ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

When the Caring Stopped

Updated on September 16, 2017

When

She wanted to pinpoint the exact moment when her mouth stopped saying; "I don't care" and her heart stopped caring.

She wanted to recall that clarity of thought, that neutrality of spirit, and mark it, celebrate it, in some way designate it the Day I Stopped Caring.

She tried to recall, going to one event to another encounter, to a report or a view, but she really couldn't recall.....


The First Time

The first time he really hurt her was a week before the wedding. Which is why she never married him.

They had lived together in the pre-marriage style, seeing how they fit, and then, thinking it was working, made the plans.

It was fortunate that he had his affair before she made a life mistake.

She didn't leave him just then, because to let go would have been 'defeat' ; the usual Cat on a Hot Tin Garbage Can.

Once enough time had passed and the affair was a shrug, when she had apparently 'won' the battle for him... she wonder what she had won...

She had loved him. That can not be disputed. She had loved him, but also started to hate him. And when the hate was a bit more than the love she left him.

Seeing him....

Time passed, days, weeks, months...then years. She had a life, places to go, things to do, she wasn't sitting looking into space. She had left him, she had gone on with her life, and so....

He looked awful the last she'd seen him.

He looked awful and was in dire straits.

He came to the office where she worked and he waited as everyone else.

Waited because they didn't know him, and he couldn't say he was her husband, lover, boyfriend....
because he wasn't...
and didn't have any idea if she had a husband, lover, boyfriend..

He waited.
And then he came to her.

As no one there (as opposed to her old office) knew who or what he had been to her, there wasn't embarrassing stares from co-workers that this wretched man had once been intimate with her.

They saw a number of men like him during the day Failures who came a begging.

He was just another failure who came a begging. Nothing special about him.

During the short time he spent in the chair besides her desk there was no hint
in her demeanor that once he had almost been her husband. She didn't treat
him any differently than she would a stranger.

Because he was a stranger.

Denouement

When he left she'd filled in the forms as was the standard and moved on to the next applicant. She didn't feel anything.

She knew she was supposed to feel something. But didn't.

She took an early lunch to explore the non-feeling but other things encroached. She didn't have a retrospective.

That's when she knew that saying; "I don't care," was as illogical as refusing a job
she wasn't offered.

Popular

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • qeyler profile imageAUTHOR

      qeyler 

      6 years ago

      thank you very much...

    • mljdgulley354 profile image

      mljdgulley354 

      6 years ago

      Sometimes we have to tell ourselves "I don't care" to get to the end and over the hurt. Great hub

    • qeyler profile imageAUTHOR

      qeyler 

      6 years ago

      thank you

    • barryseotech profile image

      barryseotech 

      6 years ago from England

      nice information :)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)