When Time Is Your Crutch

Only nowI I understand the reasons for my uncertainty

I have blamed time

For it was defenseless and unarmed

I continued to hate it with every breath I take

I would often be upset and want more of what I can never buy

I could talk for hours of the pain and suffering it has cost me over the years

The endless flow of tears that covered my writings to make them blurry to the touch

It is only now I see what others don't know or want to believe

For years I searched for reasons and people to share my suffering

Other people just accept it and roll with the punches

They say sayings that add fuel to my fire

Whatever gets done gets done

No time for it today tomorrow is another day

Win some loose some

That is the way life is

Easy come easy go

But for me it was No No No

I will not have it or even let that thought cross my mind for a split second

I will find a way to get everything done every day

I will cut my sleep time in half

I will eat while I work

I will skip a meal if I have to

I will press on and push when other people stop

When the bell rings and people go home and call it a day

I want to punch in and do overtime

This way I will find a way to get all things done

I have a great fire in my chest that keeps burning to let all my desires out

I have no time to waste

I can keep going until my body is totally exhausted

I can go even farther than I did yesterday

I have thoughts that keep popping in my head every second

Why not let them out

It is not a race against people or some place to travel to

It is a race that makes my heart beat faster

It is an adrenaline rush

Where my blood rushes from my head from sitting to much

The feeling of comprehending all there is

When you first turn the computer on and get that quick surge of power that life has been reborn

You can see the world open up infront of you

Now a blank screen is a virtual heaven of information

But why go there

When I have my own personal customized computer

Ready to share and print

I have been inputting billions upon billions of things for years

Does my computer have a secret password that I don't even know

That when it is punched in my world becomes not one but one million worlds for me to see

As I type trying to crack that secret code

That has alluded me for years

I am alone in my quest because no one else finds the time to take on such a daunting task

I wake up and my brain is all jumbled with so many thoughts

So what I do is give it a cold ice cream to give it a brain freeze to shock it

I have total control at all times of my knowledge

Now I let my mind go blank and try to gain some composure

Now I become focused in one thought and concentrate on what it is

I will not let other thoughts barge their way in like a bully on a street corner

I am the sole proprietor and there will be no one else

Now with that said I attack with full speed every dream that I have ever dreamed

I have found a way to use the time I have today in the proper way

By seeing what I have and using that time to the best use possible

Because any other way is wasting my time and then I go backwards and I am loosing ground

It is like sinking in the water and someone keeps adding more weight

You keep struggling but your fight is endless and so will be your life

Now with my head above water and the clear view in my sights

I will refocus and welcome time into my life

To teach me more what I do not know

How it takes so long to come and it leaves without notice

The reason it is so special and it is so precious

If others knew the secret combination they might try to use it for the wrong use

So it is carefully guarded by the obvious but somewhat mysterious events that keep it safe at all times

So those who beg for it never get it

Those who squander it loose it

Those who abuse it miss it

Then there are those who adore it and can have it forever

As they share it and treasure it because they understand

Time is but a mirror of all we know