and what a treat to hear from my prince of the hub :-) Thank you for wishing me off on a good time, I will try to enjoy some warm sun on Saturday, I hear it’s expected to be beautiful. But I’m happy just bein’ here reading your wonderful poetry and hearing from you :-)

      You know Dorothy says; “There’s no place like home” and you… you always make home sound so divine, especially with the help from those furry felines :-)

      I have never tried haggis and black pudding… I’m not even sure I’ve heard of either, but you’ve peaked my interest.

      Cheers to you Colin and being a better friend than any Cat could ever ask for… I will spread your love and me and mine send it back to you tenfold!

      Love and Hugs

      Cat

      And you… you are an angel to me (Sometimes I have to wear sunglasses due to the overwhelming bright glow of your halo :-)

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      Cat , Now ! had you fallen in love with this old guy he would have taken you into the world of huge , huge ,HUGE bear hugs and maybe even one or two juicy lip puckers , LOL.......Oh well , another one bites the dust , my life story .......:-}

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      .........and Cat when you come over in your sacred power driven canoe in which I hope is the size of the Queen Mary and has a spa fit for the queen of the day and a wine bar to boot - I will be standing on this side 'wearing my canoe' said Groucho Colin, lol, with a wink.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Bear hugs and juicy lip puckers... it's never too late Ed, never too late! ;-)

      Well, if you're ever passing out free bear hugs... you know where to find me! Thanks for my evening smile Ed!

      With Cub Hugs,

      Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Just listening to a lovely album featuring the unmistakable voice of Sting with a lute player and singing tunes from the Elizabethan era.

      And yes I am very glad and relieved your little man is getting another check up next week.

      Thank you for this loving welcome home - and listen to a song by Crowbar at You Tube called Oh What a feeling -

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Oh Colin, hahaha! Yeah, something tells me my canoe will be nothing more than a toothpick by the time I fight the rapids getting to you and I'll surely lose my oars, but it would all be worth it! That reminds me... how's that back of yours? I know you've been carrying a large load and tripping a lot recently :-)

      Wink wink Baby!

      Your Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Ooh, that sounds lovely :D

      I will let you know how my little man makes out and both the wee ones want mum to tell Uncle Colin hello and give him a hug back :-)

      I'm opening the You Tube as we speak!

      Thank you, your suggestions are always such a pleasant treat!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      I just listened to a lovely version of the Everly Brothers' Let it be me (one of my favorite tunes) as performed by George Harrison

      and another favorite of mine , Smile , by Nat King Cole or Barbara Striesand (it was written by Charlie Chaplin)

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Aw, I love me some Everly Brothers and their mushy romantic stuff. That George Harrison ain't no slouch either... I believe he used to belong to a relatively popular group... if only I could remember the name :D

      Wow, you're playing on the softer side tonight Colin? Little Nat King Cole and Barbara Striesand too? Charlie Chaplin, you're kidding me?

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 4 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Sounds like you've been 'twitterpated'

      Very good description of that initial 'falling in love' sensation.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Wayne... if only :-)

      I've played on the playground before :D... I was feeling inspired ;-)

      Thanks Wayney,

      Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Well my Cool Cat of ultimate hotness I am still 'feeling' it - in fact with you right now - the warmth and the glow just cannot go away.

      Yes Charlie Chaplin was the songwriter of Smile - it's a very popular song in the public domain( even Michael Jackson had a crack at it) and it's a true classic right up there with Over the Rainbow and As time goes by - and I wanna be your dog????? lol lol

      Yes I love Iggy Pop and the Stooges , that is the rock and roll rebel in me of course and you must travel to the Tube of You and check out I wanna be your dog - one of my all time 'punk' favorites and this will be my wedding song one day, lol

      I met Iggy once at an autograph session years ago in the 90's at Tower Records (and in his private life, like Alice Cooper, he is quite a golf nut, believe it or not) so when I moved up to the front of the line - I asked Iggy - "Mister Pop could you sign my balls please?" He looked up and laughed when he saw me holding a pair of golf balls - which he signed.

      I also met Liberace years ago in Toronto as he was heading to a book signing session and he actually knelt down to my level (I was a little boy) and shook my hand so warmly and said How are you son? I was always so taken by his nice manner. Even little kids aren't fools - they know when they are being treated with respect.

