ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Poems & Poetry

Whatever Happened to Dracula's Daughter?

Updated on July 12, 2012

Author's Note: Compassion for a Worthy Cause

I am British, and we Brits always have sympathy with the underdog.

I can recall as a child watching “The Wolf Man” with Lon Cheney with tears in my eyes. How badly that poor man was treated! And just because he turned into a raging monster once a month and gave people hell. I have a number of female friends who do the same thing. Heck, I've done it myself.

And the point is, it wasn’t his fault. He was an innocent victim. He didn’t want to go around ripping people’s throats apart, he just couldn’t help it. So he deserved all our sympathy.

But it seemed to me there was someone who was always left out when sympathy was handed round – someone who was just as unfortunate a victim of circumstance. So I decided to write this song. This is an honest and heartfelt plea for compassion for a misunderstood and much maligned woman.

Whatever Happened to Dracula’s Daughter?

Whatever happened to Dracula’s daughter?

Did she find bliss in a Hollywood romance?

Or did she go on doing what Daddy taught her?

To be just a housewife she hadn’t a chance.

But she never wanted to star in the movies,

She never wanted the limelight to hog;

All she desired was a house in the suburbs,

A husband, a lover, two kids and a dog.

Oh how she yearned to go shopping at Sainsburys

But how she feared being left on the shelf

She wanted to cook Bolognese and play bingo –

She wanted to live just like everyone else.

But no man would marry poor Dracula’s daughter

And although her nature was gentle and sweet,

Each dawn all alone she’d climb into her coffin

With no one on whom she could warm her cold feet.

Home, Sweet Home


Every so often, she’d find a new boyfriend,

And just when the going was getting quite good –

Yes, just as he’s kneel down to make his proposal

She’d b*ggar it up and go after his blood.

But she couldn’t help it if she was a vampire –

We are what we are - to thine own self be true -

She was doomed to eternity working the night shift

Doing the things that a vampire must do.


We who are normal(?), we ought to be thankful,

For although we do have our problems of course

We have gas bills and tax bills and thermo-nuclear missiles

Measles and herpes and death and divorce

But it’s nothing compared to what Dracula’s daughter

Had to endure, and it’s really no joke;

She came from a highly deprived social background

Her mother was a bat and her dad a puff of smoke.

Lying in a state
Lying in a state | Source

She tried to eat tofu, alfalfa and lettuce

Hoping in time that her bloodlust would fade

But in desperation she held up a blood bank

Binged on a gallon and thinks she’s got AIDS

So do spare a thought for Dracula’s daughter

Shed a compassionate tear for her sake

Pity O pity poor Dracula’s daughter

Doomed by her parentage to die at the stake

Yes, do shed a tear for Dracula’s daughter

‘Cause she’d had her chips when they brought out her stake.

Watch the trailer to the movie of her tragic life

Ghoul Popularity Poll

Which monster is the most likeable?

See results


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      whowas 5 years ago

      Ah yes. I see that the final parenthesis has somehow gotten included in the link so that is why it doesn't work. Copy and paste the link without the brackets and it will be fine. :)

      Most people prefer dogs to bats don't they?

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image

      Mazzy Bolero 5 years ago from the U.K.

      Thanks, whowas, I'd almost forgotten I'd written this! It was the first hub I posted - I never thought anyone would read it but a few did. It does actually have a tune and a friend of mine sang it in a folk club and got a few laughs. The werewolf I was thinking of was Lon Cheney in the old movie. I never found him that ravishing - he seemed more like the average Joe. But maybe I was missing something :) Also, there's "An American Werewolf in London," which is of course a bit tongue-in-cheek, and has a hero who is a nice, good-looking guy with an unfortunate uncontrollable habit of ripping people apart. Come to think of it, you don't see many really evil werewolves in movies. Vampires are another thing, they are almost always bad through and through. I enjoy proper vampire stories, so I'm going to read that hub. (P.S. that link to your hub doesn't work!)

    • profile image

      whowas 5 years ago

      That's great! Very funny and insightful and has certainly brought a smile to my face. It's the sort of thing that I always wish I had done myself but my brain just doesn't work in the right way to produce something so witty and full of charm.

      My own recent treatment of the vampire thing came out altogether darker in tone ( and even caused fear to tremble in the heart of one poor reader.

      You know, I was interested in your introduction especially. The image of the unpredictable man who is innocent of the fact that he turns into a dangerous monster from time to time, is interesting and somewhat disturbing an idea from a feminist perspective - given that he is so attractive to women and commands sympathy and forgiveness rather than condemnation for his bad behavior and violence.

      I imagine that the myth of the werewolf has its origins in the experience of far too many women who have loved too much.

      Bother, I seem incapable of levity! Thank you for bringing a little jollity to my all too serious mind...

    • SallyTX profile image

      Sally Branche 5 years ago from Only In Texas!

      Very clever treatment! Voted up & funny! ;D

    • Pearldiver profile image

      Rob Welsh 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time.

      You are most welcome MB... my words are sincere! Write us a storm poet.

    • Mazzy Bolero profile image

      Mazzy Bolero 5 years ago from the U.K.

      Thank you so much! That was so nice of you.

    • Pearldiver profile image

      Rob Welsh 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time.

      Nicely done first up and my apologies for the forum post that I made when I wrongly reacted to in the belief that your original post wasn't a serious one. Your efforts here are great and I hope that you get the cross section of readers to this work that it deserves. Thanks for sharing your talent and for the smile that your lyrics brought me. Voted this up and I look forward to more of your writing.. take care.