ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing

Whatever Deanna Fuentes Saw

Updated on March 14, 2015
Source


Going to her room to study her lessons meant that she had to take the main door out into the courtyard and head back towards the dormitory. The problem Deanna Fuentes had to face was the heavy front doors. The clang of metal on the floor was one of the most earsplitting sounds that Deanna ever heard. Everyone who used that door left clutching their ears, and the only exception was Sister Mary Ambers. She was almost deaf and when she had hallway duties she stood by those doors with a satisfying expression on her face.

Deanna Fuentes wanted to ask Father Anthony Marco if she could use the side fire entrance instead of the front doors. She went to his office and her dark eyes widened when she saw something most disturbing and unsettling. She stared horrified and said excuse me through teeth that were clenched in an uncomfortable smile.

“I didn’t see anything,” she half whispered as she ran out of the office.

Deanna wasn’t really paying any attention to where she was going. Instead she just barreled down the hallway, her arms pumping, her thoughts racing. The students standing by their lockers pointed and snickered as she passed them. She was almost thankful for that, because for a moment it took her mind off of what she saw in that office.

Suddenly vice Principle Sister Agnes Simon was in front of her, and Deanna almost bumped into her. She had exited from her office as if she was shot out from a cannon. If she had been remotely interested in telling anyone what she saw Deanna would have noticed her. Instead she said with urgency, “sorry Sister Simon,” and started to continue down the hall.

“No! Ms Fuentes,” She grabbed her by the arm with such force that Deanna thought it might have been wrenched from the socket. She was grabbing her like a life preserver. “Ms Fuentes, wait!”

Deanna stopped pulling and stood directly in front of Sister Simon.

“Why are you running down the corridor?” she asked slowly. She circled Deanna, her hands draped behind her back. “I don’t like running in the hallways. What were you running from?”

Deanna Fuentes looked at a poster on the wall next to a row of lockers and in that poster were three Jesus Christ figures on crosses. The first Christ was covering his eyes. The second Christ was covering his ears, and the third was covering his mouth.

“Something made you storm down these halls,” added Sister Simon.

Deanna felt her heart sinking. She looked at her fingers and then back at Sister Simon. “I wasn’t running.”

With a forced demeanor of casualness Sister Simon smiled at Deanna and said, “don’t lie to me. You almost bowled me over like a bowling pin.”

Lies kept tripping over each other one by one. “I was late for class.”

“Classes were over hours ago.”

“Bathroom?”

“You passed three of them.”

“My ass was on fire, I don’t know why I was running!” She half screamed as she felt her arms and legs weakening.

Sister Simon shifted uncomfortably and then moved closer to Deanna until her nose was touching Deanna’s cheek. “Don’t you ever swear in front of me again. God doesn’t like the evil that we do. You lied and swore, so now I want you to go to your room and write down I will never lie and swear a hundred times and bring it back to me tomorrow morning. Am I understood?”

Deanna Fuentes stared at Sister Simon for only a moment and in her mind righteousness spilled over into self righteousness. She wondered if religion was blind or naïve. These little mental skirmishes were becoming outright battles. The truth behind religion ricocheted off the corridor walls and the innocence of her childhood had been snatched away just like that. Although she could have told Sister Simon what she saw, she didn’t. The strength in her arms and legs were starting to return, but nothing seemed to be interested in functioning.

“A hundred times?”

“Each! Go!”

Deanna Fuentes turned and looked back at Father Marco’s office and saw the peacefulness of a closed door. There was mute nodding from other students all around. Some of the students still had that childhood innocence staining their faces. It was a gift and no one should ever snatch it away.

“Sister Simon,” she paused.

“Yes?”

“Can we go into your office, I want to tell you why I was running and what I saw,” she said without somber. “And if you won’t believe me, then you and this whole religion can go straight to hell!”





#

What would you do in Deanna's place

See results

© 2013 Frank Atanacio

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 3 years ago from Lagos

      fantastic! you have a way with words....