      So imagine that Iggy Pop and Liberace? lol

      I also met the entire cast of SNL back in 1978 and saw the dress rehearsal and the live show and received a hug from Gilda Radner, shook hands with Bill Murray, John Belushi and Danny Ackroyd . One of the greatest nights of my life - other than the one you and I were floating down the Nile on an open cruise ship and I was feeding you grapes and we made fine wine together, lol.

      Good day so far and I am listening to a lovely J.S. Bach symphony and feeling good about my doctor's report.

      I hope all is well with you dear Cat and your family and I will write back to you later on ....lake erie time 12:13pm

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      TOOOOOT-TOOOOT- !..............:-}

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Oh Colin; be still my heart! :-)

      Well, you've never steered me wrong thus far, but I will certainly have to check out I wanna be your dog... as I do believe it's only fair that I have a say in our wedding song too ;-) Oh... the trick to asking idols to sign your balls it to actually hold a set in your hands?!!! Hey, what'ya doin' next Friday night? There's a band coming to town and I'd like to take you as my guest. :D That's sooo cool Colin, though not nearly as cool as you! You deserve to meet and be respected by all your musical fans... you have such an beautiful love of music and it's a love that I share with you! You know... we could meet halfway sometime :-)

      SNL too?!!! Wow, Colin... I'm envious as hell!!! You have been around haven't you? That night on the Nile was magical wasn't it... I still have the memories :-)

      ... and I'm feeling good about your doctor's report too... I want to be kept up to date... and that's an order!

      I'm sorry I missed your message... i've been in and out so many times today... and every time I sit at the computer... something pulls me away. I'm happy now though!!!! You're the best Colin... only 5 more hours... not even! :D

      Big huge evening hug, just as the sun is winking goodbye!

      Your Cat

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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Shit... did I miss the ride? Ed... are you still there? I'm home... you can come by and toot again!!! :D

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Keep smooching me my precious Cat and tell me this is not all a dream.

      Having a nice stir fry I whipped up from a leftover whole chicken:

      chicken pieces, peanuts, mushrooms, noodles and honey garlic sauce and I am having it outside on my deck with both cats by my side.

      I love this time of night here by the lake in the summer and I call it the mellow time or the magic time when the light changes - it would even inspire the French Impressionists.

      Talk to you later on tonight and hugs and smooches right back from your Canadian male admirer and esteemed colleague - lake erie time 7;30pm

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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Please forgive the delay... I was whipping up a cake mix ;-)

      Yummy, your dinner sounds much more lovely than mine... One day we shall eat together :-)

      Ha, even the French Impresionists! It is beautiful... and unavoidable... the sun is trying to scream... "Don't make me go!" through my windows. :-)

      Aw... I accept them with an eagerness!

      Your very fond Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Listening to a fabulous Doo Wop collection from the 50's - such romantic music too. They certainly don't sing like that anymore and with such heart and meaning.

      Gabe and I just came back from an evening stroll and the night sky is taking over now at lake erie time 8:36pm and even Little Miss Tiffy followed us for a bit - I think I told you that was my mum's cat and she is 18 and a fountain of youth.

      My mum died back in 2004 but did I tell you she still makes visits here and moves thing around - it's a wonder she doesen't tell me to turn that noise down.

      I love the N.Y. sound - Lou Reed, Mink deVille, Suicide, Television, the Ramones, the New York Dolls, early Blondie, Garland Jeffreys, the Velvet Underground ..... that may happen here later on tonight - things may get fookin' crazy here ..... lol.

      I will check in with you a little later after I get a little buzz from the wine and think about my favorite Cat scene where Audrey Hepburn goes back in the pouring rain and rescues her cat which is called Cat and it's at the end of - Breakfast at Tiffany's - you can see that particular scene at You Tube - it will make you cry

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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Oh Colin... I should've known you appreicate Doo Wop! I love me some Doo Wop, that era particularly... but the modern-day Lauren Hill has some Doo Wops that have quite the wop to them :-)

      No Colin... I did not know Tiffy was your mother's cat... that makes her all the more special.

      I am sorry your mother had to leave this place but I can absolutely understand that she would stop in and see you as often as she can, as you are someone no one would ever want to leave behind, especially a mother. Perhaps she likes listening to the beautiful music you've always got playing, though I have to admit... I can hear it from my house sometimes :-)

      I don't want to get too distracted and burn my cake, it is a very special one, but I will pull up the YouTube as I just adore your musical recommendations and nobody knows music like my Colin.

