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When Time Is Your Crutch

Updated on June 29, 2011

My Scapegoat

Only nowI I understand the reasons for my uncertainty

I have blamed time

For it was defenseless and unarmed

I continued to hate it with every breath I take

I would often be upset and want more of what I can never buy

I could talk for hours of the pain and suffering it has cost me over the years

The endless flow of tears that covered my writings to make them blurry to the touch

It is only now I see what others don't know or want to believe

For years I searched for reasons and people to share my suffering

Other people just accept it and roll with the punches

They say sayings that add fuel to my fire

Whatever gets done gets done

No time for it today tomorrow is another day

Win some loose some

That is the way life is

Easy come easy go

But for me it was No No No

I will not have it or even let that thought cross my mind for a split second

I will find a way to get everything done every day

I will cut my sleep time in half

I will eat while I work

I will skip a meal if I have to

I will press on and push when other people stop

When the bell rings and people go home and call it a day

I want to punch in and do overtime

This way I will find a way to get all things done

I have a great fire in my chest that keeps burning to let all my desires out

I have no time to waste

I can keep going until my body is totally exhausted

I can go even farther than I did yesterday

I have thoughts that keep popping in my head every second

Why not let them out

It is not a race against people or some place to travel to

It is a race that makes my heart beat faster

It is an adrenaline rush

Where my blood rushes from my head from sitting to much

The feeling of comprehending all there is

When you first turn the computer on and get that quick surge of power that life has been reborn

You can see the world open up infront of you

Now a blank screen is a virtual heaven of information

But why go there

When I have my own personal customized computer

Ready to share and print

I have been inputting billions upon billions of things for years

Does my computer have a secret password that I don't even know

That when it is punched in my world becomes not one but one million worlds for me to see

As I type trying to crack that secret code

That has alluded me for years

I am alone in my quest because no one else finds the time to take on such a daunting task

I wake up and my brain is all jumbled with so many thoughts

So what I do is give it a cold ice cream to give it a brain freeze to shock it

I have total control at all times of my knowledge

Now I let my mind go blank and try to gain some composure

Now I become focused in one thought and concentrate on what it is

I will not let other thoughts barge their way in like a bully on a street corner

I am the sole proprietor and there will be no one else

Now with that said I attack with full speed every dream that I have ever dreamed

I have found a way to use the time I have today in the proper way

By seeing what I have and using that time to the best use possible

Because any other way is wasting my time and then I go backwards and I am loosing ground

It is like sinking in the water and someone keeps adding more weight

You keep struggling but your fight is endless and so will be your life

Now with my head above water and the clear view in my sights

I will refocus and welcome time into my life

To teach me more what I do not know

How it takes so long to come and it leaves without notice

The reason it is so special and it is so precious

If others knew the secret combination they might try to use it for the wrong use

So it is carefully guarded by the obvious but somewhat mysterious events that keep it safe at all times

So those who beg for it never get it

Those who squander it loose it

Those who abuse it miss it

Then there are those who adore it and can have it forever

As they share it and treasure it because they understand

Time is but a mirror of all we know



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    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Dim Flaxenwick I try to uncover all my unwanted feelings and find a way to improve on them.The best way I found so far is to overwhelm my thoughts with good thoughts.Then life gets easier little at a time.Thanx so much it means a great deal to me to have you visiting and taking the time for you to comment.

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 

      7 years ago from Great Britain

      that was wonderful. Very thought-provoking too.

      Thank you.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Aeriel_ALN I just learn as I go.Luckily The lessons I learned the hardest keep bringing me closer to my goals.My life is like a movie but too often I want to jump to the end.I just have to be patient and take one day at a time.Thank you so much for reading.

    • Aeriel_ALN profile image


      7 years ago from Lindenwood University

      Everything comes so clearly back to choosing to stop and enjoy the little things, I'm glad that you are so well in tuned with the concept.

      All the best,


    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Aeriel_ALN I am still shaking my head why I haven't seen it before.We have to accept the things we do and enjoy them.The rest of life will be there for us to choose from but it is up to us to decide to pick or to pass by.Thanx so much for reading and sharing my deep thoughts.

    • Aeriel_ALN profile image


      7 years ago from Lindenwood University

      Mind boggling this one, DREAM ON. Wonderful and well written.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Karen Wodke I know the feeling. I had five more pages but I ran out of time.So I did the best I could with the time that I have.I finally made my peace with time.Once you do things have a funny way of surprising you.You don't run short instead your clock is always running.You are not running away but you are running with the wind and nature is carrying you.So be free and let nature take you too.I am a list person if there is such a thing.I make things to do lists all the time.I have lists of lists that I will try to do.I see many things get done and more lists of things that don't.Life is full of unique hidden messages.With my luck they are probably lists.Have a wonderful day and thanks so much for keeping me sane.I thought I was the only one.

    • Karen Wodke profile image

      Karen Wodke 

      7 years ago from Midwest

      Usually time is my enemy. I don't even have room here to describe all the ways it has fought me and tricked me, ruled me and grieved me. Your poem is awesome. I have thought before of sitting down and expressing my feelings about the subject, but as usual, I don't have time. lol.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Apostle Jack Once again with Gods love we can move in many directions and accompish so much.It takes time to understand.Thank you ao much.

    • profile image

      Apostle Jack 

      7 years ago

      Time can be on your side as well as against you.What one does with there time is a factor to be reckon with.You can't get to where you are going are want to go without time my friend.God gave us His "Holy Spirit" for a reason,and that reason is to have "Total Victory" OVER ANY NEGATIVE FORCES THAT EXIST IN THIS WORLD.

      We are encourage to Grow in knowledge...and..there is a lot more left that the world have yet to experience.

      Seek................and ye shall find.


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