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      LOL of course Phyllis Doyle :)

    • Phyllis Doyle profile image

      Phyllis Doyle Burns 3 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

      Since it was not a dead body (she would have screamed) and no one in the office seemed to be afraid or abused (she would not have said "excuse me. I didn't see anything") I voted to not tell. I can only assume something was going on that should not have been going on -- brilliant deduction, yes? Interesting and mysterious story, Frank.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Vin

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal

      Frank

      You have a full control with your characters and the story. I loved the dark element in this narrative.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Lisa :)

    • Lisawilliamsj profile image

      Lisa Williams 3 years ago

      This is very good, it is fast paced and keeps the reader's attention. I love the fact that you always leave your readers satisfied, yet wanting just a little bit more!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      Thanks Valley always good to see you :)

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 3 years ago

      Riveting read...it's impact lying within what wasn't said...sadly, also relevant to recent news stories....great work buddy :-))

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thanks so much Eddy and wayne :)

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Very good Frank. You leave us with our own imaginations. bravo.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      A brilliant story as always Frank. Voted up and shared.

      Enjoy your day .

      Eddy.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thanks gypsy :)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Intriguing story. Now what did she see.......

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Jodah...:)

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Great story Frank, leaves one contemplating what Deanna saw....and her dilemma to decide to tell or not to tell sister Simon, and if in fact she'll even believe her. Whatever the ending, the reader will always remember this story because of the unanswered question. Voted up, and I'll be sure to check out more of your hubs.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Genna East :)

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      In the final analysis, it wasn't what Deanna saw; it was whether or not she should tell the Sister that poses the moral and spirtual dilemma. Superb write, Frank!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you soo much Flourish..bless you :)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Great story that really gets the reader involved and interested from the very first. It makes me really wonder what's going to happen to Deanna and wonder what the "whatever" exactly was. I found it interesting that the nun was nearly deaf and the painting referenced hear no evil, say no evil, speak no evil. Great imagery!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Moonlake, Mhatter, Faith, always faithful faith, mylinda and Jackie for visiting my Page bless you all :)

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 3 years ago from America

      If what she saw hurt someone else, tell what she saw. If it didn't affect anyone else keep your mouth closed. Voted up.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Dear Frank,

      That photo there set the tone for this dark or mysterious piece here! Hmm, wondering if running into vice Principal Sister Simon was a blessing or not? She may not be the best person to tell, something tells me, but she must tell someone!

      Enjoyed the read as always. Up and more and sharing

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • mylindaelliott profile image

      mylindaelliott 3 years ago from Louisiana

      Sometimes you just have to tell somebody.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Agree with Blossom, great idea. Up and shared.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Blossoms :)

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 3 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      What you omit and leave to the reader's imagination is what makes this story have such an impact. So well written.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      Til its always a pleasure when you stop by bless you :)

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 3 years ago from New York

      Oh dear Flash Fiction Master! Being a Catholic school graduate I can relate to the unyielding personalities of nuns along the way (not all were like that). I can feel for Deanna but I couldn't vote because I need more time to decide what to do and who to tell. I'm not sure it would be Sister Simon.

      Voted up, awesome, and oh so interesting!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Story..:)

    • Storytellersrus profile image

      Barbara 3 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      Frank, this was a very effective story. I am glad she made the final decision to talk to Sister Simon. With all that is happening in the Catholic church with its Priests right now, I can only assume it was sexual abuse. I imagine lots of kids had this sort of decision to make in years past. I would guess most didn't have the courage to share such news. Great job- thought provoking and compassionate.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much G-- Anna, toobusiness and Becky and Sandcastles for stopping by and leaving comments for whatever Deanna Fuentes saw :) bless you all

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 3 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      Very curious about what she saw. Interesting story,

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      I voted to tell, but I'm curious to find out what exactly Deanna saw that was so disturbing.

      Another great read, well done. :)

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Really attention grabbing with dark overtones. Very good :)

    • profile image

      Ghaelach 3 years ago

      Great little story that took place all with-in 5 or 10 min's.