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Where The Left Sock Goes
Have you ever wondered where the missing socks go? It seems across the world throughout the ages boys and girls alike lose a sock. A sock! Only one! I know I always wondered what caused this strange phenomenon. As a child I even wrote a journal about it. I have the truth! Would you like to know? I don't mind sharing it with you. That is.....if you can keep a secret. My fascination or as some would call it, my obsession, with the missing sock started around the first grade. I recorded my findings so that I could pass my knowledge to the next generation. Well here it is.
In the beginning
Every sunday, my mom and grandmother do the laundry. They take my laundry hamper from my room into the laundry room. All every piece of my dirty clothing is in that basket. I know because I put it there. Its simple I come home I change from my school clothes to my play clothes and into the basket it goes. On Sunday, my mom or grandmother takes my laundry and washes it. Then, my sister and I help her hang the clothes up on the clothes line. 14 shirts..CHECK! 7 pants.....CHECK! 28 socks....check? Nooooo! Time after time I am missing a sock or two. Its always the left sock. "How do you know that?", you may ask. Well, I aways put sock on the right foot first. I put my first sock on and when I got to put my left sock on, it's missing. Every time it never fails. Socks go in but there don't come out. At first I thought it was a prank from my annoying little sister. She always steals my things. And I have the cutest socks. Some are pink with polk- a -dots. Others are striped with the colors of the rainbow. And some are just plain white. Either way my left sock is missing.
Operation Lost Sock
I devised a plan to find my sock. I'd write my name on the top of each sock. So, If anyone including my bratty sister was stealing my sock I would see it instantly. And I would have proof. Why would anyone possibly have my name on their sock? Because they'd be a sock thief! On laundry day I was so excited to see my plan in action. 14 shirts..CHECK! 7 pants.....CHECK! 28 socks....NOPE. Only 26 socks. I wasn't worried. I figured this would happen. All week I looked at my families socks as they walked around the house. I thought I had a break in the case when I saw my sister were a blue pair of care bear socks. "Let me see your feet!", I said. "Why?", she responded. "Because I want to see if your the sock thief"."I'm not a thief"."Yes you are. You're always stealing my stuff because my stuff is cool". I preceded to look at her socks as she began to call to our mom. But my name wasn't anywhere. "Girls stop going crazy in there!", my mom shouts from the kitchen. Crazy, how can I be calm when their is a crisis going on.
Still no luck with finding a thief. I can scratch all my family members off the list. My mom and grandmother have big feet and my feet are small. My sister doesn't seem to have them. Perhaps there is another explaination.
- Some stranger is mysteriously coming into our laundry room to steal socks.
- The washer is eating the socks
- The socks are vanishing like a magic trick gone wrong
- Maybe we dropped them and my dog happened to run off with them (highly unlikely)
I want to be a scientist one day. I must handle this issue scientifically. I will prove or disprove my theories one at a time.
I decided that trying catch the thief red hand by writing my name on my socks was not a good plan. Obviously the thief was not a member of my family. And I cant walk around town pulling the shoes off of strangers to view their socks. At first, i thought the thief must have only one foot as they only needed one sock. But then, how could they enter my house so stealthy. Perhaps they were a ninja...nah that's just silly. I decided I need to set a trap. First, I sprinkled flour all over the floor. The thief would surely leave foot prints in the flour and then leave their foots prints on the carpet as they left the house. Then, I also set a mouse trap in my laundry basket. If the thief tried to steal my dirty socks they would get a suprise. Finally, I hid by the front door with my Polaroid camera. That way I would have a photo to give to the policeman. I found out that my sister's socks would come up missing too. I recruited her to help me. She stood guard at the back door. We waited and waited. Until..."AHHHHH". Apparently my mom set off the mouse trap and she saw the flour on the floor. My mom was not happy at all. I had to clean up the mess by myself and I was grounded for a week. When we went to hang up the laundry 14 shirts..CHECK! 7 pants.....CHECK! 28 socks....check? Still a sock was missing. How did this happen?
The washer must be eating them! I counted all my laundry before my mom took it. Gross! Dirty laundry stinks. I counted it as we took it out of the washer. 14 shirts..CHECK! 7 pants.....CHECK! 28 socks....check! So, the washer wasn't eating it. We took the laundry into the back yard to hang it up. And I began to count 14 shirts..CHECK! 7 pants.....CHECK! 27 socks....Wait!! How did I lose a sock?
At this point its clear my sock is vanishing. I told my mom that I believe that possible aliens where stealing our socks. This was the only logical explanation. I had counted my socks. I had made a trap. I had labeled my socks. Still I found no other clues. I think aliens where stealing our socks to collect human DNA. But, my mom says I'm being silly and should stop watching sci-fi movies with grandma. My mom claimed that I dropped my socks along the way to the cloths line. But I'm not buying it. She starts pinning my socks together before putting them in the washer. She says it will help me keep track if my stuff. Like I can help if my clothes are vaporizing! The next week we did laundry as usual. 14 shirts..CHECK! 7 pants.....CHECK! 26 socks....GRRRRR! This time its the left and right sock. I looked everywhere and could not find the missing pair. Of course I could never blame my sweet innocent dog. She loves me! It seems the safety pins kept the aliens from stealing one sock so they took them both.
In the end
From that day on I hand washed my socks. My sister did as well. We never lost a sock again. Now that I'm an adult I wash my socks in the washing machine. I'm a gown up. Aliens don't want grown up socks. They never stole my mom's or grandma's. Maybe grown up feet are too stinky to aliens. My children are now experiencing the same phenomenon. I just smile as they stare perplexed at the lone right sock. Then I look up at the sky wondering, "why only one sock?"