When the storm passes
As I sit here and listen to the rain hit the window, the thunder crash and the lightening flash, I think back upon days when I was the most happiest. I am a single mom of four, recently divorced; about a year ago so thinking back to happy days sometimes helps with the darkness I find myself in most of the time. My children are my most precious gift I could have ever received. I value them more than I do myself.
A little over two years ago, I left my now ex-husband. I took the children and left while he slept. I came back home to Arkansas from North Carolina because I didn't know where else to go. My family is here, what family I have and I knew that they would help me.
About two weeks before I left my ex, he and I had gotten into an argument which became physical on his part. He choked me once with what he called a half nelson which I am assuming is some type of wrestling move. He also punched me and choked me again, this time with a belt. The second time I almost passed out. He did all of this in front of the children.
I won't say that our marriage was great cause it wasn't. My ex was a drug addict, he liked to drink also. Him and I had many instances of confrontations, some of which he got arrested and thrown in jail and I got the restraining order. I always took him back. I wasn't strong enough then to stand my ground and move on. I thought that I loved him and I thought he loved me. It turns out he was just an overbearing man who wanted what he wanted when he wanted it and I didn't really matter.
As I was trekking half way across the continent, he called me several times threatening to have me arrested for parental kidnapping. He always tried to use some kind of ruse to keep me from doing something. I knew the law and knew he couldn't do that. When I came back home, the kids and I stayed with my mom. I got a restraining order against him. A month later, I had my own place.
A month after that, we had a court date for the restraining order. He tried to put all the blame on me. I had an attorney, he didn't. I got the restraining order for one year even though I wanted it longer. I was happy that he was gonna be out of my life.
Now, I am trying to overcome all that has happened since then. I am going to counseling, going to a women's group, taking my meds as prescribed, going to school and have found an outlet with writing.