      It is the eve of a very special day Colin... things ought get fookin' crazy there!!!

      Oooh, looking forward to you with a buzz, I can barely contain myself with you sober! :D

      Definitely will have to check out the lovely Audrey and her cat Cat... I'll bring a tissue with me.

      Thanks Colin... you're a doll!!!

      HUGS and KISSES to you and your darling, oh so special cats!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      ....yes things may get crazy here but I don't know about the fookin' part, lol lol lol lol - see you later with a belly full of wine.

      Oh yes I am listening to an all lady Mariachi band called Mariachi Divas - and when I hear Mexican music I can make love (easily) to all of the women in the world, no shit. lol But I am saving myself for one special lady - T A C - it is spelled backwards, lol.

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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Ha ha ha... well as far as the fookin' part... we do want to keep you on that good health note you're on :D

      I'll be waiting! Just don't drink too much... I'd like to wish you a Happy Birthday before you pass out :D

      What am I doing, sitting here talking... I've got a grocery list of YouTubin' to do!!! And I'll let you know after I've cracked the code! ;-)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      ....crack the code. lol. We're talkin' Epi-man the musicologist, that may be hard to do.

      And don't worry I only sip my wine but I DRINK you.

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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Oh Colin... you're too clever! You're making me blush.... and that's quite hard to do ;-)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      You are my muse, lol, I am working on a new piece called - I drink you.

      I had a little nap but I am back up now at 1:00am and I am listening to a novelty album called Punk goes classic rock, lol, and it covers popular tunes like More than a feeling, Pour some sugar on me, Free Fallin', Rock and roll all nite, We are the Champions, but in machine gun style with faster tempos, lol, and Little Miss Tiffy ran outside in feline diva disgust , lol

      Still about to have my first glass of wine and to toast to you my beautiful friend on my birthday to the health and happiness of you and your entire family. Back in a bit, love and hugs from the 'ynroh' birthday boy , lol , (spell it forwards)

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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Oh Colin... you slept at the very moment it became your birthday! :D That's okay, you only sleep if your body needs it!

      Wow, what an interesting sounding album... I'm definitely going to check that out... ASAP, I'm curious! Oh that Tiffy sounds like such an interesting little character! :D

      Cheers to you Colin... I hope today will be more special than most... you certainly deserve it! To health and happiness!!! Hugs and love to you!!!!

      TI ... I spelled it backwards :D

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      ....everyday since I've met you Cat has been a special day for me - it was a miracle on the day we found each other.

      Tell me too what pieces of music that I recommended - pleased you the most.

    • mr-veg profile image

      mr-veg 4 years ago from Colorado United States

      Nice one Cat, you have expressed the sweetness of love so sweetly :) You got it all in there with those lovely thoughts of yours... You are as always sweet n awesome :D

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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      mr-veg! Hey, I was just thinking about you today. It's been a while since I've seen you last... I know, the phone works both ways :-) I am close to passing out, but I will most definitely try to swing by your way tomorrow!

      Thank you so much for you wonderful comments and sweet compliments. I am so happy you dropped by and you can look forward to seeing me your way very soon!

      Your dear friend,

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Dearest Colin,

      Oh, I am so deeply sorry I left you hanging up there like that. I don't know what happened! You are a miracle and I am grateful for you! Every song has been a treat, but when I’m not holding me lids with one hand and typing with the other, I will have to rummage through them and see if I can possible narrow it down to two! :D

      Big hugs Col to you and Tiffy and Gabriel for you very appreciative Cat

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      dreamseeker2 4 years ago

      Very cool poem. : ) How did I miss this one?? Loved it! Thanks for sharing it with us, Cat. Voted it up and of course, awesome!!!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      dreamseeker2,

      Aw, you're so awesome, I'm voting YOU up :D

      Thanks a bunch!

      Cat

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      epigramman 4 years ago

      What is this feeling ..........? It's the audible sound of my sigh when CAT takes my breath away.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
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      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Awww, I'm almost too tired to smile... yet you make it happen! :D

      I've been out pounding my fingers with a hammer, building my son a treehouse.... ocassionally, I hit a nail :D

      I'm in so much pain and I'm so tired... but I need my Colin and my HP time.... if only I can hold on for just a bit :-)

      I hope you have had yourself a wonderful day Colin! I think of you often and hope you're finding reasons to smile.

      Big blistered hugs to you and Miss Tiffy and Mr. Gabriel!!!

      Your Cat

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