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Who Then Do I Listen To?

Updated on March 22, 2014
Inner Voice from Nick Grabowski
Inner Voice from Nick Grabowski
Inner Voices from Meta-morphosis
Inner Voices from Meta-morphosis
internal_struggle from chapolito
internal_struggle from chapolito
Inner Strength from Desiree
Inner Strength from Desiree

Who Then Do I Listen To?

By Tony DeLorger © 2014

Astounded by my own reticence, I claw my way to understanding,

having first to allow infringing truths to prevail in consciousness,

and it is no easy matter, this overriding revelation,

letting go of preconceptions and damning myself for procrastinating,

but begrudgingly I concede to my inner, more enlightened self.

Struggle is a daily occurrence, that lazy me flinching at every suggestion,

and that inner sanctimonious me that revels in forcing issues,

and knows better without thought or concession, clawing it's way to surface,

and me taken aback, resisting out of principle, clinging to outmoded notions,

and in the end losing the fight and the battle outright.

With strength this inner me resounds with determination,

dragging me from lethargy and maudlin thoughts into the light of day,

here, with my eyes squinting, I endure my own wrath,

get to stare reality in the face and peal back what shell remains,

ultimately leaving me naked as a newborn babe.

How I wish for peace now and then,

having to face demons and unwanted truths is an exhausting plight,

one that I could grasp intermittently, on the occasion,

not at the whim of my guru fucking self, knocking incessantly on my door,

tearing me away from my sleep and my languid, benign dreams.

Instead I must face me, toe to toe, glaring ineptitude with darkest eyes,

hammering my easy-going nature to climb Everest at will,

when all I want is the peace of mind that ignorance allows,

never this tedium of considerations projected on a world,

like a drive in movie, I just can't stop watching.

Often our true selves, our morality, our responsibility, our understanding, resides within us, and we, not conscious of it, need to become so. In this way we discover who we really are and the potential that each one of us has in waiting.


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    • Tony DeLorger profile image

      Tony DeLorger 3 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Thanks John, finding oneself is somewhat of a cliche these days, but as you say not many people are prepared to peal away the shell and be that vulnerable about they we are. I try with my writing, and it is a cathartic process, extremely valuable and necessary in my life. We've had bits of rain, on and off but it looks like we're in for a drought. Glad you're getting some rain. Enjoy it while it lasts. Take care.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey Tony, great poem to reflect on here. You often hear people say, "I need to be alone and have quiet time, to find myself" or something to that effect. I think many of us despite lots of soul searching, never 'find' ourselves, and go through life not knowing our real purpose or who we really are. Voted up, hope it's raining down is here...hallelujah.