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Whatever it Takes, (To Make You Laugh), a Poem

Updated on November 22, 2012

My New Great Thing is (Just Laugh!)

I troll POF, not for dates,

but to correct guys spelling.

As you can imagine...

it's not appreciated

from someone who

"Jus wnat sum pusy."

I reply...

"Sarah, what's wrong?"

I titter endlessly just

writing the words,

nevermind the cro-magnum diddles,

I ain't no Lady!

I reply, "No, your not!"

and if you were, I sure

wouldn't let you on the stagecoach!

You want a man with *its,

or a woman with no brains,

which is what a man with *its is!

The conversation envariably lags.

I invite the man with *its to a chess game.

Further silence.

whereas I begin to titter once again,

and write the fine, self described Capitalist,

as something Camille Claudel shrieked to

Rodin's garbage cans.

You Know it! Further silence! Ohhh!

Sarah, What's wrong?

Can't you play chess

with a grown ass hot woman?

titters on my side,

I'm still laughing,

and I'll be surveying the battlefield soon

for survivors!

Oh. Just Laugh!


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    • lilyfly profile image

      Lillian K. Staats 5 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

      Yikes! I'll never drink twenty beers before writing again! Haha! You know, you remind me oth the sanctity of the word. I do lack all formal schooling, so the niceties do not come too eassily, but thank you very much! Love yaz, lily

    • moonfroth profile image

      Clark Cook 5 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico)

      Tongue-in-cheek or straight-on, this is great good fun. I DID laugh, as you hoped. Now my dear friend, you begin here by correcting spelling and making fun of dolts who can't even spell "pussy" when they want it. So, it could well be that the errors in English that follow are deliberate, or they just slid by you. Anyhoo, ages ago (in cyber-time) you asked me to edit ALL your stuff, if warranted. So, whether the following bloops are part of the fun or no, from beginning to end of poem we have:

      SHOULD BE:

      "a guy's spelling" (if only ONE dolt, or. . ."guys' spelling" (if MANY dolts) .

      "No, you're not". This damn "your" business drives you nuts, doesn't it? Try this test--when you've written "your", look back amd say to yourself, "in this phrase COULD I write "you are" and have it make sense? If the answer is "yeah, that would make sense", then you want "you're", not "your". THIS IS TRUE 100% OF THE TIME! Gotta love it--what else in your life is 100% true?

      spelling: "invariably"

      "whereas"--I'm pretty sure you want "whereupon", which by happy accident is even more legalese-ee and pretentious than "whereas", your little ironic moment of switching into stuffy, formal language.

      "self-described". This is a compound adjective, which is a descriptive, single UNIT. The test here is to try each part singly with the noun. Thus, the "self Capitalist" and the "described Capitalist", neither of which makes a whit of sense. Then you know you need the hyphen .

      And, a really juicy one in the compound adjective dept. -- either you want a "grown-ass hot woman" (an overweight or older woman who is nonetheless a hot piece) or you want a "grown ass-hot woman" (an adult female with an ass that is esp. enticing sexually). Choose one. Either is hilarious. The power of the HYPHEN!

      Great fun. . . .Love your stuff, as always.

    • lilyfly profile image

      Lillian K. Staats 5 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

      Ah hahahaha! I've found a new hobby! Love yaz, lily